Alien: Romulus (2024)

I just saw the new Alien movie today, and it was good. Very much a return to form. Effectively paid homage to the classics, melding elements from the original films, while gently innovating to keep the film feeling relevant and not simply redundant, but without being too jarring to the mythos. I like that they kept the "working class sci-fi" perspective, and it was interesting to explore in a new way the prejudice against synthetics. Andy was a great character, giving the filmmakers an opportunity to convey the grey area involved with making difficult moral choices. At the right times, he managed to be intimidating while still remaining sympathetic.

I lost a little bit of interest in the climax, where the inspiration from Alien: Resurrection was strongest. And since you can't help making comparisons to earlier films, I was distracted by the disparity of wardrobe in the final, post-bedtime arc. It makes you wonder how a movie that relies on body horror, and whose creative vision was guided by an artist who shocked the world by marrying sex with death, can be so gymnophobic. We have to watch the xenomorph crawling out of what, by all accounts, appears to be an alien vagina (actually, that was pretty cool), but we don't get to see the female lead in her skivvies? What kind of dystopian future are we living in?

But, that's a pretty superficial complaint. Overall, I enjoyed the movie very much.

Alien (1979)

I can still remember the first time I saw the movie Alien as a child. It was playing on TV, on one of those perfect summer evenings, where it stays light long after dinner. There's something about the experience of settling in to watch a horror movie while it's still light out, and then having twilight descend, leaving you in the dark of night by the time the credits roll. The movie's sequel, Aliens - the epitome of the rare, successful sequel, raising the stakes while employing clever innovation over the familiarity of thematic repetition - undoubtedly had a larger impact on my childhood, but this is where the nightmare started. And when I say "nightmare", I mean that literally.

From the slow and misdirectingly eerie opening crawl (in all its retro-futuristic glory); the down-to-(ironically)-earth depiction of blue collar life among the stars (a stellar presentation of plausible characters that feel lived-in); the atmosphere of fear and paranoia that develops (second only to John Carpenter's The Thing) when an unfamiliar alien lifeform is discovered on a cold and forbidding wasteland of a planet; to the shock and visceral terror of the xenomorph's startling appearance - a scene unrivaled in cinematic history; and then the inspired biomechanical design of the creature, thanks to the now late visionary artist H.R. Giger, which taps into our fears of sex and technology and our own bodies and - as a young child with arachnophobia - the primal terror of an eldritch predator, sleek and black, that moves uncannily and lurks in dark corners and tunnels, waiting to strike its prey without warning; all building up to the climactic finish, with its flashing lights and hissing shadows, leaving viewers breathless and on the edge of their seats as so many movies promise, but so few can actually deliver.

Directed by Ridley Scott, Alien is so effective that it manages to transcend the label of a slasher film - even though that's exactly what it amounts to on paper - elevating itself to the level of sci-fi/horror legend. And for the fortieth anniversary of its initial release, I'm going to watch it again - in a movie theater for the first time!

Starry Eyes (2014)

"That's what I want to capture in this film: the ugliness of the human spirit."

From the very first scene, you can tell that there's something wrong with this movie. And, being that this is a horror movie, I unfortunately don't mean that in a good way. I can't believe it's gotten so many good reviews! The lead (Alexandra Essoe) - playing an aspiring Hollywood actress - is excessively prone to neuroticism. It's distracting. As much as I appreciate the Poe school of thought on constructing atmosphere (i.e., every word in the story must contribute to the desired mood), you need to start with a sympathetic character (which is not the same thing as a "good person", if Breaking Bad has taught us anything), and an intriguing story. I don't doubt that picking up and moving to Los Angeles and pinning all your hopes on the remote chance that you're really as talented as your parents and boyfriends have always told you is scary, but it's not literally a waking nightmare, with hallucinations and everything. At least, not unless you have a serious mental disorder - but this girl, prone to hyperventilating, and pulling her hair out over auditions that she really did well at, is not so much fascinating to watch (as was the case in They Look Like People) as simply annoying. I'd mention, too, that the movie seems to play too nicely into the hands of those who love to overemphasize the perils of the modeling industry, but perhaps that's more of a personal gripe.

At any rate, the theme of this story is a cross-pollination of The Neon Demon and Rosemary's Baby, that develops not unlike The House of the Devil (minus its subtlety and restraint). The idea is that the Hollywood elite are populated by devil-worshipers, and it's an exploration of what a person can be willing to do for fame. It's not a completely original idea, but it's an interesting one, which is why it's such a shame that this movie lacks a feeling of "truthiness", and that it spends so much time focused on gore that you lose interest in whatever it might be trying to say. Like, that maybe sucking a bigwig producer's cock (apparently, blowjobs are a viable method for demonic impregnation - I'm not sure if this is a neat idea, or just lazy plotting) for a gateway part might actually be worth it if you really want to be a star - and that when your non-famous "friends" protest in the name of moral outrage (while hypocritically popping pills they can't even identify), they're just proving the point. Maybe "body horror" isn't really my thing after all (although some of my favorite movies of all time are body horrors - Alien, John Carpenter's The Thing), but the story should have been the cult, not using it as an excuse for (spoiler) the film to devolve into a typical slasher. Could there potentially be a delicious steak sitting here on the platter in front of me? Maybe, but I can't taste it for all the blood and vomit poured over top of it. Save yourself a stomachache - make a list of all the much better movies this one is being compared to, and then watch those instead.

The X-Files - S8:E10 "Badlaa"

[ S8:E9 "Salvage" <<< Season 8 >>> S8:E11 "The Gift" ]

So badlaa it's goodlaa? Ya know, it wasn't until I started watching this episode that I realized it's been a long time since The X-Files has done an "ethnic" episode - which is something it used to do relatively often. Surely there have been others in the time since, but the last most prominent ones I remember were Teliko and El Mundo Gira from season 4. The latter was written by John Shiban, who also penned this episode, marking his first writing credit for this season, and his first solo writing credit since season 6. The premise for this one is pretty out there. Leave it to a sixth grader to provide the perfect description for the freak in this episode - a "munchkin" (played by a deadly straight-faced Deep Roy, whom you might remember as the Oompa Loompa in Tim Burton's version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory).

The episode goes for the gross-out - in the opener, it's pretty obvious that the tiny Indian man is inside the fat guy, but what isn't clear is whether the Indian man crawled in there somehow (ew), or if the fat guy simply ate him - but there's a fine line between spinal slugs and anal taxis (especially when you have to watch the grimy-looking passenger on screen for the rest of the episode, knowing where he's been). I fear this episode crosses that line into tasteless territory. But season 1 had its share of duds, too, so I'm not going to hold it against this season. And besides, there's something admirable in the fact that, as preposterous as the premise is, the episode doesn't seem to care, and dedicates itself to going all out - balls to the wall. And the way the creepy Indian guy pushes himself around on that platform, complete with squeaky wheels - with no qualms whatsoever about chasing after children - it has total nightmare fuel potential. So that's something.

It's also nice to see Chuck Burks again. All of this nostalgia from earlier seasons of the show is really going a long way towards balancing out Mulder's absence, preventing it from feeling like a completely different show. And Doggett's reaction to Chuck Burks' outlandish theories is perfectly on point. But I don't buy trying to ascribe a human motive to the killer in this episode. Unlike the revenge angle in Salvage, I think this episode works better - and is a whole lot creepier - if the freak is simply following some kind of mutated biological instinct to procreate or whatever (and yes, typing that sentence made my skin crawl - but that's kinda the point here). Anyway, Scully and Doggett are still at odds with their opposing investigative approaches (doubtless a few cases aren't going to be enough to build the kind of rapport Mulder and Scully had), though in the end, Scully berates herself for not going even further, and being unable to live up to Mulder's legacy. One wonders if this isn't setting us up for another (mythology?) episode dealing with Mulder's whereabouts - hint, hint.

Memorable quotes:

Doggett: So what do you think, Agent Scully? Haunted hotel room, alien invaders, sloppy vampires?

(You really have been reading up on that backlog of X-Files, after all!)

Doggett: In my experience, dead men don't tip, Agent Scully.

(Ah, Doggett. It's weird to be able to pin his character so soon, but...he is ever able to boil his skepticism down to a laconic witticism).

Doggett: You know I agree that having an open mind is important to crime-solving, but...this theory of yours requires an openness that I'm just not comfortable with.

(You and me both, Agent Doggett).

Chuck Burks: It's hard to believe in something when you can't understand it.

The X-Files - S8:E4 "Roadrunners"

[ S8:E3 "Patience" <<< Season 8 >>> S8:E5 "Invocation" ]

Spoiler Warning: No big myth spoilers here, but if you want to be surprised by the freak that turns up in this episode, you might want to skip this review. I can tell you that this is as good an episode as you can expect to watch from the Robert Patrick years, in case you'd prefer to experience it yourself. It was written by Vince Gilligan, if that helps you decide.

I'm getting flashbacks to the first half of season 6 with all these desert landscapes we've been seeing the past few episodes - but the remote atmosphere suits this episode's story well. In the opener, a hitchhiker in Utah boards a bus driven by Large Marge, only to find himself caught in the middle of some seriously weird cult activity, involving an old-fashioned stoning, and, as we later find out, a literally spine-tingling example of total gross-out body horror. Scully heads out on location to investigate, while tasking Doggett back at headquarters with searching the X-Files for details on a similar case (didn't Mulder have Scully do that once? It's good to be king, isn't it, Scully?). It's interesting to see Scully take point on investigating an X-File, considering how many times she acted bored and reluctant to be dragged into a case by Mulder. My, how things have changed. But I guess with Mulder gone, Scully has no choice but to "cowboy up" and shoulder the burden. She's good at it, though.

Anyhow, Scully wanders into a creepy small town with a secret (that's trying to keep the modern world at bay - not unlike the residents of Home), just like in a classic X-File (but unlike Our Town, it's not cannibals she will have to face). She gets stranded, and it really starts feeling like the setup to a slasher movie - but one of the good ones, with a solid grasp of tension and atmosphere. I swear, the layout of the boarding house reminded me of the home in the Texas Chain Saw Massacre. I wouldn't be surprised if that wasn't just a coincidence. And the townsfolk do an immaculate job of luring the stranger in - never once breaking character. It's to a point where you could almost believe that they're just uncommonly kind - albeit a little backwoods - to strangers, and that Scully's big city paranoia is unwarranted. Almost.

And when the shit does hit the fan, the episode is uncommonly effective at making the peril feel real. It's hard to care on this show when somebody's life is in danger - on the one hand, the guest actors won't be back the next week either way, and on the other, you know (almost) nothing serious is going to happen to the main characters. But whatever tricks are in use here are working. I'm glad to see that Vince Gilligan is back to writing serious episodes. I always liked his serious episodes better, even if he was one of the better comedy writers to follow in Darin Morgan's footsteps. But between this, and Chris Carter's straightforward freak-of-the-week episode last week, it looks like this whole Robert Patrick business was good for the series, after all. It would be a little shameful, but not entirely surprising to me, if season 8 shaped up to be better, overall, than season 7 was (or at the very least, more consistent in quality). I guess I'll just have to wait and see - two or three or even four episodes doesn't quite make a trend. Yet.

Two words: spinal slug (just thinking about it makes my skin crawl).

Memorable quotes:

Scully: You're gonna wanna wash this out, put some iodine on it - you don't want it to get infected.
Gas Station Man: You sound like my mother.
Scully: Yeah, well, I also sound like a doctor.

Hank: This is a lot to take in.
Scully: No kidding.

Mr. Milsap: That last man just wasn't a suitable tabernacle. The thing of it is, there's always the chance that your body won't fail him. That he'll be in you forever.

Doggett: Just talked to a guy had a gun in his pocket, and I don't mean he was happy to see me.

(Nobody can replace Mulder's dry wit, but Doggett's deadpan delivery is not unwelcome).

The X-Files - S5:E15 "Travelers"

[ S5:E14 "The Red and the Black" <<< Season 5 >>> S5:E16 "Mind's Eye" ]

And, we keep on chugging along! This is another period episode, like Unusual Suspects, which takes us back to 1990 (and even further). Scully is, once again, nowhere to be seen, and Mulder has only a few scenes (in which he touches his hair way too much). He's a profiler, working with the behavioral sciences unit in the FBI, and this may be his first run-in with an X-File. A man who had been killing people by somehow extracting their insides without tearing the skin mentions the name "Mulder" with his dying breath. Mulder consults the retired FBI agent - a man named Arthur Dales - who worked on the killer's case during the McCarthy era. The rest of the episode details the young Agent Dales' encounter with the killer, who turns out to have been the subject of top secret government experiments.

We learn about the genesis of the X-Files - when a resourceful secretary starts filing unsolved cases under 'X' where there's plenty of room. We get to see Mulder's father working for the government when he was young (Dean Aylesworth does a great job of imitating Peter Donat's mannerisms, as seen in episodes like Colony/End Game, and Anasazi), as a reluctant agent of the conspiracy. We also get to witness a great example of bureaucrats using the Red Scare as an excuse to unscrupulously wield power over innocents. And we get to see a really creepy spider-crab thing that lives inside of people's bodies, only coming out to feed. It's a pretty clever and unique twist on a freak-of-the-week episode, with some minor mythology connections, but as a period episode, I don't think it's as good as, say, Unusual Suspects, or Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man.

Memorable quotes:

Arthur Dales: Do you know what a...X-File is?
Mulder: It's, uh...yeah, it's an unsolved case.
Arthur Dales: No, it's a case that's been designated unsolved.

Edward Skur: I'm a family man, for God sake!
Agent Michel: Well, you should have thought of that before you decided to betray your country, red.

Agent Dales: I don't interest myself in politics, Mr. Cohn.
Mr. Cohn: Everything is political, Agent Dales.

Agent Dales: X-File?
Secretary: Yes, unsolved cases. I file them under 'X'.
Agent Dales: Why don't you file them under 'U', for "unsolved"?
Secretary: That's what I did until I ran out of room. Plenty of room in the 'X's.

Agent Dales: It's called xenotransplantation. It's, uh...the grafting of another species into the human body. It's a procedure that Nazi doctors experimented with during the war.

Director: If we are to defeat the enemy, we must use their tools. We must go further. We must do those things which even our enemies would be ashamed to do. It is only through strength that we can make our enemies fear us, and thereby ensure our own survival.

Mulder: I can't believe my father threw in with these men. He let them dictate his conscience.
Arthur Dales: Aw, don't fool yourself. None of us are free to choose. I was ruined for my insubordination. You keep digging through the X-Files, and they'll bury you, too.