The X-Files - S7:E17 "all things"

[ S7:E16 "Chimera" <<< Season 7 >>> S7:E18 "Brand X" ]

You can't help getting the impression that, nearing the expected end of the series' run, the producers were handing out opportunities for anyone who wanted to put in a pass at writing or directing an episode before the party was over. David Duchovny got one last season (and he's got another one coming up), and William B. Davis penned the surprisingly good En Ami just a couple episodes back. Well, "all things" (I think it's supposed to be all lower-case, although I'm not sure why) is Gillian Anderson's turn at the helm - she both wrote and directed this episode.

And this is a hard episode to judge, because it doesn't really feel like an episode of The X-Files. I play to my strengths, and those strengths are horror, and a little bit of science-fiction. There's a reason I decided to review two hundred episodes of The X-Files, and not E.R., or The Young and the Restless, or any number of other TV shows out there. And I don't want to criticize this episode too harshly, because technically it's very proficient, and I have absolutely no grudge against Gillian Anderson. But then, I didn't rate David Duchovny's The Unnatural very favorably, did I? The problem, I guess, is that I just don't enjoy the story the episode is telling all that much. And I don't want to give off the impression that it's bad television - it's just not a very good episode of The X-Files.

For one thing, it feels too much like a soap opera - all romantic drama. And what with Mulder turning up in Scully's bed in the opener, it makes you wonder where Chris Carter was in all of this. Not that I don't appreciate the more straightforward approach to their relationship in this season - it's much better than the wishy-washiness of last season. But, along with the baseball scene at the end of The Unnatural, I kind of get the feeling that David and Gillian are taking advantage of this opportunity to write their characters into flirty situations, not necessarily for their characters' sakes, but for the actors' own sakes.* Honestly, who can blame them, right? But it still takes a little bit away from the show - at least as it was envisioned in its early years.

The episode proper (post title theme) opens on another uncomfortable office scene that seems to borrow too much from the worst parts of Never Again, emphasizing the dysfunction in Mulder and Scully's relationship, and really making Scully out to be a bit of a bitch. Which is a little surprising, given that Gillian Anderson wrote the episode - but I guess she must have fallen victim to the idea that it's more acceptable to poke fun at your character, like David Duchovny did in The Unnatural. I'm not sure I agree. In the show's best moments, Mulder and Scully are likable characters, even if to the point of idealistic fantasy. Anyway, Mulder's explaining his plan to preempt the formation of a crop circle in England, based on predictions made by a computer simulation analyzing crop circle patterns (a fascinating idea!), and Scully's completely bored, not listening, and totally absorbed in her salad (I've been there, Mulder). I would have liked to have seen an episode about Mulder's investigation of those crop circles, but alas, Scully vetoes her participation in the trip.

Instead, we get to follow her as she meets up with an old flame - literally an old man, Scully's former medical teacher, and lover - abed in the hospital with heart troubles. Now, I have nothing against a sympathetic treatment of taboo relationships, and it's true that some people have particular attractions and fixations, but at this stage it seems like the series has taken the incidental fact of Scully having had a fling with an older authority figure back in the first season's Lazarus, expanded it into a full-blown personality trait via some dialogue in Never Again, and have now risen it to the level of a cliché. I'm not going to spend much time complaining about it, because it's no big deal to me if an older man and a younger woman experience an attraction to one another (it's not exactly rare or hard to believe), but it does kinda add to the soap-opera-y flavor of this episode. (I think it's funny, though, that I had assumed that Maggie was the man's wife, and not his daughter - I mean, he obviously has a thing for younger women).

Anyway, meeting an old lover who still harbors feelings for her forces Scully to confront her own feelings, and re-examine her purpose and priorities in life - like, whether she made the right decision in joining the FBI instead of becoming a doctor. Normally, I'm all for existential crises, but not in this series, for some reason. But given the vitriol she spews (okay, I'm exaggerating) towards Mulder and his quest, she ends up choosing him in the end. But that's not all. After dabbling in Buddhism and reaching a kind of enlightenment in which she can sense healing chakras (did I mention that this series had jumped the shark?), Scully goes so far as to resort to sanctioning the use of alternative medicine (if only Melissa could see her now). Is she finally lowering her defenses and becoming a believer? Only time will tell whether this attitude "sticks" in later episodes (I wouldn't count on it).

Anyhow, it's a very artsy episode, with slow-motion designed to emphasize the importance of moments. The episode is very much a series of coincidences, in which everything happens for a reason, and was meant to be. (Yawn). It's all designed to ultimately reaffirm Scully's purpose, and make her realize how much she's changed, and also quite possibly - as a couple of key scenes would seem to suggest - her feelings for Mulder, so that they can finally take their relationship to "the next level" (depending on interpretation, I guess). But honestly, forget all that - the best thing about this whole episode is the fact that there's a floating UFO in Mulder's fish tank!

* According to Wikipedia, the bedroom scene wasn't originally Gillian Anderson's idea. However, my comment on the episode being about its actors more than its characters is no less accurate if it's true that alternative medicine and new-age spirituality (which are so out of tune with Scully's character) were actually Gillian Anderson's beliefs, that she wanted to tell a story about.

Memorable quotes:

Scully: Time passes in moments. Moments which, rushing past, define the path of a life, just as surely as they lead towards its end. How rarely do we stop to examine that path? To see the reasons why all things happen. To consider whether the path we take in life is our own making, or simply one into which we drift with eyes closed. Though what if we could stop, pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes? Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life, and seeing those choices, choose another path?

Scully: Szczesny did indeed drown, but not as the result of the inhalation of ectoplasm as you so vehemently suggested.
Mulder: What else could she possibly have drowned in?

(I love Mulder's crazy theories).

Scully: We're always running. We're always chasing the next big thing. I mean, why don't you ever just stay still?
Mulder: I wouldn't know what I'd be missing.

(Well, I'm glad to see that Mulder is still passionate about investigating paranormal phenomena, even now that the mystery of his sister's disappearance has been solved).

Colleen Azar: There is a greater intelligence in all things. Accidents - or...near accidents - often remind us that we need to keep our mind open to the lessons it gives. You may wanna slow down.

(Thank you, Colleen. If I had any doubt about what the themes of this episode were, I don't any more).

Colleen Azar: When we hold onto shame, guilt, and fear, it creates imbalance. It makes us forget who we are.

Maggie: Don't try to be reasonable with me. I am so sick of being reasonable.

(That's funny, because I haven't seen you being reasonable one bit this whole episode).

Scully: Maybe sometimes nothing happens for a reason, Mulder.
Mulder: Well, what is that supposed to mean?
Scully: Nothing.

The X-Files - S6:E8 "The Rain King"

[ S6:E7 "Terms of Endearment" <<< Season 6 >>> S6:E9 "S.R. 819" ]

This episode opens with a lot of promise. It's a traditional X-File about paranormal phenomena. It doesn't waste time trying to explain why Mulder and Scully are still investigating X-Files even though they've been forbidden to do so (at increasingly less-convincing risk to their jobs). And it has a cool premise - Mulder and Scully visit a town in Kansas with anomalous weather conditions, to investigate the possibility of the pathetic fallacy being more than just a fallacy. We haven't seen a person who could control the weather since season 3's D.P.O. - the human lightning rod. This proves once again (as I mentioned last season in my review of Schizogeny) that at this late stage of the series it takes the outside writers to capture the essence of what the X-Files used to be. Or at least that's how it appears at first. The episode starts out with a little tongue-in-cheek humor that's fun, but ends up placing way too much emphasis on being funny, and highlighting the romantic schmaltz of its premise (this is, in many ways, a Valentine's Day episode of The X-Files) for my liking. I feel a tangent brewing about the budding romance in this season, but I think I'll post that separately from this episode's review.

Memorable quotes:

Cindy: Don't you all need a warrant, or subpoena, or something like that?
Scully: We usually just say please.

Holman: A huge, high pressure system is the primary culprit. There's no credible evidence that suggests that Daryl, or any man, can be held accountable for our predicament.
Scully: Thank you. (To Mulder:) Can we go now?

(I love Scully's smugness here. She's much better when she's being playful rather than vindictive about saying "I told you so").

Mulder: He wants advice - dating advice.
Scully: Dating advice? From whom?
Mulder: Yours truly. (Silence). Hello? Hey, Scully. Scully, are you there?

Scully: Well, it seems to me...that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day, you look at the person, and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.

The X-Files - S4:E20 "Small Potatoes"

[ S4:E19 "Synchrony" <<< Season 4 >>> S4:E21 "Zero Sum" ]

Spoiler Warning: This is a humorous monster-of-the-week episode, but if you haven't seen it before, you might like to know that this review will contain some shipper-related spoilers. Proceed at your own discretion.

This is another fan-favorite episode. I can admit now that episodes like this one, and Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose (which I enjoyed a little more), are well-crafted and fun to watch, but it always struck me as odd when people would say things like "my favorite episode of The X-Files is Small Potatoes!" Like, what about One Breath? Or Anasazi? Or the season 4 finale that's coming up in a few more episodes that I'm really excited about? Those are episodes! (I'm betraying my mythology bias here, aren't I)? I guess a lot of people just like to laugh. To be honest, Small Potatoes never really stood out in my mind, although I do recall it as that episode where the freak-of-the-week assumes Mulder's form and asks Scully out on a date. Never underestimate the power of the shippers to influence community opinion of this series!

In another case ripped from the tabloids (remember Conduit?), this episode opens with a woman giving birth to a baby with a tail (she claims the father is from another planet); but the weirdest part is that the doctor's seen it before. When she explains to Mulder and Scully that the father was Luke Skywalker, that pretty much rules out alien abduction. The agents bandy about different theories - Scully likes date rape (wait, that came out wrong, I mean Scully prefers date rape - er, no, I mean, Scully prefers date rape as an explanation for how all these "monkey babies" are being born to married women who don't remember sleeping around), and Mulder latches onto a theory involving the sinister intentions of an insemination therapist, à la Eve - but ultimately they realize that what they're dealing with is a shape-shifting mutant. (Kudos on the nod to continuity when Mulder reminds Scully that they've encountered such a thing before).

If all of the great facial expressions leave you with any doubt as to what tone this episode is supposed to have, know that Darin Morgan himself stars as the freak, Eddie Van Blundht (apart from his notable writing credits in season 3, he also played the Flukeman in season 2's The Host). The episode, however, is written by Vince Gilligan, who has had a solid track record for monster-of-the-week episodes this season, between Unruhe, Paper Hearts, and his contribution to Leonard Betts. However, this episode definitely aims more for the sort of humor that Darin Morgan was known for. In fact, Small Potatoes even seems to recall some of the themes of Humbug, except that I don't think Eddie Van Blundht was proud of his abnormality - I think he just wanted to fit in, to be normal, or at least not an outcast.

It's certainly humorous to see David Duchovny playing Eddie Van Blundht trying to be Fox Mulder (although one wonders how Scully fell for it, given how well she knows him). There's definitely some commentary about the privileges that attractive people have here. Although I've always found Mulder's closing line compelling, in its reference to the fact that despite Mulder's charisma and good looks, he really does live the life of a loser, and all Eddie Van Blundht had to do was change his appearance to get Scully to totally open up to him. Giving Darin Morgan an opportunity - as Eddie Van Blundht - to criticize Mulder to his face in this highly meta episode feels more satisfying to me than in the past, when he used his pen to write the characters into making fun of themselves.

Although, that's pretty much what happens when Eddie Van Blundht assumes Mulder's form, and takes a trial run of his life. It's a perfect opportunity - even more so than in Darin Morgan's self-conscious episodes - for the writers to take a swing at some of the things a normal person might criticize or find ridiculous about the series' main characters, like the fact that Scully spends her weekends working (and thus doesn't have a life), or that Mulder doesn't have a bed in his apartment(!). Above all, it brings to the forefront the question shippers have been asking since episode one: how come Mulder and Scully - two smart, attractive singles who spend a lot of time together - have never hooked up? (It shouldn't be as hilarious as it is that Scully's eyes get so big when Mulder leans in for a kiss).

At the risk of venturing into tangent country, let me explore that question. Although they've become more familiar with themselves over the years they've been working together, and, certainly, their brief separation in the beginning of the second season indicated just how emotionally invested they are in each other (before the pilot, Mulder was content to work alone, but after Ascension, he could barely work a case without Scully), four years have gone by with nothing concrete to indicate a development of any kind of romantic relationship (and you'd think something would have happened by now, if that were the object). Granted, there were some displays of unprecedented tenderness in the recent episode Memento Mori, but that was fully appropriate to the seriousness of the very unexpected and tragic situation they have found themselves in. But does that mean they'll ever "get together"?

Mulder and Scully respect each other highly - that's for sure - and there's really no point at which they do anything that would preclude a romantic relationship from developing (which I'm sure helps to keep the shippers strung along), but you get the impression (and Chris Carter has stated as much in early interviews I've read) that it's just not in the cards for this series. And I don't mind. I'm not exactly what X-Philes call "noromo" - a fan who objects to any romantic development between the leads. It doesn't bother me when Mulder and Scully are tender towards one another; in fact, I think it's sweet. But I'm satisfied with the relationship they do have, and I think it's actually stronger and more satisfying than a romantic relationship would be.

You know, now that I come to think of it, Mulder and Scully could, potentially, be the ideal model of an asexual/aromantic relationship. Although how that differs from a platonic relationship, I'm not sure I can say. It seems as though they are "promised" to each other, they just don't have any need to show it in a romantic or sexual way. Personally, I relate more to Mulder and Scully as passionate, career-minded investigators, than the social butterflies they resemble in the infamous "date scene" in this episode. I'm surprised fans like it so much, considering that I imagine this series attracts a lot of on-the-fringe geeks. Then again, maybe it's because they've spent a lot of time (as even I have) wishing - like Eddie Van Blundht - they were the social butterflies they get to see their impossibly attractive on-screen surrogates behave like in this episode.

Memorable quotes:

Mulder: But, the baby's father is an alien?
Amanda Nelligan: No, no, I didn't say he was an alien, I said he was from another planet.
Mulder: (confused)
Amanda Nelligan: His name is Luke Skywalker. He's what's known as a Jedi knight.
(uncomfortable silence)
Scully: Did he have a lightsaber?

Scully: I think you're right, Mulder.

(Wow, that's rare!)

Eddie Van Blundht: The 'h' is silent.

Scully: Looking like someone else, Mulder, and being someone else are completely different things.
Mulder: Well, maybe it's not, I mean, everybody else around you would treat you like you were somebody else. I mean, ultimately, maybe it's other people's reactions to us that make us who we are.

(Interesting thought, Mulder, but looking like Jimi Hendrix wouldn't give me the ability to play like Jimi Hendrix, and I don't think people would react the same way to Jimi Hendrix if he couldn't play the way he could. He would still be Jimi Hendrix, perhaps, but "Jimi Hendrix" wouldn't be the same person to everyone else anymore).

Edward Van Blundht, Sr.: I told him it was a mistake. I said, "son, Ya ain't much to look at. Ya h'ain't no athlete. And ya sure the hell ain't no Einstein. But at least ya got that tail. Otherwise, you're just small potatahs."

Eddie Van Blundht (to Mulder): You're a damn good-lookin' man.

Skinner: Which one of you wrote this?
Mulder: I did, sir.
Skinner: You spelled "Federal Bureau of Investigation" wrong.
Mulder: It was a typo.
Skinner: Twice.

Eddie Van Blundht (to Mulder): I was born a loser, but...you're one by choice.

Scully: I don't imagine you need to be told this, Mulder, but...you're not a loser.
Mulder: Yeah, but I'm no Eddie Van Blundht, either. Am I?

The X-Files - S4:E13 "Never Again"

[ S4:E12 "Leonard Betts" <<< Season 4 >>> S4:E14 "Memento Mori" ]

In a bout of depression, a reluctant divorcé in Philadelphia gets a tattoo, then starts to hallucinate that it's talking to him, mocking him (featuring Jodie Foster's voice!), making him paranoid to a homicidal extent. It's a bit of a hokey premise - one that you might expect more from the first season. Meanwhile, the bureau is forcing Mulder to take a vacation against his will (since he hasn't taken a day off in four years - it's funny how much he hates the idea of taking a vacation, and yet it's so totally in his character), and Scully is getting sullen and introspective about the course of her life. In Mulder's absence, she reluctantly follows up on some of his leads, but soon bumps into the divorcé and fancies herself a little fling. They have a few drinks at the bar, Scully talks about her daddy issues, and then gets a tattoo.

Yeah, I know. It's a credit to the writers that, when you're watching it, it doesn't seem as out there as it sounds, in the context of the episode - but it's still pretty weird. And if you think this whole romance business is a little flippant after the revelation at the end of the last episode, it's because these episodes were aired out of production order, so that Leonard Betts could be played after the Superbowl, when audiences would be at their peak. On the other hand, Scully's soul-searching may make more sense in light of said revelation, as she is suitably melancholic in this episode.

The quarrelling between Mulder and Scully is uncomfortable to watch, though. I don't want to be unfair - they've worked together for four years, and even between the best of friends (or closest of partners), sometimes the relationship gets strained. But it's still not fun to watch. Especially seeing Scully get disillusioned with her work on the X-Files. It's the kind of attitude you would expect to precede a resignation (or reassignment), and the thought of Scully not being a part of the X-Files is, frankly, depressing. I prefer to see her being at turns frustrated, but at turns fascinated with the work, like she was when she was first brought on to the project.

It's also interesting that even though the show doesn't put Mulder and Scully together in a romantic relationship - and I don't think I'd even want to see them that way - it still never feels quite right when they're split up, and either of them starts to pursue an outside romantic interest. I guess it's not fair to them, but it just doesn't feel right. I wouldn't want to discourage the writers from exploring new ground, and keep them trapped within what they might see as a decaying formula, but all I can say is that the kind of interactions we see in this episode are not very fun to watch. It would seem that despite their pedigree on this show, Morgan & Wong's episodes are either hit or miss - although that's not entirely new to this season, as some of the less esteemed episodes they contributed to include Shadows, Blood, and the much-maligned 3.

Memorable quotes:

Mulder: I made a last ditch effort to get out of it, but the bureau is holding fast to its federal employees vacation policy. I haven't taken a day off in four years, so either I take a week vacation now, or they start not paying me for eight weeks' vacation time. I don't like it, but I gotta do it; I gotta pay the rent; I gotta eat.

Scully: I feel like I've lost sight of myself, Mulder. It's hard to see, let alone find, in the darkness of covert locations. I mean, I wish I could say that we're going in circles, but we're not, we're going in an endless line. Two steps forwards, and three steps back. While my own life is...standing still.

Comrade Svo: I tell him, everyone gets tattoo they deserve. Beautiful, cheap, thought over, impulse. Tattoo reflect on body what lies in person's soul.

Scully: So what makes this place a good place to go when you're feeling down?
Ed Jerse: Ah, it's kinda - everyone here looks like their problems are worse than mine. Makes me feel good about myself.
Scully: Yeah, well, you can't tell what's going on in somebody's head just by looking at them. I mean, they're probably thinking that we're the ones that are screwed up.
Ed Jerse: Are we?
Scully: Who knows.

Mulder: Congratulations for making a personal appearance in the X-Files for the second time. It's a world's record.

After (2012)

After a horrible bus crash following a cringeworthy meeting between two strangers (who happen to live down the street from each other, and grew up together), Freddy and Ana (that's "Awna", not "Anna") wake up to find themselves alone in a town that appears to be completely abandoned. (Note: I probably would have enjoyed this scene more if it weren't for the fact that it is extremely derivative of 28 Days Later, even down to the music - which, rather than being a welcome homage, ended up just being really distracting). They come across a surreal wall of black smoke that is reminiscent of "The Nothing" from The Neverending Story (great idea!). Unfortunately for them, it's less of an advancing stormfront than it is the eye of a hurricane, and it's closing in around them, little by little.

You kinda get the feeling that this could have been a really cool movie in the hands of professionals. There are some nice touches, like when a character remarks that it's getting dark early, on account of the proximity of the wall of smoke, or when they use a scientific approach in determining how long it will take to absorb the city. But then there are some clichés, too, like when the car won't start once they realize the wall of smoke is moving. Surely, a competent writer could think up some other, more plausible mechanism by which to introduce suspense; or, at the very least, establish that the car is unreliable prior to this scene - indicating that the smoke affects the battery after the fact doesn't really cut it. And are we really supposed to believe that Freddy can build pipe bombs just because he was "kind of a pyro in high school"?

To say more about the movie involves spoiling some of its surprises, so be warned. I really like the idea of fantasy elements from a person's imagination coming to life - and the explanation behind this movie's strange setup certainly makes that a plausible mechanism. I also like the idea of having to confront or overcome traumas that have lain dormant in one's sub- or semi-conscious mind - that's very Silent Hill-esque. Albeit, the whole karma angle is kind of hokey. Madison Lintz (fresh off of The Walking Dead in this role) is adorable as the younger version of Ana, even though you have to wonder how she went from a blonde kid to a raven-haired adult. It's not as though hair dye doesn't exist, but it's a bit of a disconnect when you're trying to establish one character as the younger version of another, and they don't even look superficially similar.

The special effects are a little iffy, but not a complete washout. (Speaking of which, this movie is filmed mostly in desaturated hues, which suits the story and themes, but gets kind of dull after awhile). The wall of black smoke looks great, but once the characters go into it, it looks an awful lot like FMV from a PC game from the '90s. Then you have the monster - little more than a growling chain in its first appearance, although you get to see more of it later - which sounds like it's going to be huge, but then turns out to be just the size of a man. The design is plenty cool enough, but when it moves around, it does tend to look like bad CG. Finally, the movie kind of misses the boat of its cool premise by emphasizing the romance at its center in the end (not really believing it). Ultimately, this is a movie with some really great ideas, but only mediocre execution.

Monsters (2010)

Monsters should have been a better movie. It starts with a great premise - something between The War of the Worlds and District 9. Years after an extraterrestrial invasion claims a strip of land separating the United States from Mexico, two strangers have to hotfoot it through the infected zone to get home. The cinematography is beautiful - featuring many picturesque landscapes of untouched Mexican jungle (just south of the U.S. border), and also a fair share of post-apocalyptic panoramas of destroyed civilization. The creature effects are similarly beautiful - showcasing giant, floating, luminescent octopodes.

Monsters is a little hard to pin down. It's not, in fact, a found footage film, but - technically, and thematically - it feels very much like one. Yet the focus is really not on surviving the monsters. The way the film is put together, you get the feeling that the most poignant moments are the ones between the two main characters, which makes the movie feel more like a depressing romance than a horror. But the characters are utterly unlikable people, with not very inspiring dialogue, so it's very hard to follow the romantic developments or even really care about them much at all.

Then there's the photojournalism theme. The main character is a photojournalist who makes a living shooting tragedy. There are some comments in the movie that seem to cast aspersions on courting disaster for a paycheck, and when things get their most exciting, the photojournalist conspicuously puts his camera way, despite being the last person in the world (being a photojournalist) who would cave to sensationalist drudge of that sort (obviously it's to court the female, because not shooting a dead little girl that would earn you $50,000 is going to win the heart of the girl you so callously replaced with a hooker the drunken night before when she wouldn't cave to your insensitive hints that you wanted to sleep with her)...

But what this movie avoids are the more difficult questions about why these things make good stories, and why people who follow them are actually justified in what they do. By the time the credits roll, you're left feeling like maybe the "monsters" are just a metaphor for something, but it's not at all clear as to what that is. I'm certainly not against unconventional narrative approaches - like using an extraterrestrial invasion to tell a love story - but here it comes off in the end feeling very underwhelming.

Red Riding Hood (2011)

Red Riding Hood is, basically, The Little Red Riding Hood adapted for the Twilight generation. It's not a bad movie, but it's not a terribly good movie either. As a fantasy, it's not very convincing. As a drama, it's not very believable. It's too smooth to be very scary, although it works decently as a thriller. But the CG is distractingly obvious - horror requires grit and substance.

The film works best as a mystery - indeed, I was compelled to continue watching largely to find out who turns out to be the wolf. I don't know that it's a good mystery, because though there were many legitimate candidates for wolfhood (Red Riding Hood not excluded, with the woodsman ironically being the most visibly suggestive candidate), I wasn't invested enough in the fantasy world to care about following all the clues and making note of the 'rules' (assuming they're consistent), so I don't know whether it's actually intelligent or just lazy. But it is a mystery that wants solving, even if the paranoid atmosphere recalls much better films that have gone the "killer among us" route.

However, in spite of how it turns out, I'd be just as willing to believe that Father Solomon was running a racket, tricking villages into submission by introducing werewolves that only he knows how to effectively fight. I guess that shows you how unconvincing the characters were, that I'd just as soon believe them to be something else, rather than what the script apparently intends. I find it amusing in a not necessarily constructive manner that this is not the first film in which Gary Oldman has played a character who fights werewolves (harking back to Sirius Black in The Prisoner of Azkaban).

If not effective, it is a pretty film, helped in no small part by the luscious features of Amanda Seyfried as not-so-little Red herself. Although she is gorgeous, and has a more childlike demeanor than most women her age, I couldn't help noticing that she's not as young as her character is portrayed. Though she's not supposed to be a child, as she is in the prologue, when the narration jumps ten years into the future, it looks more like twenty years have passed. And I have a hard time believing that in this [admittedly make-believe] pre-modern era, one's parents would wait until a girl is twenty-five to arrange her marriage, and that, being as beautiful as she evidently is, noone else would have made arrangements of their own long before that time.

Now, I have no problem with an 'adult' telling of Red Riding Hood (actually, the original version is said to have been pretty gruesome already), but I've seen it done better before; and if you're going to make it 'adult', you might as well make it gritty. Red Riding Hood is sensual and romantic, but it's not sexy. It's mysterious and thrilling, but it's not really frightening. And most unfortunate of all, it tends to drag in the way that you feel like somebody had the idea to put their own spin on the story, but it's something that would have been better accomplished in a shorter format (or else with a better script) - here, the less-than-satisfying filling brings down those elements of the story that might actually be clever and/or original.

Double Dakota Feature: Sweet Home Alabama (2002) & Uptown Girls (2003)

It's funny, I remember seeing the trailers for Sweet Home Alabama when it came out, but I never saw the movie. Personally, I think that song is overrated. Everybody loves it, but you hear it so much, and it's truly one of Lynyrd Skynyrd's poppier songs. I like a lot of their music, but not so much that song, although it's inevitably become the de facto rock anthem for Alabama.

As for the movie itself, it's a kind of annoying story about an upcoming fashion designer in New York City who has to head home and confront her rural roots after her boyfriend (the mayor's son) pops the question. I say annoying because there's this whole conflict between city manners and country ways - and not to disparage either one, but the lovely Reese Witherspoon (who plays the lead) gets caught in between and can't seem to decide between them, when it feels like the answer should be simple. But I guess those complications are what make the drama, and I'll admit, I was taken in by the romance that influences the final decision (even if it's pretty cheesy).

Dakota's role in this film is minuscule. She plays the 10 year old version of Reese's character, and only features for a couple minutes at the very beginning of the film. But, it's a romantic scene that involves a kiss during a lightning storm!

I wasn't sure if I'd like a movie titled Uptown Girls. Not because I have anything against uptown girls, but every time I read that title, the song gets stuck in my head - and it's not really my type of music. But it turned out to be pretty good. The charismatic Brittany Murphy plays the grown daughter of a rock star, living like a modern day urban princess, until her financial sponsor skips town, and she has to learn to fend for herself. She gets a job looking after a severely uptight, germophobic child played by Dakota Fanning. The child, nicknamed Ray (short for Lorraine), lacking much parental affection, has adopted an unusually adult demeanor, whereas the rock star's daughter, Molly, herself still behaves like a child. The two don't get along at first, but they have a lot to teach one another.

I hate to admit that, this time, Dakota's character crosses the line from adorably precocious to downright annoying, but then, that's her character. She's still adorable, though, and I love her sarcasm and cynicism. And Brittany just lights up the screen. I'd have to say these two actresses really make the film, which turns out to be an amusing (and a little bit touching) dramedy. But the interaction between these two characters is where it shines. And the film culminates in a surreal theater performance that involves a squad of tiny ballerinas carrying electric guitars. Yeah. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it myself.

"Why are you buttering my plastic scone?"

The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1988)

Note: This review was originally posted on a message board forum. I am reposting it here for archival purposes. It has been backdated to the date of its original posting.

I first became aware of The Unbearable Lightness of Being (originally a novel) from a group on Flickr, believe it or not. At the time I discovered it, it was one of the highest quality nude art groups I've come across, with many of the photos submitted to the group possessing a sort of ethereal quality. Recently, they've cracked down on the theme, redefining the rules, to deemphasize the nudity and refocus on the abstract quality described by the title. For better or worse.

Anyhow, I gave the film a watch, as I am sure you've discerned by the existence of this post. It's a pretty long film, getting up close to three hours, but it doesn't really seem to drag much, which is good. The story, essentially, is about a young doctor in Prague who enjoys having illicit affairs with various women, and the one woman he meets and falls in love with, who is interested only in monogamy. It's a story of romance, but it's also a story about life, the ups and the downs, about finding happiness, and there are some politics involved, by the nature of the setting - at one point (forgive me if I get the details wrong, this topic isn't my forté) the Russians (I think) invade and our characters are forced into exile, only to return later to what seems to be something of a police state. The point is, it's kind of grim, with that sort of environment of war and revolution, and civil unrest. But that's just one aspect of the story. By the way, the woman I above mentioned is a photographer, and there's a pretty cool scene where she gets naked with a model and takes some pictures.

Well, it was an entertaining story, and there were certainly sad parts and happy parts and exciting parts and devastating parts. The photographer woman, Tereza, is endearing, and the doctor, Tomas, has quite the distinctive hawk-eye, and is quite believable as a seductor. I feel like the film in some parts may have touched on the nature of the concept at hand - the unbearable lightness of being - but for such a profound abstract concept, I was kind of expecting something a little bit more...transcendental. Of course, fans of the novel cite the film as an imperfect adaptation, which might well be the case. It might be worth a read someday. Even so, I did enjoy the film, and the political climate distinguishes it from other romantic dramas you might see.

Romance (1999)

Note: This review was originally posted on a message board forum. I am reposting it here for archival purposes. It has been backdated to the date of its original posting.

I've been trying to remember what it was that made this movie seem interesting enough for me to watch it, but whatever it was, it has escaped me. Romance is sort of a feminist-ish French chick flick about sex. I don't mind a good chick flick, and I certainly have no problem with French cinema, and feminism - well, it can be good or bad depending on interpretation. I think one of the main strikes against this film, for me, is that all of the fairly explicit sex is some of the least erotic cinema sex I've ever seen. And I think that may be part of the point, but still...

Caroline Ducey in the lead role is nice to look at - she has a sweet and subtle beauty that's undeniable but not overbearing, plus the various expressions and mannerisms she employs are very seductive in an innocent kind of way. She plays a young woman in a sexless relationship with a man she loves, but is - from what I can tell - either completely impotent, or completely asexual. Naturally, the woman has to search elsewhere for the impersonal connections she needs to satisfy her lustful desires.

Much of the film consists of these sorts of encounters, though as I've said before, the sex is very un-erotic. However, the more important focus seems to be on the philosophies and the emotions of the lead as she recounts them in narration. And there are certainly some interesting philosophical ruminations on love and sex and romance and all that. Without going into specifics, there are some pretty interesting ideas in there, but at the end, I can't help feeling maybe it would have been better as a book rather than a film? Then again, maybe I'm just bitter about the live childbirth scenes...in closeup... There's nothing less sexy than childbirth...

Actually, I think that irony's also part of whatever point the director Catherine Breillat is trying to put across. Interesting, sure, but the film itself leaves me feeling somewhat unsatisfied after watching it...

Secretary (2002)

Note: This review was originally posted on a message board forum. I am reposting it here for archival purposes. It has been backdated to the date of its original posting.

Secretary is an at times humourous romantic drama involving a dominant/submissive relationship which is much more obvious, and also much more physical, than that of 9 1/2 Weeks. Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader both give great, convincing performances in the lead roles.

Maggie's character, Lee, starts off just having been released from some sort of mental institution or hospital. She's innocent, quirky, naive, and has a masochistic streak that involves cutting herself. She takes pleasure in becoming a secretary for a rather strict lawyer, Mr. Grey. The two were quite clearly made for each other, but considering the nature of their desires, it takes some time and drama for them to realize, understand, and come to terms with what they want from each other - and that it's okay.

This is an enjoyable film. It's very entertaining, and the subject matter makes it a bit exotic and perhaps even educational to some degree. But at its heart it's just a good old-fashioned love story. I'd have to say this was the best Maggie Gyllenhaal performance I have yet to see. I think I can happily recommend this film, even to those not especially interested in this particular kink, provided the very idea of it doesn't completely turn you off, of course.

Kissed (1996)

Note: This review was originally posted on a message board forum. I am reposting it here for archival purposes. It has been backdated to the date of its original posting.

Kissed is such a beautiful film. And Molly Parker, in the lead role, is so beautiful. I knew I was gonna like this film even before I watched it, based on the premise alone. And it did not disappoint. Of course, now that I've said that, I've put myself in something of an uncomfortable position now that I have to tell you what the film is about...

Kissed is about one woman's profound, romantic obsession with death. In childhood, she would sneak out and perform secret solitary rituals, dancing around fresh graves she dug for dead animals - birds, and mice, and whatnot - while reveling in the sensations of death (especially smell and touch, and sometimes even taste). When her one friend freaks out on her she discovers the true abnormality of her feelings. She takes a job at a funeral home to get ever closer to death, and goes to school to study embalming. She meets a fascinated young man (living), who she confesses her secret to, but finds that he can't satisfy her emotionally - or physically - the way corpses do. The relationship is bound to end in tragedy.

The reason I was so excited about this film is not because it deals with the topic of necrophilia, something I can honestly say grosses me out as much as the next guy, but because I had heard that it was a very tasteful and beautiful depiction of such an unusual and controversial topic. Being no stranger to alternative lifestyles myself, the idea of a film that can touch on such a topic in a respectful and artistic way, without resorting to either immature humor or exaggerated grossout, is very attractive to me indeed. And Kissed is a most artistic, beautiful, engaging, emotionally complex film.

I've already mentioned that Molly Parker is beautiful, but she's also convincing, and engrossing. Amazing performance. Even though I can't relate to the character's preoccupation with death, I can very much relate to her secret rituals, and her forbidden desires. And the scene where she confesses to the guy she gets involved with, only going on a hunch that he will be able to understand her...nerve-racking, and so completely convincing. And liberating. I really felt like I was in her place, I could feel all the emotions the character must be feeling in that instant. And the scene where she mounts the corpse - very tastefully done, very beautiful, and by god, I do believe it's the most erotic corpse-fucking scene I will ever see in my life. And trust me, I never thought I would ever be in a position to write a sentence like that...

The movie is relatively short, at under an hour and a half. I felt like it could have gone on, and I certainly wouldn't have minded being under the enchantment of the film for a bit longer. But, as it is, it's a great little, tragic, unusual love story. I recommend it.

9 1/2 Weeks (1986)

Note: This review was originally posted on a message board forum. I am reposting it here for archival purposes. It has been backdated to the date of its original posting.

9 1/2 Weeks, starring Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke, is an emotionally intense story of a short-term romantic relationship between two complete strangers. Comparisons to Last Tango In Paris are not out of place, but one would be wise not to draw too many parallels. This film is characterized by Adrian Lyne's dreamy urban style (Lyne also directed a little film called Jacob's Ladder, which just happens to be one of my personal all-time cinema favorites), and is also, unfortunately, very dated as an eighties film, particularly in terms of fashion. But that's something you can either get over, or not.

I have to admit I was very confused for a large portion of the film. There is a lot of unspoken subtext between the two lovers, and it's easy to miss out on their motivations, especially if you're not thinking of their relationship in a D/s context. And when you think of a D/s relationship, I'm sure all sorts of visual depictions of fetishism pass through your mind, but in the movie, it's heavily concentrated on the emotional aspect. And it's a gentle sort of domination. Such that, it's actually quite easy to forget that their relationship is anything but perfectly normal, except that doing so leaves you a bit confused at some points, as I was.

But man, Adrian Lyne's style really has an effect on you, and the emotions are pretty intense - in like a slow and gentle, but heavy, kind of way. I think the movie would benefit from repeat viewing, to catch some of the nuances of the emotional dynamic. Were I so inclined. The love scenes were kind of hit and miss for me. Foodplay? Not so much. Sex in a sewer alley? Hell yes!

And yeah, I know, that last one sounds kind of disgusting, but it was pretty hot, actually.

Last Tango In Paris (1972)

Note: This review was originally posted on a message board forum. I am reposting it here for archival purposes. It has been backdated to the date of its original posting.

Last Tango In Paris is a Bernardo Bertolucci classic, which received considerable controversy due to its depictions of "rough" sex. However, the film is notable in that, despite receiving an X rating (the then-equivalent of today's NC-17), it received an Oscar nomination (or two).

I commend Bernardo Bertolucci's lack of restraint in tackling issues of sexuality in his films (The Dreamers being a more recent example), in a more straightforward way compared to Hollywood, but not with the vulgar and soulless approach that pornography uses. Last Tango In Paris is a beautiful film, and its highlight is the intense character study, pulled off magnificently by Marlon Brando in the lead role. The subject of the film is the relationship between two complete strangers who bump into each other on a Paris street, and proceed to have a completely anonymous sexual relationship. It sounds pretty basic, I know, but the film is not just an excuse for the sex. The story is about these two people, who they are, and it explores the nature of their anonymous relationship - asking questions like, why is it so fulfilling to them?

The film itself is admittedly slow, there's not really much in the way of action, but that's just the type of film it is. There's some mystery in it that I found very intriguing - in the beginning these two characters are complete strangers, not just to each other, but to the viewer as well. And so, as you move through the film, these pieces of identity are thrown at you, and you have to piece together just who these people are, their motivations, etc. And it's pretty tragic, the details of this man's life.

Definitely an interesting film, but I felt it was lacking something, to really attach myself to it. And I think that something was the fact that, despite how intriguing Marlon Brando's character was, and even how cute the girl in the equation was, their relationship kind of confused me. I think I can generally understand the appeal of the anonymity of the whole situation, but the sex scenes were some of the least erotic I've ever seen - I mean, one of them, the infamous butter scene, was literally anal rape (it's not explicit, but it is uncomfortable). I mean, I guess I can't really understand why the girl kept coming back, and how she could have fallen for him...

Anyway, the movie ends kind of tragically, and hell, the character study was fascinating, and it's worth a watch for Marlon Brando's performance alone, I think. Of the Bertolucci films I've seen so far, though, I enjoyed The Dreamers much more.

The Fountain (2006)

Note: This review was originally posted on Bridge To Better Days. I am reposting it here for archival purposes. It has been backdated to the date of its original posting.

The Fountain was among the DVDs I got for Christmas. I remember noticing it when it originally came out. It looked interesting, but I didn't get around to seeing it. Well, now I have. I have to admit, it was a fascinating movie, although it went in a bit of a different direction than I was hoping. I guess you could say I was expecting more fantasy and less drama. But it was still a great tale. With lots to interpret.

I guess the core of the story is what takes place in present time. A doctor on the verge of discovering a medicinal elixir of life, extracted from a tree in Central America, is racing against time while the love of his life is dying of cancer. She in turn is writing a story about the Tree of Life, related to Spanish/Mayan history. Part of that mythology involves the Mayan underworld, named after a dying star observed in the heavens. A star that the main character is traveling toward, in a bubble-like spaceship with a dying tree, presumably far into the future. These three timelines tradeoff as the story unfolds, leaving you to guess just exactly how they fit together.

I guess one interpretation would be that the past scenes are merely an embodiment of the story, and the future scenes part of the doctor's madness - leaving us with just the present. But, if we want to be a little more adventurous, we could conjecture that the doctor does in reality discover the secret to immortality and that the future scenes actually happen as is. But is there an interpretation where the past scenes could be real as well? Because that's what I was hoping for - a tale about two lovers who exist through many ages, from the past through the present and on to the future. But considering what happens when the conquistador in the past finds the Tree of Life, it doesn't seem too reasonable.

Still, the beauty of the story is the sheer imagination of it and the way it was filmed, and how the different timelines interact with one another to create a rich tapestry of storytelling. That, and the question of immortality that is inevitably brought up. Is death just a disease, that needs to be cured? Or is death the road to awe? It's a tough question that's been asked as long as man has been around, I imagine. And I don't think the answer is as easy as some people pretend. Life and death both serve a purpose, and neither one is purely good, or bad. I don't think there is an ultimate answer as to whether or not death should have a place in life. But it does have that place, and there is very little we can do about it - and this fact, I believe, will continue to inspire people to fight against it. You have to be careful, though - there is a balance to be found between vying for eternal life and accepting the simple fact of death. If we get too caught up on living forever, we make death all the harder to bear. And I think that's one of the messages that The Fountain carries - the need to accept death.

My Favorite Movies

Note: This review was originally posted on Bridge To Better Days. I am reposting it here for archival purposes. It has been backdated to the date of its original posting.

(More recent additions can be found at the end of the list)

I love watching movies. Maybe it's not as intellectual or high-brow as reading a book, but it's easier because you can put in a two-hour commitment and then you know you'll be finished. Plus, it's just less effort. Anyhow, my favorite genre is horror, but I enjoy drama, fantasy, and sci-fi flicks quite a bit as well. For those that know me, there may or may not be any surprises in this list, but here is generally what I consider to be my favorite movies of all time (not necessarily in any particular order):

Jacob's Ladder (1990)

Strangely, it seems that most of my favorite movies are ones that I inadvertently caught on TV unexpectedly once or more times, and slowly grew on me over time. The first time I saw Jacob's Ladder was in the month of October, during one of the major channels' horror showcases. I don't remember what year it was, but it can't have been later than 2000, and it wasn't more than a couple years earlier than that. I only caught part of the movie, so I had even less of an idea what was actually going on, but that didn't dull its effect on me. I specifically remember the dance-party scene, with the bloody snapping dog skull and the grind-beast. Boy, that totally blew my mind, that a movie could have such horrifying and yet realistic depictions of demonic beings, in a sophisticated manner, where the filming style and pacing of the story add a very disjointed and psychological aspect to the imagery. And then the story itself was so sublimely emotional, and the film was shot in a very careful manner, that you could jump between a confusing scene where you don't quite know what's going on as horrific images pass by left and right, and then enter a serenely peaceful scene that's relaxing yet carries a sad sense that things are not going so well and that hell could break loose again at any time. I'm not absolutely certain, but I believe this may have been the movie that ignited my deep fascination with the theme of "the journey to the afterlife".


Dead Man (1995)

I was attracted to this movie for Neil Young's score alone, but the film managed to win me over completely. The subject matter of journeying into the afterlife parallels the theme of Jacob's Ladder, but deals with it in a distinctly unique, and somewhat more abstract and symbolic, manner. In case I haven't made it clear, the soundtrack is downright spectacular. Some of Young's most haunting soundscapes, not tied down to the usual barriers of "words" and "songs". In fact, the soundtrack is almost like another character in the movie, lurking in the background, waiting to jump out and accentuate certain sections here and there. Johnny Depp plays an excellent confused accidental-outlaw, who gradually comes to accept as fact the riddles Nobody offers him (Nobody is his enigmatic Indian guide), confusing him for the poet William Blake, with which Depp's character shares a name. The story is bizarre, and moves along slowly, but the atmosphere is consuming. Though it appears to be a western on the surface, Dead Man is really far from the genre stereotype. This movie (in addition to Blow) turned me into a Johnny Depp fan. Anyone who would play the lead role in a film this obviously eccentric, and pull it off so well, deserves my respect and admiration.


Midnight Express (1978)

This is another movie I first saw on TV. My dad was watching it, and he deserves the honor of having introduced it to me. I caught the beginning of the movie over dinner, knowing nothing of what I was in for. William Hayes (the movie is based on the real life story of William Hayes) gets busted in a foreign country for trying to smuggle drugs over the border. He gets tossed into a rather frightening Turkish prison, and all his attempts to legally extricate himself from the situation get quashed by a political system that wishes to make an example of Hayes, to discourage smuggling. The sheer terror of being stuck in a foreign prison, so far from anything that is familiar, with people that don't even speak your language, and above all that, being a victim of some injustice your family and your country can do nothing about, is terrifying indeed. I was gripped by the movie and continued to watch the rest of it in my room. The physical and psychological torture that William Hayes endures, as he faces thirty years in a dirty foreign prison for a petty crime, and the painful journey he makes to try to escape from it beyond the unjust 'rules of the game' are incredibly intense and emotionally powerful. This is a story of true struggle, against the unfair odds that life sometimes throws upon us, and the ultimate lengths to which we must go if we are to have any hope for the future. An absolutely outstanding story, executed to perfection in this film adaptation. To think that it is based on a true story is terrifying, indeed.


The Passion Of Darkly Noon (1995)

Yet another movie that I caught on TV first. I saw this one a long time ago, then forgot about it for awhile, before remembering it once again and bringing it back to the forefront of my knowledge. This is truly a bizarre tale, but beautiful in so many ways. At times it seems like something that could have really happened, other times it feels like a fairy tale. The underlying theme, as indicated by the title, is passion, and the power it has to consume our mortal souls. Ashley Judd plays a convincing Callie (Kali?), part lonely wood nymph, part evil seductress. Brendan Fraser ropes in a mesmerizing performance as the innocent Darkly Noon, raised strictly by his ultra-religious parents, whom he is separated from by a fire which precedes the opening of the story. Now lost and alone in the middle of an unfamiliar forest, he is befriended by the beautiful Callie, for which he begins having feelings he doesn't quite know how to handle. An old woman who lives elsewhere in the forest provides a darker characterization of Callie, leaving the viewer uncertain of her true nature or intentions. Naturally, when Callie's mute lover returns from a long voyage, Darkly's jealousy gets the most of him, and he seems to summon up the rage of the devil himself just before an incredible climax. The plot aside, it is the beautifully enchanting and surreal atmosphere of the film, juxtaposed against the all-too-normal scenes, that really gives this film a unique and engrossing flavor. The scene with the floating circus shoe is just downright brilliant. But not only because it's random. If that were the case, I'd have much less respect for it. But because it has such a normal, rational explanation, yet the coincidence of its appearance yields something very profound, just makes it so magical for me. Fantastic all around.


Lost And Delirious (2001)

Unfortunately, this film doesn't get exactly the kind of attention it deserves, being a love story set in an all-girls dormitory, but make no bones about it - this film is modern Shakespeare. It is at times endearing, watching these young girls shedding their innocence, and at times heartbreaking, watching them crack under the pressures and realities of life. Watching this film had a profound effect on me, because I was simultaneously in awe of its beauty, and depressed at its inevitable conclusion. Is there anything in life more powerful, more important, than love? Can love truly destroy all barriers? And is love even more important than life itself? How do you deal with life when it takes away from you the one thing that truly matters? Do you try to move on, and conform to the role that's been laid out for you, or are you resolved to remain free and enlightened for eternity, at the ultimate cost? "Once you're up there at the top, looking down on everyone else, you're there forever, because if you move, you fall."


School of Rock (2003)

Originally, I didn't give this film much attention, because I figured a movie about kids starting a rock band would naturally be a little low-brow for me. I was wrong. And even though Jack Black isn't really my kind of comedian (not that I'm really into comedy much, anyway), I think he was perfect in this role. The philosophy of the movie is spot on, about the power and importance of music in life, and what it means to rock out. And I have to say, the kids are adorable, and the jokes are actually damn funny. This is one of those movies that I agree with on many levels, but don't really have to think about to enjoy it. I can just sit back and watch it over and over again and love every minute of it. I'm really not that kind of a movie-watcher, but this one is good enough to be an exception! That should explain enough.


John Carpenter's The Thing (1982)

I guess this means that I can't ever say that remakes are terrible based on principle alone! But this one does it right, by going back to the source material and taking advantage of what the previous effort ignored. The result is a fantastic story with a very paranoid and claustrophobic atmosphere. Set in a research base out in the middle of Antarctica, a team of scientists becomes the target of an extraterrestrial lifeform, freed from the ice, which can disguise itself like a chameleon by assimilating the cells of its victims and morphing into an exact biological duplicate. This is an excellent premise, as the story focuses on the paranoia experienced by the scientists, who have no idea which one is the alien, hiding behind a familiar face, waiting for the right moment to strike. And before you start thinking that this is just a ploy not to have to design any complicated monster fx, the truth is that this movie has some of the most spectacular special effects in any movie I've ever seen. Not all of it is exactly believable, but it's convincing within context, and the effects themselves are very well-done and so over the top that it can't help but give you nightmares. The problem with most monster movies is that they either don't show enough of the monster, or they do and it looks terrible (either it looks fake or just not scary). But this movie doesn't have this problem. Add to that the tense atmosphere and suspenseful pacing, and you have a true winner of a horror film. Top grade.


Legend (1985)

Peter Jackson's fantastic adaptation of The Lord of The Rings aside, Legend is probably my favorite fantasy film. It paints such a picture, with the engrossing environments, and the simply out-of-this-world soundtrack by Tangerine Dream. My older brother also did his part in hyping up the movie in my younger years, remarking at how scary it was, with the depiction of Lord Darkness and all ("Black as darkness, black as pitch, blacker than the foulest witch!"). In my mind, everything about this film, from the characters to the lines, even to the character's voices and the way they say their lines, is classic. I love the dichotomy in this film, between light and darkness, and between hope and despair. You've got princesses, unicorns, elves and faeries, goblins and demons, the devil himself, enchanted forests and labyrinthine tunnels. And the best part is that it doesn't feel childish. It's all dead serious. And very artistic. I love it.


The Matrix (1999)

Probably my favorite sci-fi film, The Matrix is mind-blowing. And although the first movie gets the most exposure, you really can't talk about it without bringing in the continuation of the story in the two sequels. Still, the premise of the original alone is enough to get people's attention. What if the world as we know it is just an illusion, a computer program created to deceive us humans, so that we never realize that we are slaves to a race of machines out in the real world, who rely on our energy as their primary power source? Maybe the idea has been thrown around in various forms over the years, but this movie encapsulates the confusion of such a hypothesis in such a simultaneously entertaining and engaging manner. Meanwhile, it manages to ask all the myriad other philosophical brain-fuck questions that college students tend to ask when they're sitting up late, drinking some coffee after a last-minute study session before the next day's exam. This movie is cool.


Aliens (1986)

The Alien movies had a huge impact on my youth, and of the original trilogy, it was the middle child that made the biggest impression on me. The first movie was groundbreaking, and terrifying, but the first sequel upped the ante by literally multiplying the alien threat many times over. This movie gave me nightmares. The hive, with the victims all gooed up, awaiting their inevitable and torturous death; the paranoia of the team with the aliens closing in and them not knowing how to escape or survive; and the Queen, by god, the Queen. Absolutely terrifying, and so powerful in its execution. Few movies (particularly horror and sci-fi) have ever managed to create such a believable and terrifying creature design, but H.R. Giger pulled through on the general form of the xenomorph. Well done.


Omissions (movies that should have been included on this list, but were omitted):


28 Days Later (2002) [and 28 Weeks Later (2007)]

Not only did 28 Days Later reinvent the zombie horror subgenre, it's the movie that made me a horror fan. And what's more, it also introduced me to a whole new genre of music - post-rock, thanks to the perfect placement of a Godspeed You! Black Emperor song in the scene just after Jim wakes up in a hospital to learn that, as far as he can tell, the entire world has been wiped out while he was unconscious. Well, except for those bloodthirsty "zombies" scattered about the city, all of which are twenty times faster - and angrier - than your typical Romero-style undead. This is an intense movie, and one of the best post-apocalyptic approaches I've yet seen in film. The sequel, 28 Weeks Later, is also not to be missed.


Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)

I'm not typically a fan of musicals. I don't like movies that periodically break out into ridiculous song and dance routines. However, Jesus Christ Superstar is a different kind of musical - actually more of a rock opera. The whole thing is music, and it's not crappy music, but good 70's rock-tinged music. As for the story, not only is it one of the biggest stories of all time (I mean, the crucifixion of Christ, come on), but this adaptation of the story has an approach that I really dig, even though I'm not a very religious person. I was singing this rock opera word for word, start to finish, when I was young, and it still comes back to me every now and again.


The 36th Chamber of Shaolin (1978) a.k.a. Master Killer

The truth is, I enjoy watching martial arts movies, but I haven't seen a whole lot of them. Still, Shaolin Master Killer stands out from the crowd. Any self-respecting martial arts flick has its share of kickass fight scenes, but what sets Master Killer apart is its focus on the training process. The bulk of the film, between the setup and the conclusion, follows our main character (played by Gordon Liu)'s efforts at mastering the 35 chambers of kung fu at the Shaolin temple - first training each part of his body, and then learning various weapons and fighting styles. By giving the moves this kind of contextual meaning and background, the fights are far more interesting and satisfying to the viewer. Even apart from that, it's an all around good film.


Additions (movies that have been added to my favorites since the original posting of this list):

Innocence (2004)

The Runaways (2010)

Bug (2006) - A claustrophobic character study (adapted from a stage play) of a burn-out and a schizophrenic (played by Ashley Judd and Michael Shannon, respectively) who together descend into paranoiac insanity when they begin to suspect they are at the heart of a government conspiracy to implant the public with organic insectoid transmitters.

The Beguiled (1971) - Clint Eastwood stars in this erotic thriller set during the American Civil War. A wounded soldier in enemy territory ends up at a girls' seminary school, and attempts to charm each of the women there in the hopes of making an escape - but the women may not be as vulnerable as they seem.

Kissed (1996)

Black Snake Moan (2006) - Samuel L. Jackson and Christina Ricci star as a farmer and a nymphomaniac in search of spiritual peace in this soulful, blues-drenched erotic drama.

Shuffle! (2005-2006)

Note: This review was originally posted on Myspace. I am reposting it here for archival purposes. It has been backdated to the date of its original posting.

Warning! This review may contain some vague spoilers.

I was shuffling through some elf pics one day, and I came across a character I was able to identify as Kareha from Shuffle!, an anime series based on an eroge. Naturally, I decided to check out the series. Turns out Kareha is actually a god, not an elf, but the difference is negligible. Unfortunately, she's also a secondary character. But, being a sexy senpai with beautiful green eyes, who likes frilly underwear and works at a costume café, what's not to like?

As for the series, I'd say it's something of a cross between To Heart and Evangelion. Heh. It starts out like your basic shounen-series-based-on-a-dating-sim, except it takes place in a world that has connections to both the Realm of the Gods and the Realm of the Demons.

We have your main character, Tsuchimi Rin, a basic all-around nice guy; the required female childhood friend, Kaede, who lives with and cares for Rin (there was an ugly accident in the past that killed off both of Rin's parents as well as Kaede's mother); and the genki dama senpai (Shigure Asa) who harbors a long-standing and repressed crush on Rin. As if those two weren't enough for Rin to choose between, both the daughters of the Lord of the Gods and of the Lord of the Demons - Sia and Nerine (the latter is conveniently nicknamed Rin...) - transfer into Rin's class, and it turns out they both want to be Rin's wife. Oh, and there's also a mysterious lolita donning the Ruri-hairstyle (Primula, nicknamed Rim...) who ends up moving in with Rin and Kaede.

The characters are all cute and lovable, and the first half of the series is pretty light and happy. The second half takes a dark turn, though, starting with the revelation of Primula's true nature. The series begins to delve into the psychological states of the main characters, including Nerine's relationship with her clone, and Sia's relationship with her unborn twin. And then there's the truth behind Rin and Kaede's history together. Truly awesome. I really loved how these girls' worlds started falling apart when Rin finally chose one of them. You just know, with this many girls in love with one guy, that when he finally picks one, there's gonna be a mess. That having been said, I was kind of disappointed that the final ending was rather happy, with each of the girls coming to terms with her position in the eyes of her beloved.

Still, it was a good series. I thought they could have taken more advantage of the gods/demons angle, since the way it turns out, the only real difference between humans, gods, and demons is the shape of their ears, and some magic power that's used only sparingly throughout the series. Also, I thought the whole idol club/groupie thing was pretty awkward/silly. But, the bottom line for a series like this is whether you can fall for the characters, and Shuffle's characters are not only lovely, but psychologically intriguing as well. I recommend it.

"You're always concerned about people who are suffering. Maybe I should suffer more?"