Black Phone 2 (2025)

To be fair, there were a lot of distractions in the theater when I went to see Black Phone 2. Perhaps that's why I had difficulty losing myself in the movie, but I don't think that alone is enough to explain why I didn't like it as much as the first one. I'll go out on a limb and say, I think The Black Phone is a victim of its own success. The first movie was an unassuming, quality horror movie about a kid trying to escape a serial killer. I feel like this movie is trying too hard to turn "The Black Phone" into a phenomenon. Not every good horror movie needs to be a franchise.

Let me be a little more specific. There were supernatural elements in the first movie, but they played a supporting role, and ultimately served the narrative. In the sequel, they've been pushed to the forefront, jettisoning any remaining tether to reality. As if demoted to the level of franchise mascot, Ethan Hawke - whose subtle creepiness contributed much to the unsettling feeling of the last movie - isn't given much to do here besides go on a murderous rampage, threatening to kill people in their dreams and from beyond the grave - while doing it in ice skates, like a wannabe Canadian Freddie Krueger. And though the setting (while stunning in its frozen beauty) seems to give nods to Friday The 13th and even John Carpenter's The Thing, the movie isn't strong enough to raise these details from the bin of derivativeness to the level of homage.

Even on a superficial level, this movie doesn't have the charm of setting and tone and style that the first one had. The kids are older now, with the focus switched to the sister and her psychic dream powers. The actress did a fantastic job in the last movie. I hate to be vain, but they've given her a ridiculous haircut, and it's like she's a completely different person (I actually had to double check the cast list to confirm that it was the same actress). Maybe it's because they now look like adults (despite still being treated as "minor children" by the camp staff) and it's not quite so charming, but the vaguely inappropriate banter between siblings that felt so effortlessly humorous in the last movie, now feels forced and over the top (I kid you not, the phrase "dinosaur dick" appears in the dialogue at one point). And to top it all off, the movie even lowered itself to include a jump scare or two, as if forgetting what made the first movie so effective. More likely, it's pandering to a different audience. A less sophisticated audience, to my disappointment.

The Black Phone (2021)

I can't keep up with all the new horror movies coming out these days - I just don't watch 'em like I used to. But I had a spontaneous opportunity to take a couple teenagers to see Black Phone 2, and so I wanted to watch the first movie first. My patience for the all-too common low effort formula of cheap jump scares punctuated by an audio crescendo (yawn) has seriously flat-lined. Life's too short to waste time watching those kinds of movies. But that's why I loved The Black Phone so much. This is how you do horror - mystery, tension, characters you care about, just the right amount of straight-faced humor, with a creepy premise that touches on some flavor of unsettling horror (pick your poison), in a movie where the bottom line isn't getting girls to jump into their dates' arms while spilling popcorn all over the floor. The pacing was excellent. The soundtrack was excellent. I loved the commitment to the 1970s setting. The characters were interesting. The kids were great. Ethan Hawke was fantastic as the antagonist. Figuring out what was going on with the black phone, and then watching to find out if the protagonist would find a way to escape made the movie enjoyable, without any need for cheap theatrics. It pays when creators take the horror genre seriously, and not treat it as schlock designed to turn a quick buck. I applaud the filmmakers who made The Black Phone, and I look forward to seeing the sequel.

Evil Dead Rise (2023) & Bone Tomahawk (2015)

Apparently, there's a new Evil Dead movie out. I saw it on Netflix, so I figured I'd give it a watch. If you know me, you know I'll never quit a movie once I've started it. Never. But I couldn't finish this one. I didn't even make it to the halfway point before I completely lost interest. Honestly, typing my thoughts out seems like more fun than watching the rest of this movie (it's still playing in the background). Although I'm an honest reviewer, I like to give creators the benefit of the doubt, because I know how hard it is to tell a story, and pour your heart out onto the page (or screen). I may be a critic, but I don't enjoy being critical. But this movie is worthless. I can't believe it has so many favorable reviews on IMDb. Somebody paid a lot of money to generate hype.

When they filmed an Evil Dead remake in 2013, I loved it. I'm not that hard to please. I thought this movie would follow in its footsteps, be some kind of a sequel. But it's just a hollow cash grab. The characters are uninteresting. The writing is nonexistent. The original Evil Dead had ridiculous gore effects just for their own sake - and it worked, because it was legitimately entertaining, and didn't take itself too seriously. This movie can't even hide the fact that it's contriving situations that make no logical or emotional sense just for some cheap freakouts. It's like the director is constantly bashing you over the head saying, "you're watching a movie, remember?", instead of letting you get engrossed in it. Maybe he should have directed a carnival ride instead of a piece of cinema.

It has all the hallmarks of bad modern horror: unsympathetic characters, jump scares punctuated by an obnoxious soundtrack, gross-out in favor of constructing atmosphere. Even the cute little girl that's a cliche in these kind of movies has an unnecessary lisp (we get it, she's a kid) and an inexplicable British accent. Don't be tricked by the halfway decent-looking cold open, because it's just misdirection; after the title card, the movie swerves and spends the rest of its runtime in some dingy apartment (shot with a blue filter), featuring completely unrelated characters.

The only thing this movie has going for it (and I'll give it that, though it's not much) is the look of the Necronomicon - including the artwork inside its pages. I'd love to have a recreation of it to display on my bookshelf. But it's a cool prop that deserves to be in a better movie. It's not worth sitting through this drudgefest just to see a few glimpses of it. This movie doesn't work as a standalone horror film, and it's even worse in connection to the Evil Dead franchise.

Okay, I'm watching the climax now, and it's a little bit interesting. It's weird how the characters look better drenched in blood. But it's not worth torturing yourself for 75 minutes just for a semi-decent payoff. And the homages to earlier Evil Dead films are falling flat. If the filmmakers wanted audiences to enjoy the ending, they should have stuck it at the end of a better movie. There's no excuse for this.

By contrast - and I feel bad mentioning these two titles in the same breath, but it serves as an effective counterpoint - I just watched Bone Tomahawk last night, and it was amazing. As a novel fusion of the horror and Western genres, it already starts with an intriguing premise. But what makes it so great is the writing. The characters are interesting. Their dialogue is smart, and entertaining. Most of the movie is just setup to a final encounter with a group of cannibalistic savages on the Western frontier, but the movie would be hardly less interesting if it had just been the setup, without any payoff. That's how you do it.

You have to know that I don't have anything against the horror genre (I wouldn't have published hundreds of reviews of horror movies if I didn't love horror), but when the genre becomes synonymous with pornography - cheap smut with only one simple purpose - it does itself a great disservice. The writing in Bone Tomahawk was so good, it attracted a higher caliber of actors, including Kurt Russell, Patrick Wilson, and David Arquette (I didn't recognize Richard Jenkins, but he was phenomenal in this, too). This is the vision I see for horror - like a more sophisticated form of erotica, a respected art form that's technically proficient while still delivering the thrills audiences crave. I implore you, don't waste your time watching Evil Dead Rise. Elevate your palate and watch Bone Tomahawk instead. That's the kind of project that deserves our support as horror-loving movie fans.

The Conjuring Universe

I've admittedly fallen out of the habit of writing reviews, not because I don't enjoy the work, but because it IS work, and work that I've never been paid for (despite my feeble, failed attempt at generating affiliate revenue). I do still enjoy horror as much as ever, but I don't spend as much time watching it (outside of the Halloween season), nor do I keep track of new releases like I used to.

Still, I'm proud to say that the kids in my family have pretty much all learned to appreciate the entertainment value of a good horror flick - even without any conscious prompt from me! It's actually kind of funny to hear them raving about horror movies, having little idea of how obsessed I've been with them for much of my life. Like when they discovered The Conjuring on Netflix, a movie I saw in the theater back in 2013.

I had no idea back then that it would become the next big horror franchise following Saw (currently featuring eight films in The Conjuring "universe" - no doubt borrowing a page from Marvel's playbook), but it does make a certain amount of sense in hindsight, given how crowded that theater was (which was a surprise to me, as someone who is used to sitting practically alone in the theater during horror screenings), and the fact that the story is framed as a single case from the colorful career of a pair of paranormal investigators (based on real people, not that that means much in horror).

Browsing my review from eight years ago, the point that stands out is how effectively the movie utilized the genre's clichés to generate a cross between The Amityville Horror (a story which itself has ties to the aforementioned paranormal investigators) and The Exorcist. Anyway, the kids keep talking up the sequels, and have lent me their DVD collection for them, so I'm going to watch them all and write down my thoughts as I go. I haven't done a marathon like this for a while, but it will be just like old times!

The Conjuring (2013)

I don't have a whole lot to add to my previous review of this movie; my impression this time was on par with how I felt the first time I watched it (minus the reactions of a largely unblooded theater audience). Despite utilizing many of the tropes of the genre, it does so very effectively and piles them on thick. I did notice that Annabelle features more heavily in this movie than I remembered.

In fact, the first shot of the movie is a closeup of her face, and a brief recounting of her origin is used to introduce paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren, who in this movie investigate what is promised to be their most extreme case, of a demonic possession tormenting a family of five(!) daughters, that results in (spoiler) the Warrens performing a homebrew exorcism.

I did recognize a few familiar faces, including Joey King (who would grow up to star in the runaway hit Kissing Booth movies) and Mackenzie Foy (who was memorable in Interstellar), but most surprisingly John Brotherton (who plays D.J.'s other romantic interest, Matt Harmon, in the Fuller House reboot) as a town cop whose presence provides more comedic relief than actual protection (after all, it's ghosts - not criminals - they're up against).

In hindsight, I'm less surprised that this movie was successful; for a horror movie, it's as effective as it is accessible, with a framing narrative that leaves room for expansion, and the added kick (however cynical I've become of this claim in the realm of horror, it works rather better with the more naive, general audiences) that it's based on a true story. Now let's see about those sequels.

Annabelle (2014)

So, this movie actually starts with the same scene as The Conjuring, but the main story takes place before that encounter, with Annabelle's previous owners. I was actually kind of disappointed that the Warrens didn't feature in this movie, but I guess they can make more movies if they don't need the principal actors for the side stories.

If The Conjuring was a cross between The Amityville Horror and The Exorcist, then this movie is Chucky meets Rosemary's Baby. A young, married couple expecting their first baby is the target of a Manson-style home invasion conducted by members of a Satanic cult, which results in what would seem to be the origin of Annabelle's supernatural powers.

"To non-believers, it's all crazy."

Honestly, the movie felt a little slow, and the doll scares weren't as effective for me as the ghost scares in The Conjuring. Haunted dolls just aren't my thing. I mean, yeah, dolls can be creepy, in an uncanny valley sort of way, but if supernatural forces are going to take physical shape, they can be a lot more creative than relying on manmade wooden effigies.

Even if the effigy in question is so grotesque that I have a hard time swallowing anyone buying it (at least unironically) as a gift. That said, there is a point in this movie where an actual demon makes an appearance, giving us the money shot that The Conjuring lacked, and it's worth seeing. But if this movie wanted to impress me more, it would have had more demon, and less doll.

The Conjuring 2 (2016)

A question one might have for The Conjuring 2 is, if The Conjuring already depicted paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren's most extreme case, how do you make the next one stand out? And the answer is, go for name recognition. The movie starts with the Warrens investigating the house from The Amityville Horror (albeit in the wake of the events that went on there), and then proceeds to tie it in to the notorious case of the Enfield poltergeist in England.

Maybe this is just the inevitable result of watching too many haunted house movies, but there comes a point when the scares start to feel too contrived (even including the use of feints to trick the audience), especially with the guidance of a dramatic soundtrack. This is something I liked about the low-key approach of Paranormal Activity - I prefer a situation that's organically scary to the movie broadcasting the parts at which I'm supposed to be scared.

Which isn't to say that the poltergeist activity in this movie isn't creepy, or that it's not creative, but it's distracting when you can feel the invisible presence of the director's hand manipulating the scene, conjuring up ways to shock the audience. Is there meaning in the ghost flicking light switches, spontaneously playing radios, switching TV channels, or is it just generally trying to be a nuisance?

"Honestly, I don't know what's worse - the demons,
or the people preying on our willingness to believe in them."

"The demons. They're worse."

So, there's two stories going on here, one about a nice English family apparently being haunted by a renegade band of Cornish Pixies, and another where Lorraine seems to be hounded by a ghost she encountered in the Amityville house, which looks like a cross between Marilyn Manson and Jigsaw, dressed in a nun's habit (is this "The Nun"? Why are we seeing her now? Or is this another case, like Annabelle, of the writers creating spin-off potential?).

The movie actually gets a whole lot more interesting (and surprisingly humorous) when the Warrens finally get involved in the Enfield case. After all, these characters are what sets these movies apart - it's fun to see their confidence in action, and the experience they have doing this unusual work. In fact, the conclusion is quite thrilling (even if it's not exactly original at this point to conduct the climax in front of an open second story window), complete with a few dizzying twists. I think this movie requires a little more investment than the first one (especially given its fairly long runtime), but I'd consider it an effective sequel.

Annabelle: Creation (2017)

What this movie lacks in originality, it more than makes up for in execution. The first Annabelle movie gave us an origin story for the evil within the doll (which was already redundant, given that a different explanation was profferred in her first appearance in The Conjuring); yet, instead of tapping in to the potential for stories about other people coming into contact with the doll following its corruption (and before it ends up in the safe keeping of the Warrens' treasury of occult objects - unless it were to somehow manage to escape, hint hint), this movie takes us back even further, to tell a tale about the dollmaker who handcrafted Annabelle, and to seemingly spin a new origin story for the evil within it (because what would an Annabelle movie be with a doll that's not haunted?).

Many questions arose as I was watching this movie. Is Annabelle just so cursed that she can host multiple demons within her slight wooden frame? Or are there multiple Annabelles? In this movie, we witness Annabelle's construction; it's indicated that this is the first in a limited series of what was supposed to be a hundred dolls, but I think there's a reasonable indication that no more were ever completed after the first one - even though that could have explained the presence of different dolls with different possession stories. Yet, this reading would require that something about the design of the doll must be a unique conduit for evil (like LeMarchand's puzzle box). However, other than its aforementioned grotesque appearance, no explanation for this is given. (Spoiler: the end of the movie ties all of these loose ends into a neat bow).

To summarize the plot of this movie, years after his daughter is killed in a freak accident, the dollmaker opens his house up to a girls' orphanage (beating The Conjuring's previous record with six girls this time), and the typical poltergeist-related shenanigans commence, with Annabelle at their center. I don't know what it is, but the scares in this movie were significantly more chilling than the others so far. And I'm glad to see that the creators took my advice from the first Annabelle movie (which I've just given, years after both movies were already made >.>), and favorably tweaked the demon-to-doll ratio. The venerable Miranda Otto (who has been having a blast in The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina lately) hovers around the edge of this story, but the real revelation is young Talitha Bateman as polio-stricken Janice. There's a career to watch.

"Forgive me, Father, for I am about to sin."

Oh, and one other thing. I had a thought while watching this movie, although it's probably more true of The Conjuring movies than the Annabelle movies, but have you ever noticed how these movies are like a fireworks display of poltergeist activity? They start out small, trying out a few displays, then slowly ramp up the action, and you can always tell when the finale hits because they'll throw everything in their arsenal at you all at once!

The Nun (2018)

Like Annabelle before it, The Nun is a spin-off prequel telling of the origin of one of the series' major antagonists, introduced in The Conjuring 2. Except, it's not so much an origin story as a "this happened, too" story - and there's a critical flaw in setting up a prequel as a typical standoff between good and evil, when you know that evil is ultimately going to prevail (and not even in a "the bad guy wins" sort of way, which can be good). The best five minutes of this movie are a rushed summary of where the evil came from (something to do with a deranged crusader performing Satanic rituals) - and if you ask me, that story is what this whole movie should have been.

But to get to what this movie actually is, we start at the beginning, which feels very contrived. Inexplicably, a random abbey in Romania has a demon locked in its basement (oh yeah, happens all the time), and even more inexplicably, the abbess decides that it's a good idea to unlock the door and let it out (did you know that doors can totally hold demons back?). And if that weren't enough, once the abbess is presumably possessed, and the demon is chasing what appears to be the last surviving nun, she goes off and commits suicide, because that's totally something somebody ordained in the faith would choose to do. The fact that these events are eventually provided a plausible explanation doesn't forgive the movie for asking the viewer to stretch their suspension of disbelief so far in the first place. The only redeeming element is the irony of one of these movies starting, rather than ending, in front of an open second story window for a change.

But the movie's implausibility doesn't end there. In the wake of this disastrous encounter, the Vatican sends a "miracle hunter" priest to investigate with the help of a sister-of-the-faith-in-training. When the latter is introduced explaining dinosaurs to the younger students at her convent, it feels like the writers are telling us, "she's religious, but don't worry, she's totally cool". Because you know the church would aggressively stamp out that kind of open-minded progressivism in anyone on track to taking their vows. On the other hand, the character is played by Taissa Farmiga, who I remember from the first season (in particular) of American Horror Story, and who I keep thinking about every time I look at her sister (although they are 21 years apart in age) Vera's face, who plays Lorraine Warren in these movies. So that's cool.

I don't want to drag on too long talking about this movie that largely failed to hold my interest, so let me just address a few points. I like the setting - a gothic castle feels more appropriate for a ghost story than a modern dwelling. I just wish it was used in a movie with better writing. Example: the priest dismisses the guide so he won't have to "be caught on the road at nightfall". The guide agrees, and promptly leaves; in the next scene, he's on the road and it's dark. Like, okay. Later, the priest gets buried alive (and proceeds to use up as much oxygen as possible shouting repeatedly and flicking his lighter), and the nun-to-be has to use her psychic visions (I know) to dispel the ghost's distractions in order to find which grave he's buried in, except that the ghost already put the priest's name on the tombstone...

I guess I don't find the concept of a nun wandering around, even in the shadows, to be particularly scary. I mean, yeah, nuns are scary, but for all the human reasons, not any supernatural ones. And while the nun does have a creepy face, I feel like they're overplaying that factor (and I feel bad for the actress that plays her - how would you feel being told that you have a great face for horror?). I also don't think she quite lives up to the epithet "the defiler". Mocking religious symbols is one thing, but you have to have an artistry to it, a certain depravity. And it's not as much fun if you don't throw in some perversion. Maybe, like Annabelle (which played largely on the fears of new motherhood), I'm just not the ideal audience for this movie, given that I'm neither religious nor superstitious (redundant, I know).

The Curse of La Llorona (2019)

As the first "spin-off" in The Conjuring franchise that's really more of an independent tale, not preemptively teased or featuring a previously introduced entity in any of the other films, there's not much tying this movie to the Conjuring universe, aside from the brief appearance of Father Perez (who played a supporting role in the first Annabelle movie). Well, that, and the fact that this movie very much possesses the spirit of a Conjuring movie, with a creepy antagonist (just in a bridal gown instead of a nun's habit) who terrorizes people with poltergeist activity in pursuit of human souls.

The movie starts out well enough, feeling like more of a supernatural drama compared to the fantasy horror of The Nun. The story is inspired by a Mexican folk tale about a woman who drowned her own sons. She's called La Llorona (and forgive me, but I had the tune to My Sharona playing on repeat in the back of my head all throughout this movie), or the Weeping Woman. As the legend goes, when she found out that her husband had cheated on her, instead of punishing the husband, she murdered the kids she'd had with him. Upon realizing that she was the worst mother in the world, she killed herself only to end up spending her afterlife taking other people's kids. Until she runs into a feisty social worker (Linda Cardellini) and widowed wife of a cop raising two perky kids in Los Angeles, that is.

There's also another woman, whose behavior throughout the movie is quite frustrating. Like, she locks up her kids and acts crazy, and then blames the social worker (and actually attacks her) for rescuing the kids and thereby leaving them vulnerable to the entity that's hunting them. Like the social worker bears any responsibility when the woman failed, when given the opportunity, to explain the situation. I get that it's a supernatural folk tale, but if she was afraid of sounding crazy, the ship had already left that port. It just annoys me when drama is manufactured from a situation that could be resolved if people would simply explain themselves. I get that this happens in real life, too, but that doesn't change my feelings about it. And then later in the movie, she totally flip flops with no real motivation between being on the good side and the bad side.

And then we come to the final act of the movie, in which an ex-priest faith healer (Raymond Cruz) with "miracle hunter" vibes steps in to help the afflicted family, through a series of rituals and preparations that seems totally arbitrary and as if they were being made up on the spot. At this point, I think I'm getting bored with the convoluted schemes ghosts use to steal people's souls (read: lives). I mean, I can get playing tricks to make people go crazy, especially to the point of desperation and giving in just to make it stop, but it's almost demeaning that these supposedly intimidating supernatural forces have to resort to such petty psycho-physical manipulations. I keep thinking about how effective The Exorcist was, and it saddens me to see these ghosts and demons preoccupied with gliding down dark hallways, slamming doors, and toying with the remote. Give me sodomy with a crucifix any day of the week.

Annabelle Comes Home (2019)

Now that we're past the low point of the series, with those movies that don't even have "Conjuring" or "Annabelle" in the title, we're back to the power hitters, and I'm pretty excited. I may not have been real stoked to watch the first Annabelle movie (because haunted dolls, ya know?), but I liked the second one a lot, and I saw a trailer for this one when I popped in the disc for The Curse of La Llorona, and I'll be damned if I didn't think it looked good.

So, for the third time in the series, we get a movie starting with that scene with the Warrens interviewing the last owners of Annabelle before they acquired it, but for the first time, we get to see what happens immediately after that, on Annabelle's trip "home" - to the Warrens' Artifact Room. And it's nice to see the Warrens appearing in a movie that doesn't have "Conjuring" in the title. That's a testament to how big the Annabelle spin-off has become.

"Nice doll."
"That's what you think."

And this time, we get a proper sequel instead of another prequel - even though the events of this movie still occur before the events of The Conjuring - with Annabelle escaping her glass cage in the Warrens' treasury of occult objects. We also get to see more of the Warrens' daughter Judy, who is central to the action for a change, although she's been recast (no doubt because the previous Judy grew up) as Mckenna Grace, who was in The Haunting of Hill House (among other things - including a small role in Fuller House, since another actor from that show already turned up in one of these movies previously).

Along with Judy (who sees dead people, but she gets that from her mother), this movie is carried by two teen girls, a babysitter and her friend. Babysitters, school hallways - this feels like a vintage horror movie. I like a movie that gives you a nice slice of life with interesting characters before hacking them to bits (well, if this were a slasher). The real horror isn't what the monster does to its victims, it's what it takes away from them - peace of mind, happiness, and a chance at a normal life.

I'll even forgive the babysitter's plucky friend for being stupid enough to break into a room filled with cursed objects (and the Warrens for not hiding the key better), because it's just a plot device, resulting in a level of mayhem that's akin to a containment breach in the Ghostbusters headquarters. If we weren't so late in the series already, I'd say it's all fertile ground for further spin-off material.

The scares are pretty fun this time, without too much reliance on cheap gimmicks. The effect of the coins in the Ferryman's eyes, in particular, was clever, contributing to the effect of a creepy atmosphere over the hollow payoff of a jump scare. And the prognosti-tube (no idea what it's really called) was ingeniously unsettling. Although I could do without the "puking blood into somebody else's mouth as a vehicle for possession" trope. I know horror isn't designed to make you feel comfortable, but seriously, ew.

As a final thought, seeing so much of the Warrens' Artifact Room just makes me realize that this series hasn't remotely tapped the true sequel potential of its premise, especially spending three movies now revisiting the same doll (even if it does have the reputation for being the most dangerous object in the room - I like the touch of putting the tarot card for The Devil on her case, by the way). I think The Conjuring would be great as a TV series, with each episode detailing the origin/acquisition of one artifact from the room.

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)

The Conjuring 3 opens at what seems to be the climax of one of the Warrens' cases, in which they are asked to oversee the exorcism of an 8 year old boy (for the first time, it's a boy - and one with ridiculous Gibson Praise glasses). And it looks like a doozy. Lorraine is sporting a new hairstyle - an updo reminiscent of pictures I've seen of the real Lorraine Warren, who looks rather older than she does in these movies. Between that and the (brief) return of the original actress who played Judy (who continues, as we all must, to advance in age), my suspicions are confirmed that this is one of the Warrens' later cases. Which is appropriate, eight years after the first movie came out, and as many films into the series. I wonder, though, if there'll be any more after this one?

The exorcism ends unusually in an apparent transference of possession (whose host gives off such strong Harvey from The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina vibes that I'm legitimately surprised it's not the same actor), and with Ed in the hospital, unable to warn the others what happened before the new host wreaks havoc (his struggle with health problems really gives Lorraine a chance to step up to the plate in this one). But what's really interesting about this movie is the extent to which it covers new ground, instead of retreading territory the series has already been over (other critics might cite this as a weakness, but I think it's one of this movie's strengths). The Warrens are faced with a new kind of demonic possession - less poltergeist activity and more Satanic curse - and must solve the mystery of what's going on while a young man's life is on trial.

"The demon's gone, what can you do now?"
"Who's your lawyer?"

This movie is based on the true life story of the first case in US law to claim demonic possession as a defense, which the Warrens consulted on. But that's not to say that this movie is a court procedural. The Warrens' investigations lead them to a(nother) ex-priest (played by John Noble, who was very memorable on Fringe) - one who studied the Disciples of the Ram (the Satanic cult responsible for much of the mayhem in the first Annabelle movie), to the point of collecting a treasury of ritual objects of his own (more along the lines of objects created for evil purposes, as opposed to mundane objects repurposed for evil), enough to make even the Warrens hesitant to enter. I'll refrain from giving away the rest of the movie, but suffice to say, I enjoyed it.

Conclusion:

It's been a fun ride! I enjoyed the main entries better than the spin-offs, although the Annabelle movies grew on me more than I expected them to. Ed and Lorraine Warren are definitely interesting characters, and provide fertile ground for stories to tell in the paranormal subgenre of horror. I think casting Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga was a good choice, as they both have good screen presence, and a natural chemistry. However, ironically, the more I've learned about the real life Warrens, the more I'm convinced they were frauds. Not that I ever seriously considered their claims, skeptical atheist that I am, but I will admit that I was a little taken in initially by the claim that they spent a lot of time finding perfectly natural explanations for the phenomena their clients experienced. But I guess if you want to convince people that your snake oil works, you're gonna pick the best case studies you can get your hands on (then again, one could argue that picking such highly publicized - and thus scrutinized - cases isn't the most effective strategy unless it's only publicity you're courting). Then again, it's entirely possible that they believed their own hype, reserving supernatural explanations for anything they couldn't otherwise explain. Religion and self-delusion frequently do go hand in hand. But that's reality, and this is fiction, and I'm capable of keeping the two separate.

The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

I added this new series on Netflix to my queue last month, but I made the mistake of not making it a priority. I guess I thought maybe it was some kind of remake or spin-off of House on Haunted Hill. But it's not. I watched it after Halloween, and it's one of the best shows I've seen in a long time. With high production values - particularly the writing and acting talent - it's one of those titles that rises above the din of the horror genre, and makes me proud to be a fan. I recommend it to fans of great TV, even outside the realm of horror fandom.

Although the show has its fair share of scares, much of its dramatic weight comes from its themes and its characters - five siblings and their parents, each a broken person, living as adults but still haunted by the traumatic events they experienced in childhood, during a brief but unforgettable stay in a haunted house. The show intersperses scenes from the past, constructing an intriguing mystery about what happened in those last days before they moved out in the middle of the night. The child actors that have been cast all do a phenomenal job (also, Annabeth Gish - who was Agent Reyes in late seasons of The X-Files - appears as one of the house's caretakers). But the real story is how these kids are navigating their lives in the present, and to what extent the house's supernatural draw still pulls at them - as an author, a mortician, a psychologist, a drug addict.

I particularly liked the way the series provides natural explanations for a lot of the supernatural phenomena (the kids' dad explains, "dreams can spill out sometimes") - one character, in particular, presses the mental illness angle. Another seeks therapy for recurring sleep paralysis. And while the series presents the supernatural elements in a very matter-of-fact way (and the narrative relies on them), at no point does it ever feel like you couldn't interpret them as "dramatizations" of an otherwise non-supernatural reality. (Somebody seeing something, for example, doesn't mean it's really there).

It's a well-crafted show, that relies heavily on suspense and drama, while also delighting in occasionally shocking viewers (but never in a way that feels "cheap" or undeserved). There's even an episode midway through that's shot in a series of long takes without cuts - which must have been a challenge for the actors, but it gives a very raw and spontaneous feeling to the expression of their emotions, in what is indeed a very dark day of their lives.

This show ruminates on fear and death, existential dread, but also maternal love (and how it can be corrupted), the human need for closeness and comfort, to listen to one another, and not take for granted the connections you have with loved ones, because they could be gone in the blink of an eye. Except that they never really are gone, so long as you hold them in your heart. It takes you on a dark journey, but the trip is a blast, and there is some light at the end of the tunnel. I give this series my highest recommendation.

Halloween 2018

The Ritual (2017)

Saw this on Netflix. A good cross between The Descent and The Blair Witch Project (though not shot in the found footage format). Four Englishmen take a hiking trip in the remote hills of Sweden to honor the tragic killing of a friend. When they elect to take a "shortcut" through the woods (as one of the characters warns, "if a shortcut was a shortcut, it wouldn't be called a shortcut, it would be called a route"), they stumble across a pagan cult worshiping some ancient beast as a God. For a while, it seems mostly like all the baggage is just what the friends bring with them into the forest, but there really is something out there, and you do eventually get a good look at it in the end (in a climax that had me quoting Princess Mononoke: "I'm going to show you how to kill a god"). The cinematography is breathtaking - the beautiful setting goes a long way in establishing an atmosphere that is genuinely instilled with fear. I recommend it.

Temple (2017)

Three Japan-o-philes visit the land of the rising sun. The girlfriend is doing her thesis on religious studies. The boyfriend (who is kind of a prick) is mostly along for the ride. The third wheel is actually the most interesting character, and the only one who can speak Japanese. They quickly and conveniently stumble upon clues leading them to what must be the most haunted temple in Japan. There's a potentially interesting story in there about six kids who went missing, and the monk who was found living in the temple, but that's not what this movie is about - that's just background fodder for a gimmicky ghost story. Unfortunately, the acting is a bit wooden, and the writing leaves something to be desired. The creature(s?) are creepy, but the nighttime chase is just too dark (and there are too many shots pointed down the barrel of a flashlight, as opposed to the other way around). There's a novelty (for me, at least) to occult symbolism being associated with oriental spiritualism (as opposed to Christianity or paganism), but the various story threads don't really line up into a logical framework beyond "ghosts are creepy, right?" in the end (which came sooner than I expected). I'd like to see this story told with more substance and less fluff.

The Devil's Candy (2015)

Now this movie has style - and I do love a movie with style. Its taste in music is so good (a heavy metal cross-section of Pantera, Slayer, Metallica, even Sunn O))) - not music I typically listen to, but great for setting the mood of a horror movie), even the "trailer" music on Netflix had me hopping over to Youtube for more. The setup is recurrent of The Amityville Horror - a nice family moves into a house with a dark past, and their lives subsequently take a dark turn - but with a strong serial killer flavor - starring an older-than-I-remember Pruitt Taylor Vince. The cold open is so captivating - a Lizzie Borden/Jim Morrison singing The End-type situation, where a man gets up in the middle of the night and plays power chords on his electric guitar to drown out the Satanic voice in his head - I was instantly sold.

The protagonist family - a metalhead slash painter, his wife, and their teenage (also metalhead) daughter - are attractive and likable, and the movie is largely free of dumb clichés. When the Satanic element begins to manifest itself through art - the father's painting, provided by the real-life artist who's worked on some of Sunn O)))'s album covers - it's glorious. Did I mention this movie has style? It's terrifying - albeit, in less of a supernatural way than one might hope (on that note, it's telling that the killer watches a lot of fire-and-brimstone televangelist preachers; it's not hard to imagine it fueling the delusions of an impaired mind - though the preacher thinks he's helping people, by preying on their fears, he's only magnifying the horrors in the world; it is the height of irony that he, himself, is among the worldly devils he warns about) - culminating in a harrowing climax, but damn, it's not often that I have this much fun watching a horror movie! It just goes to show how powerful a movie can be when it's not just trying to tell a story, but aspiring to be a work of art in its own right. It's no wonder the music and painting plays such a critical role. This is the kind of movie I'd be proud to display on my shelf. (Even Black Phillip makes a cameo!)

Apostle (2018)

At over two hours long, this movie is an epic journey, with a plot that strongly resembles The Wicker Man. Around the turn of the century (last century), a man is sent undercover in his ailing father's stead to infiltrate a goddess-worshiping island cult and rescue his kidnapped sister. The first half plays a bit like Colonia in a colonial village with a medieval sense of justice. But at the halfway point (and I suppose this is a bit of a spoiler), it takes a very dark turn, with some supernatural elements, as the cult begins to implode from within. Most of the horror is human-generated, however, and it gets pretty gruesome. It's a sleek production, with good writing, solid leads, and ace cinematography. It's undoubtedly a tense viewing experience, but if that doesn't bother you, it's very well done.

"The promise of the divine is but an illusion."
"God is pain... is suffering... is betrayal."

P (2005)

The granddaughter of a witch leaves the Thai countryside to seek a living in Bangkok, where she uses her supernatural talents to navigate the sex trade - and get herself into trouble, when she loses control of her powers and a bloodthirsty monster is let loose on the city. It's fascinating to see different cultures take on particular subjects - like witchcraft - to see the similarities and differences in how they're interpreted across cultures. True to Bangkok's reputation, this is as much an erotic film as it is a horror film (and I have no complaints about that). In fact, it feels like three movies in one - a gritty, country-girl-meets-city-life coming-of-age drama gives way to a flesh-eating night stalker thriller, that eventually evolves into a Thai version of The Exorcist! Plus, it deserves an award for most captivating ending credits sequence - this film really knows how to keep the audience engaged through the credits. ;-)

Haunted (2018)

This is a short series available on Netflix - I view it as a sort of modern analog to Sightings. Six stories told in bite-size, 20-30 minute episodes, with dramatic re-enactments. Obviously, you can take "the following is a true story" with a grain of salt, but since none of these stories is designed to prove or disprove the existence of paranormal phenomena (this isn't science, this is entertainment), you might as well suspend your disbelief and take them at face value - they're certainly presented that way, told by the victims and eyewitnesses themselves in first person. Most of the tales lack a satisfying conclusion, but I think that contributes to the scariness, by leaving things hanging out there. Fair warning: you might want to watch this one with the lights on.

Here's what you can expect: in the first episode, a man is h(a)unted by a vengeful ghost, in a setup reminiscent of It Follows. The second episode is the story of the kids who grew up with a devil-worshipping serial killer father. Episode three takes a few pages from the Poltergeist playbook. Episode four is the most positive episode (relatively speaking), about a medium who awakens his gift after being contacted by three kids who died in a well. The fifth episode is your requisite alien abduction episode. And in episode six, a teenage girl's deadbeat boyfriend gifts her a stolen gravestone, so she dumps him and shacks up with the demon that's attached to it. (That description's not a fair reflection of the tone of the episode, but it's not inaccurate, and I couldn't resist describing it that way).

Discussion: it's almost more fascinating trying to think up a psychological explanation for these experiences*. I mean, assuming they're not fabricated whole cloth - obviously, I don't believe in ghosts and aliens (anymore), but I believe that these people (or, if they're actors, then others like them) have had experiences that defy conventional explanation. (To quote Scully from The X-Files, I believe that they believe - doubting their explanations isn't the same thing as denying their emotional experiences). I think it will be fascinating somewhere down the line, when we have a better grasp of how the human brain functions, to explore the physiological (and/or environmental) factors** that lead to things like hearing sounds and voices, seeing apparitions, etc. Just having had an episode of sleep paralysis once in my life, I've experienced the unbelievably realistic delusions the human mind can conjure when it's not functioning correctly, and the intense feelings (especially sheer terror) that can go along with that. Take mere suggestibility as a start. I don't believe in these things - these entities - yet thinking about them is enough to cause a palpable reaction of fear (accompanied by such physiological symptoms as goosebumps) in my mind and body. To quote The X-Files again, we have yet to discover how neural networks create self-consciousness, let alone how the human brain processes two-dimensional retinal images into the three-dimensional phenomenon known as perception, yet we somehow brazenly declare that "seeing is believing".

*When some of the people in this show say things like "houses aren't haunted, people are haunted", or that spirits are "attached" to them, or when one person in a household experiences a lot of paranormal activity but others don't... this all could be interpreted as one person being "psychically open" or "empathically gifted" or some such, but it suggests to me the possibility that these could be the manifestations of an impaired mind (or an enhanced one, depending on your perspective).

**In both genetics and conditioning - as reinforced by The Devil's Candy, it always seems to be those with direct exposure to religious mythology (not always in the form of devotion - sometimes it's "inflicted" upon them by others) that interpret these experiences in such archetypal ways. To provide an example of this phenomenon, a schizophrenic who hears voices or feels presences will be more likely to interpret them as ghosts or demons if he's been taught to believe in things like pure evil and the immortal soul.

Tales of Halloween (2015)

It's fun to watch scary shows and horror movies during October, but I always like it when I get a chance to watch something that captures the true essence of Halloween - costume parties and jack o' lanterns and trick 'r treaters - on the holiday itself. Especially when I don't get a chance to get out there myself (and not being a kid anymore, that kind of depends on the whims of other families). That's one of the things I like about the early Treehouse of Horror episodes of The Simpsons. That's also part of what makes the slasher classic Halloween such a perennial favorite. So I saved Tales of Halloween for October 31st - an anthology of ten (very) loosely connected stories that occur on the night of All Hallow's Eve, very much in the vein of that other, more recent, Halloween classic, Trick 'r Treat.

I'll tell you straight up that it's not as good as Trick 'r Treat, but it wasn't a bad way to spend a Halloween night, cuddled up on the couch with a bag full of candy, after all the excitement of the day has wound down. The stories are more sequential and less interwoven than they were in Trick 'r Treat - occasionally a reference to one short will be made in another, and the trick 'r treaters who feature predominantly in one story are recycled in the others. To give you an idea of what to expect, here's a...well, short description of each of the shorts:

Sweet Tooth - An urban legend about a kid who will eat all your candy (even the pieces you've already eaten) comes to life.

The Night Billy Raised Hell - An unfortunate kid learns why it's a bad idea to egg the guy's house who never gives out candy. (spoiler: it's not because he doesn't know how to enjoy the holiday).

Trick - A group of kids decide they'd rather draw blood than receive candy from a group of adults spending the holiday under the influence (spoiler: that decision is entirely justified).

The Weak and the Wicked - A bullied kid attempts to summon a Halloween demon to exact vengeance on his (rather sadistic) bullies.

Grim Grinning Ghost - A fairly straightforward exercise in suspense, expectation, redirection, and jump scares, when a woman's car breaks down and she has to walk home after listening to ghost stories at a friend's house.

Ding Dong - A rather quirky segment, featuring some kind of demon lady who really wants children, and her soft-spoken mate, as they navigate the temptation of having children delivered right to their doorstep on Halloween.

This Means War - A short that seemed more interesting in its setup than its ultimate conclusion. Basically, a tale of one-upsmanship in the realm of decorating your house for the holiday.

Friday the 31st - An over-the-top, humorous parody of Friday the 13th, involving a costumed victim, a Jason rip-off, and, believe it or not, a UFO.

The Ransom of Rusty Rex - Two desperate would-be kidnappers get a whole lot more than they bargained for when they try to take a millionaire's trick 'r treating son hostage.

Bad Seed - a killer goes on a rampage during Halloween, but it takes the novel form of a sentient (and bloodthirsty) jack o' lantern. Kind of reminded me of Halloween III (the one without Michael Myers).

And there you have it - take it or leave it. I hope you've had a haunted holiday, and if I don't see you sooner, I imagine I'll meet you back here next Halloween!

Halloween 2017

I'm a little out of practice, but here's what I watched for Halloween this year:

The Void (2016) - a Lovecraftian horror with shades of Silent Hill, Hellraiser, and creature effects that would do justice to John Carpenter's The Thing. You never know what you're going to get when going into a horror film - a stylistic tour de force or a cheap 'b' flick. While seeming like the latter, this fortunately leans more toward the former. A group of small town nobodies is besieged in a local hospital by hooded cult-like figures. But rather than a routine run-around hack-and-slash, themes of occult medical experimentation, dark gods, and dimensions to alternate realities are the rule of the day. Recommended.

The Babysitter (2017) - A geeky adolescent finds his courage as he struggles to survive when a night with the babysitter turns unexpectedly homicidal in this campy horror-comedy that was (to my disappointment) more suburban slasher than Satanic ritual. Nevertheless, it's got the style and the humor to be a throwback cult teen movie. Samara Weaving nails the hot-to-trot babysitter with a heart of gold (and also a dark secret), even if she doesn't make as convincing a baddie. For people who prefer fun over scary movies for their Halloween viewing.

Cabin Fever (2002) - Eli Roth (of Hostel fame)'s cult classic tongue-in-cheek horror about the outbreak of a flesh-eating virus in a backwoods setting, starring Rider Strong (Boy/Girl Meets World's own Shawn Hunter). Irreverently self-aware, this movie pokes fun at many horror tropes, while competently bringing the gross-out (no surprise there, given Eli Roth's reputation). I've never been prejudiced against "gorror" movies, but I do have to admit that I'm losing my stomach for them, and I have to say I was easily distracted while watching this one, and lost a lot of interest as lunch time loomed near.

American Fable (2016) - Good, in spite of its flaws. Tries to be a surreal, "modern day fairy tale" (think Pan's Labyrinth), but is too rooted in reality to get its feet off the ground (it wasn't really the movie I thought it was going to be from reading the description). The plot, however, is as compelling as it is a damning portrait of the lows to which its farmers stoop to save their lifestyle from urbanization (or something). The acting is a little wooden, and some of the characters are unrealistic caricatures (perhaps this was intentional), but young Peyton Kennedy is a vision of radiance and worth the price of admission alone.

Mindhunter (2017) - Not a movie, but a series, and a Netflix original, at that. Was introduced to it from a blurb in Time magazine of all places. It sounded interesting, so I gave the first episode a watch, and was instantly hooked. It's fantastically written, acted, and directed, based on the experiences of the guy who literally wrote the book on criminal behavioral science and (I'm guessing) invented the term "serial killer". The series depicts upstart FBI agent Holden Ford's crusade to redirect the bureau's efforts from trying to hunt inscrutable evil (and always staying one step behind), to learning to predict deviant behavior by studying the criminal mind first hand - by interviewing convicted killers, some of whom are disturbingly captivating. Also costars Anna Torv, formerly of Fringe. I cannot recommend this series highly enough.

The X-Files - S10:E5 "Babylon"

[ S10:E4 "Home Again" <<< Season 10 >>>  S10:E6 "My Struggle II" ]

For better or worse (and I'm leaning toward better), this episode seems to split the difference between being one of Chris Carter's musical comedies, and a serious freak-of-the-week about a Muslim terrorist cell (how's that for some bread-and-butter FBI work?) that manages to intrigue even as it skirts dangerously close to the border of racial insensitivity (Scully's one-off remark about how not all Muslims are terrorists barely qualifies as lip service). You know, I never used to think of this show as being conservative, but lately...

And on that note, can I say that I liked Chris Carter's writing better before he found God, and his pretentious monologues were about things like environmentalism, the progress of man's evolution, and intelligent life in the universe? Because he uses this episode's subject of killing in the name of God to posit more religious questions (as opposed to those conspiracy questions), about man's capacity for love and hate. Please, when he settled on the concept of a mother's love as man's saving grace, I think I vomited in my mouth a little bit.

Speaking of which, shall we talk about Mulder's mushroom trip? Actually, it wasn't too bad, in the grand scheme of things. Certainly better than him dancing in front of the mirror in Dreamland. I was a little disappointed by The Lone Gunmen's cameo (you can barely call it that), however. I remember when I thought this revival was going to shake things up, and discard the junk in the original series' trunk, in order to revive the spirit and flavor of the earlier episodes. But no, no retconning here. Just a lot of wallowing in inescapable plot points that dragged the end of the original series down.

(This episode isn't actually about William, but half of this season's episodes have been, and I just want to point out the irony of the writers throwing William away in the ninth season because they didn't want to be burdened with him going forward, only to find themselves dealing with the aftermath of it now, after all. If William had stuck around, it wouldn't have been so bad - he could have been some cool alien hybrid or something. And if he never showed up in the first place, or if the writers chose to simply ignore the fact that he ever existed, I'd be fine with that, too. But I'm sick of all this wallowing. I hope it ends, one way or another).

So, in what I think is supposed to be the funny category for this episode, we are introduced to two young FBI agents who seek Mulder and Scully's help on the terrorism case, who could well be their doppelgangers. It's not the first time Chris Carter has played around with this idea (although the last time occurred in an episode not worth mentioning). I'm probably in the minority of longtime X-Files fans, but I think I would actually be more interested in seeing a reboot of the series with new actors in the iconic roles, than continuing to watch David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson in The Middle-Age Files. Sacrilege, I know. DD and GA are The X-Files. But if anything, this new series has proved that you can never step in the same river twice. And now you might call me a conservative, but it wasn't a continuation of The X-Files that got me excited for this revival, it was the idea that they were going to revive what made it good in the first place.

Now I feel like a grumpy, old man who's just complaining about how much better things were in "the good, old days". Honestly, hindsight is 20/20 and all that, but I wonder if I wouldn't have enjoyed this revival more if I hadn't just spent seven months watching the original series start to finish, and went in instead only going off of nostalgia and fond, faded memories. Because, to me, it hasn't been...what, eight years since Mulder and Scully were together working a case? 14 years since the series went off the air? And a good 18 years or more since the series was in its heyday? I just watched all of that stuff inside of the last year. So maybe some of the distance of age and time that informs these episodes, and the actors' portrayal of the characters, is lost on me. Because when Scully apes Mulder's first line to her in the pilot when inviting the two young agents into the basement office in this episode, I think it's cute, but I'm not melting.

Anyway, next week is the finale. In my mind, this series could very well live or die by it. Although I'm not expecting anything radically different from what we've gotten in the past five episodes.

Memorable quotes:

Agent Miller: Hello, anybody down here?
Scully: Nobody but the FBI's most unwanted. (I've been waiting 23 years to say that).

Mulder: It's a legitimate question.
Agent Einstein: There's a legitimate answer - no.

Agent Miller: I believe so many answers lie beyond the pale of the normal world in realms of extreme possibility.
Scully: I believe that you believe.

Mulder: I saw things, though, Scully - powerful things. I saw deep and unconditional love.
Scully: I saw things, too. I witnessed unqualified hate, that appears to have no end.
Mulder: How to reconcile the two?

The X-Files - S10:E2 "Founder's Mutation"

[ S10:E1 "My Struggle" <<< Season 10 >>>  S10:E3 "M&S Meet the Were-Monster" ]

Spoiler Warning: This review may contain minor spoilers from this episode and from the series' mythology. But nothing major like the last episode.

Written (and directed) by James Wong, I honestly couldn't tell you if this was supposed to be a mythology episode or a freak-of-the-week episode - I guess I'll just have to mark it down as half and half. It doesn't pick up directly where the last episode left off (I'm guessing we'll have to wait till the season finale - though only four more episodes away - to conclude that story thread), but it does seem to concern itself with an update of the whole "alien hybridization" program the government is apparently still up to, and there are significant allusions made to William (who, nonetheless, does not appear, except in some confusing flashbacks to events that couldn't possibly have happened, and may represent Scully and Mulder's wishes and fears for the life they could have had had they not given William up for adoption when he was just a baby).

At the same time, the episode generally follows the freak-of-the-week formula, with an opening "teaser" that concludes with a brutal death (involving a high-pitched noise that is reminiscent of the one heard in Vince Gilligan's Drive), that precipitates the case that Mulder and Scully go on to investigate throughout the episode. There is even a scene of Mulder and Scully waving their flashlights about, but what the episode lacks is a good monster - especially touching, as it does, on the series' go-to subject matter of genetic mutations. The best it does is a gallery of freaks suffering from abnormal conditions, but they are only children locked up in the research facility run by this series' latest incarnation of a government-employed mad scientist. It all ties in to the experimentation with alien hybrids, but with a touch of the flavor of the ninth season mythology's inclusion of paranoid mothers (for better or worse).

I don't know if I would say that this episode is a vast improvement over the last one. I may have even liked the last one better. I haven't seen anything yet that's made me go "oh my god, this is awesome, I'm so glad The X-Files is back on TV!" But next Monday Darin Morgan's episode airs, so we'll have to see what that one's like. My overall impressions remain - I don't think I like watching TV in HD (or digital, or whatever it is that's making the show look so slick and clean). It just doesn't look right. I don't need to see every pore on every character's face. Even more so because it's kind of sad to see these three characters (Mulder, Scully, and Skinner) getting old. By the way, what's up with Gillian Anderson's voice? It's kind of distracting. Anyway, this may be a revival, but it's definitely not a repeat of the classic years of the show. I'm wondering right about now how other people (fans and non-fans alike) are receiving it - whether or not they're liking it, and whether or not it'll be popular enough to keep the series going past this 6 episode event. I'm not convinced yet that it should, but I'll withhold judgment until I see the rest of the miniseries, and at the very least, Darin and Glen Morgan's episodes coming up in the next two weeks.

Memorable quotes:

Lindquist: Unhand the hard drive, sir.

Scully: This is dangerous.
Mulder: When has that ever stopped us before?

Sister Mary: Desire is the devil's pitchfork.

Mulder: All we can do, Scully, is pull the thread. See what it unravels.

Scully: What you're talking about is changing the genetic makeup of a population. That's the next step in evolution.
Mulder: Every new species begins with a founder's mutation.

Jackie: They said I killed my baby. I didn't. I let him out.

Kyle's Mother: Bad things happen when the birds gather...

The X-Files - S9:E12 "Underneath"

[ S9:E11 "Audrey Pauley" <<< Season 9 >>> S9:E13 "Improbable" ]

Now this is like what the last season was putting out - classic, dark X-Files representing a return to form. If this season had had more episodes like this one (and less like Lord of the Flies, not to mention the mythology), surely it would have rated higher, or at least could have been labelled an underrated season like 8 was, instead of the confirmation of the show's rapid decline post-Duchovny that it was. This episode's credit goes to John Shiban (one third of the power trio that includes Vince Gilligan and Frank Spotnitz), both for the writing, and for his directorial debut. It's a great episode for Doggett, about the release of a man that he fingered for murder (albeit on circumstantial evidence) back when he was in the NYPD 13 years ago. This event is depicted in the unsettling opener, which effectively captures the fractured psyche of a serial killer - if he really did kill those people. Now, DNA testing has exonerated him, and he's set to walk. But not if Doggett has anything to say about it. He's too close to the case to view it from an objective standpoint, but leave it to Reyes to provide a paranormal explanation involving transubstantiation (unsurprisingly - given the writing this season - involving religious overtones), that could possibly explain the man's guilt despite not leaving any clues tying him directly to the murders, and maybe not even realizing it himself. This is easily one of the highlights of an otherwise underwhelming season.

Memorable quotes:

Doggett: I can't just sit here and wait for this guy to kill again.

Doggett: A cop I know - a man I respect deeply - told me one time, you don't clock out at the end of your shift unless you know you did everything you could.

Bob Fassl: I pray all the time. I pray even when it looks like I'm not praying.

Doggett: You know that what you're sayin's impossible.
Scully: And yet, somehow, it's true.

Damon Kaylor: This isn't about the truth. This is about getting a conviction, Agent Doggett. And if we can't get a conviction, then the truth doesn't matter.

(In other words, the truth is no good without proof).

The X-Files - S9:E11 "Audrey Pauley"

[ S9:E10 "Providence" <<< Season 9 >>> S9:E12 "Underneath" ]

If 4-D - also written by Steven Maeda (imagine that) - is anything to go by, the "domesticated" scene between Doggett and Reyes that opens this episode (warning: UST) is a sign that something tragic is about to befall. And, sure enough, Reyes gets into a car accident and subsequently has an extended near-death experience. This is one of my favorite subjects for supernatural drama, and while it was touched on (in a mythology capacity) earlier on this show in both One Breath and The Blessing Way, it seems well suited to the wishy-washy belief system of Reyes' character. Like in the little-known movie Sublime, she wakes up in an empty hospital (with some unsettling touches, like the doctors' charts all typed up in gibberish), but she's not alone.

This would have been a great opportunity to do a Reyes-only episode (obviously the creators weren't willing to take that risk, although at this point I don't think they had anything to lose), but it actually works really well with Scully and Doggett on the other side of the supernatural divide. Trusting her medical instincts, Scully is convinced that Reyes - brain-dead in a coma - is a goner, but Doggett (like Mulder before him) won't accept that diagnosis. As a result, he undergoes a meaningful character evolution, considering the explanation for his skepticism given in last season's Empedocles, as he must put his faith in the paranormal in order to believe in the possibility of saving Reyes' life. And he's got to rush against a rather macabre deadline, as well - for the doctor on call is suspiciously eager to divvy up her organs and dish them out to the hungry vultures waiting on the donor lists.

This is a great little episode - surely one of the highlights of the season. The floating hospital effects are a little hokey, but that's not a serious complaint. I liked the mousey, titular character, although given her chronic lack of self-confidence (albeit sadly not entirely unfounded), I would have liked to have seen her be the one to stand up to the villain in the end, realizing that she had the power to do good all along. But, then, this is The X-Files, and happy endings (at least for the guest stars) are rare.

Memorable quotes:

Mr. Barriero: Have you ever been dead? So how do you know you're not?

Stephen: I didn't say this was heaven. For all I know it's...it's hell.

Reyes: You can't die if you're already dead.

Scully: They're coming to say goodbye.
Doggett: Well, they can say hello instead.

The X-Files - S9:E4 "4-D"

[ S9:E3 "Daemonicus" <<< Season 9 >>> S9:E5 "Lord of the Flies" ]

I don't expect the streak to last, but so far, this season has been steadily improving since its lackluster premiere. This episode is even better than the last. And if it's the best standalone episode of the season, then I'll be satisfied that the season has at least one episode I can comfortably recommend. It starts with a pretty neat opener, in which a man with the apparent ability to teleport - to disappear and reappear at will - manages to land a critical hit on both Doggett and Reyes while in the line of duty. One can't avoid wondering about the nature and origin of his abilities, the likes of which we've never seen on The X-Files before. Things get even weirder when an uninjured Reyes has an "encounter" with Doggett following the accident (in a rare glimpse into their off-duty lives - although dammit, is there going to be UST between every pairing on this show now?), and you're not sure if she's having some kind of a psychic vision, or if the freak-of-the-week is not only playing with space, but time as well. Regardless, it's not a good sign for Doggett - who spends the episode in the hospital in critical condition - when Scully reminisces about a similar vision she had in Beyond The Sea.

More so than Daemonicus, this is the episode where Reyes gets her turn to shine. And I have to say, I'm starting to like her. She'll never be a satisfying replacement for either Mulder or Scully (which is the same position Doggett is in), but at least she's not an obnoxious character like Diana Fowley, whom I can't even stand. On that note, this episode features the recurrence of Cary Elwes as A.D. Brad Follmer, who was ostensibly a mythology character up to this point. Although, I don't know if I'm just getting used to him in this role, but he didn't feel quite as out of place this time around. His sliminess almost seems to suit his perfectly coiffed appearance. (Plus, he's a great shot)! As for this week's freak, played by Dylan Haggerty (who reminds me of a grimmer version of Darin Morgan in Small Potatoes), he's a real creep, but in a good way. When we see him sharing a twin size bed with his elderly mother, I'm thinking, "god, it's no wonder he enjoys escaping into alternate dimensions." The episode resolves by exploiting a twin paradox that is far more effective than what we saw in Fight Club. Never before has returning to the status quo ever been so heart-breaking.

Memorable quotes:

Reyes: It doesn't make any sense. None of it!

(I think it's amusingly ironic that I was putting the pieces together in my head just as Reyes was saying this).

Reyes: How do you do it? You know what I'm talking about, don't you? There's this world, and there's the world where you live out your sick fantasies.

The X-Files - S8:E17 "Empedocles"

[ S8:E16 "Three Words" <<< Season 8 >>> S8:E18 "Vienen" ]

Spoiler Warning: This isn't strictly a mythology episode, but it deals with some of Agent Doggett's back story, so keep that in mind, as this review will contain spoilers.

Yes, we finally get to explore Doggett's back story - specifically, some of the details involving the case of his lost son, Luke. The boy was killed, and Doggett and Reyes never caught the killer. But it's not the killer (who dies before the opening credits roll) so much as his spiritual legacy that this episode concerns itself with. In the opener, a man is fired from his job, and then literally gets fired when, after witnessing a car chase end in a fiery explosion, the burning victim gets up and walks through him, metaphorically infecting him (as Mulder explains it later in the episode) with evil. He then turns around and shoots the boss that fired him just moments before. A local detective thinks the killing involves a Satanic ritual, based on the fact that the prime suspect owned a Marilyn Manson CD. Which is funny, but it's a pretty specious excuse to get Agent Reyes involved in the case. (As an aside, we hardly know Reyes, and we're not invested in whether or not she quits smoking. So I can't help wondering what the point of those scenes with the nicotine gum is)...

Reyes makes a connection to the killing of Doggett's son via a psychic vision, but, not wanting to open old wounds, she calls Mulder for assistance, instead. Likely still bitter from being denied reinstatement on the X-Files, Mulder is at first uninterested - until Reyes mentions the connection to Doggett's past (then his ears perk right up). One can't help seeing the reluctant Mulder/Reyes pairing as a kind of counterpart to Scully/Doggett, especially when Mulder initially acts like the skeptic to Reyes' believer, paralleling the similar about-face that Scully performed while working with Doggett (though thankfully, this doesn't last). As we'll see, this episode is very much about the line between skepticism and belief, as it explores the reason behind Doggett's vehement opposition to the paranormal. When he flies off the handle and assaults Mulder after learning that he's working a case involving his past, it feels like an unreasonable reaction - even more so than Mulder's treatment of Doggett in the last episode. But Robert Patrick brings enough pathos to a later scene explaining Doggett's resistance that it justifies his intensity, saving that story thread.

For her part, Scully ends up back in the hospital in this episode. Which is a little bit disappointing, but it's not like she can be in the middle of the action anyway, given how far along her pregnancy is getting (though I don't imagine that story thread will be resolved until the season finale). There are some pleasant scenes between her and Mulder, at least, although they more remind than resurrect the mood of the great partnership that used to drive this show. Although Mulder and Doggett are still alternately at each other's throats - in what feels at times like a forced rivalry akin to that constructed between Mulder and Agent Spender (who could have been friends under different circumstances), albeit with more animation - they again find some level of reconciliation by episode's end. I don't buy Scully's claim to Mulder that she likes Agent Reyes, after their thorny interactions in This is Not Happening, but it's worth noting that Reyes ultimately gives Doggett the same explanation for them all being haunted by the specter of his son's disappearance that Scully gave him in Invocation. The real climax of the episode, however, is its thrilling and ultimately open-ended conclusion in the hospital.

Wish you were here...

Memorable quotes:

Scully: I was just about to jump in the shower, but I was waiting for the pizza man.
Mulder: You got something going on with the pizza man I should know about?

(It's nice to have Mulder's casual humor back - but he totally sells this exchange by reading his lines in complete seriousness - it's funny because it doesn't feel like a joke).

Mulder: The pizza man is not above suspicion.

Katha Dukes: I believe that we're all born good - uncorrupted - and life itself does the corrupting.

Doggett: You never believed in any of this stuff - this...paranormal whatever-you-call-it. So what changed your mind?
Scully: I realized it was me. That I was afraid - afraid to believe.

(This is consistent with her statement in Beyond The Sea. Although, clearly, realizing it then wasn't enough to change her habits).

Mulder (to Reyes): I think there's an opening coming up in this office soon, you might want to apply.

(I hope this isn't a prophecy).

Mulder: You can't help a man who can't help himself.

Mulder: I began to think about evil like a disease - you know, that it goes from man to man or age to age. Most of us walk around thinking that we're incapable of any acts of evil, and we are - we can stifle that momentary urge to kill, or to hurt. We have some kind of immunity to it. But I think it's possible that there's...an occurrence in somebody's life - a tragedy, or a loss - that leaves them vulnerable, hurts their immunity to evil, and all of a sudden, at that point in their lives, when they're weakened, they're open to evil. And they can become evil.

(That's when evil slips on in).