Aliens Among Us?

Coming hot on the heels of the latest installment in the Alien series (Alien: Romulus) is a new TV series slated for release next year, titled Alien: Earth. I'm holding out hope that it will be good, but making the choice to do a prequel set on Earth doesn't inspire a whole lot of confidence. It's the same mistake that the Alien vs. Predator movies made. Setting such an early precedent for the presence of xenomorphs on Earth not only undermines the considerable effort to which The Company will later go to procure a specimen at the edge of the galaxy, but also effectively neutralizes the tension created in the original movies, built around the urgent need to keep this threat from reaching our home planet.

"If those things get back here, that will be all. Then you can just kiss it goodbye."
- Ripley, from Aliens

Certainly, you could write a script that keeps the action quarantined, where the monster is eradicated and nobody lives to tell the tale (or at least, nobody believes them). I don't doubt that this strategy would keep production costs down. But why write yourself into a corner, when there are still stories to be adapted that take place in the aftermath of the encounter on LV-426 - when the aliens not only eventually reach Earth, but completely colonize it? Imagine a post-apocalyptic landscape with xenomorphs instead of zombies or marauders! Or, if you'd really prefer to fill in holes, instead of continuing the story, I'm dying to see a depiction of Newt's harrowing ordeal, from the time that Burke orders her parents to investigate the derelict ship, through her survival as the aliens take over Hadley's Hope, until the space marines finally show up. You'd have to find an exceptionally talented young actress to do it, but I've seen a few over the years that could have pulled it off.

This comic is a good start, but it kind of glosses over the best part
in favor of retelling Aliens from Newt's perspective (partly).

Regardless of whether or not you preserve the timeline's continuity, bringing the xenomorphs onto a 21st century Earth erodes their mystique. I'll tell you why. Although I did not dislike Prometheus and Alien: Covenant, they've basically established as canon (as clear as I can figure) that the xenomorphs are an artificially-engineered biological weapon. Speculating from a scientific perspective, this is interesting, but not as captivating in my opinion as the alternate hypothesis that our encounter with these creatures essentially functions as an interstellar equivalent of the fatal mistake that Tolkien's dwarves made when they dug the mines of Moria.

"Too deep we delved there, and woke the nameless fear."
- Glóin, from The Fellowship of the Ring

If you've ever read Wait But Why's discussion of The Fermi Paradox, you'll be familiar with the concept I am describing. This paradox can be summarized by a simple question: if space is filled with stars, then why is the night sky so dark? Or, more to the point, is there anybody out there? In the vast expanse of the cosmos, shouldn't there be other intelligent lifeforms? Then what's with all the radio silence? Well, one possible explanation is that other beings are smart enough to keep their mouths shut - they don't want to announce their presence, because they know what's out there, and they're afraid it will find them!

As the premise for a cosmic horror story, I love this idea. Rather than a bio weapon, I'd prefer to think of the xenomorphs as an eldritch abomination lurking at the edges of the universe (or at least our galaxy). As our technology advances, and we begin to probe further into the depths of space, searching for more resources to deplete, we may - if we are not careful - encounter this denizen of chaos, birthed from the void, that strikes terror into the hearts of men. Not only does it put our individual lives in jeopardy, it poses an existential threat to our entire species. But if you toss it into our metaphorical backyard without lasting consequence too many times, it begins to lose its teeth (or inner jaws).

While we're on the topic of missteps in the ongoing Alien saga, I have to bring up one of Alien: Resurrection's many sins, because Alien: Romulus veered in the same direction toward its end; it's the only significant criticism I have for that movie. I can understand The Company's desire (however misguided) to harness the xenomorph as a weapon, but creating an alien-human hybrid? What is this, The X-Files? (There's even a black oil involved in the alien's lifecycle now!). The reason this plot point bothers me (aside from the fact that it deviates the monster from H.R. Giger's inspired design) is because it violates the original conception of the xenomorph - as I understood it in my youth - as a parasitic organism that takes on properties of its host. In other words, the typical xenomorph we're used to seeing in these movies is already the "human form" of the alien!

That's why, in Alien 3, when the creature hatched from a dog, it had more canine characteristics. It's the conceptual basis for the entire line of Alien toys that I collected as a child - which featured bull aliens, snake aliens, gorilla aliens, etc. Part of what makes the xenomorph the "perfect organism" is that it assimilates the genetic code of its host, picking out the most adaptable traits. I guess we saw a little bit of this evolution in Prometheus and its sequel. But if bio-engineered, it's more of a Frankenstein's monster run amok, than a naturally occuring phenomenon - like a cosmic storm, that cannot be effectively fought, only sought shelter from. All that said, I was able to enjoy AvP: Requiem, despite essentially being a suburban slasher set in the unremarkable year of 2004. So all hope is not yet lost!

Alien: Romulus (2024)

I just saw the new Alien movie today, and it was good. Very much a return to form. Effectively paid homage to the classics, melding elements from the original films, while gently innovating to keep the film feeling relevant and not simply redundant, but without being too jarring to the mythos. I like that they kept the "working class sci-fi" perspective, and it was interesting to explore in a new way the prejudice against synthetics. Andy was a great character, giving the filmmakers an opportunity to convey the grey area involved with making difficult moral choices. At the right times, he managed to be intimidating while still remaining sympathetic.

I lost a little bit of interest in the climax, where the inspiration from Alien: Resurrection was strongest. And since you can't help making comparisons to earlier films, I was distracted by the disparity of wardrobe in the final, post-bedtime arc. It makes you wonder how a movie that relies on body horror, and whose creative vision was guided by an artist who shocked the world by marrying sex with death, can be so gymnophobic. We have to watch the xenomorph crawling out of what, by all accounts, appears to be an alien vagina (actually, that was pretty cool), but we don't get to see the female lead in her skivvies? What kind of dystopian future are we living in?

But, that's a pretty superficial complaint. Overall, I enjoyed the movie very much.

Split (2016) & Glass (2019)

I remember being hesitant to see this movie when it came out. Not because of the controversial reputation of its director (M. Night Shyamalan has had some hits and some misses, but I respect his talent and creativity), but because dissociative identity disorder is such a tricky subject, that hasn't had the best representation in the past. But here, James McAvoy sells it (keeping in mind that this is fiction, not a psychological documentary). And Anya Taylor-Joy is radiant as always.

I really liked how M. Night effectively turned what is, on its surface, a horror movie about three girls who are abducted by a maniac with a split personality into (ending spoilers!) an origin story for a new supervillain in the Unbreakable universe. I thought that was really clever. The only thing I could have done without is the lazy molestation back story. But other than that, I enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to watching Glass next.

---

I'm not the biggest fan of conventional superhero movies. It makes me sound like a hipster, but the MCU doesn't thrill me - and that was true even before they began to bore the public with a never-ending stream of cookie-cutter blockbusters. I prefer movies that deconstruct the concept of superheros. I liked Kick-Ass, and I liked The Watchmen. It wasn't, "what would a world with superheros be like", it was "what would superheros be like in the real world we inhabit?" I think that's why Batman is my favorite conventional superhero - he doesn't even have superpowers, just a lot of money. Well, that and the gothic atmosphere. But that's what I liked about Unbreakable. What if a real person, in the real world, found out he was indestructible?

Split was good because it functioned well as a horror movie, while also expanding the universe of Unbreakable by adding a crucial new element. Going into Glass, I was hoping to see what M. Night Shyamalan's take on a "conventional" superhero movie would look like. Instead, it spends entirely too much time trying to convince us (itself?) that these superheroes/villains are just delusional. I mean, it's an interesting concept - one of my favorite episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer was the controversial one that successfully argued the posibillity that Buffy was a mental patient and everything was going on in her head. I suppose it could have made for an interesting movie if I wasn't hoping for something different.

Knowing that it's almost certainly part of M. Night's M.O. to bait and switch the audience prevents you from committing to the conceit (it's not one of his more successful deceptions). At this point in the trilogy, I've already signed on to these characters being actual superheros - let them loose! For a filmmaker who has made unpredictability his signature, perhaps the biggest twist of all would have been to do something conventional for a change. And that's what I wanted to see. But, even if I didn't love it, I'll still give M. Night credit for trying to be original. When you chew somebody up and spit them out just for going out on a limb and falling, it discourages them from daring to do it again. And that leads to an industry that runs on stale predictability.

Alien (1979)

I can still remember the first time I saw the movie Alien as a child. It was playing on TV, on one of those perfect summer evenings, where it stays light long after dinner. There's something about the experience of settling in to watch a horror movie while it's still light out, and then having twilight descend, leaving you in the dark of night by the time the credits roll. The movie's sequel, Aliens - the epitome of the rare, successful sequel, raising the stakes while employing clever innovation over the familiarity of thematic repetition - undoubtedly had a larger impact on my childhood, but this is where the nightmare started. And when I say "nightmare", I mean that literally.

From the slow and misdirectingly eerie opening crawl (in all its retro-futuristic glory); the down-to-(ironically)-earth depiction of blue collar life among the stars (a stellar presentation of plausible characters that feel lived-in); the atmosphere of fear and paranoia that develops (second only to John Carpenter's The Thing) when an unfamiliar alien lifeform is discovered on a cold and forbidding wasteland of a planet; to the shock and visceral terror of the xenomorph's startling appearance - a scene unrivaled in cinematic history; and then the inspired biomechanical design of the creature, thanks to the now late visionary artist H.R. Giger, which taps into our fears of sex and technology and our own bodies and - as a young child with arachnophobia - the primal terror of an eldritch predator, sleek and black, that moves uncannily and lurks in dark corners and tunnels, waiting to strike its prey without warning; all building up to the climactic finish, with its flashing lights and hissing shadows, leaving viewers breathless and on the edge of their seats as so many movies promise, but so few can actually deliver.

Directed by Ridley Scott, Alien is so effective that it manages to transcend the label of a slasher film - even though that's exactly what it amounts to on paper - elevating itself to the level of sci-fi/horror legend. And for the fortieth anniversary of its initial release, I'm going to watch it again - in a movie theater for the first time!

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Spoiler Note: If you're like me, and would prefer to go into this movie without too many elaborate preconceptions, then you're probably not even reading this to begin with. Nonetheless, I will keep this review very light on spoilers, focusing more on overarching themes and my personal reactions than intricate plot details (because if you need to know who does what when, then you can just watch the movie, am I right?).

Alien: Covenant isn't the Alien movie I was hoping to see (although, to be fair, I think what I want is to be an impressionable kid discovering Alien for the first time all over again, and that's just impossible), but it's a thrilling and satisfying followup to 2012's Prometheus. Covenant is less the devastatingly raw horror of Alien (although it has some very tense moments), and more the high-concept science fiction of Prometheus, tackling such existential themes as creation and destruction, the purpose of life, and what happens when a life form meets its maker (and - like its immediate predecessor - for a movie with Biblical themes, it's not overbearingly preachy). However, the classic xenomorph does make its unambiguous debut this time around, and the movie answers many (if not all) of the frustrating questions that Prometheus raised, especially regarding the nature of the creature and how it relates to what we've seen in the past.

That having been said, I don't think I like the "broad daylight" CGI (the white-skinned "neomorphs" were a little too stereotypical del Toro-esque digital movie monsters; and the much talked about flute scene seemed to be trying too hard to impress the audience in a "look at me!" sort of way) as much as the bump-in-the-night practical effects that 1979's Alien was forced to employ. The xenomorph ought to be stalking its prey from the shadows, not being drawn out into the open. Furthermore, while learning about the genesis of the creature is a truly fascinating study - here's a clickbait title for the movie: who engineered the "perfect organism"? The answer may surprise you! - I think this is a case where mystery prevails over curiosity satisfied. Although it makes a lot of sense for the xenomorphs to be a kind of biological weapon, I find it scarier to imagine that they are a natural phenomenon, a dark force of nature existing in remote corners of the universe, to terrorize and haunt anyone who dares probe too far into the deepest reaches of space. Call it a Lovecraftian interpretation.

Regardless, for anyone who enjoyed Prometheus, Alien: Covenant is an exciting continuation of that story thread, even if I don't consider it the equal of the original series, which started with Alien, was expanded upon in Aliens, and concluded in Alien 3. There have been some more and less crappy titles in the interim (yes, I actually watched Alien: Resurrection again, and I still think it's a piece of crap not worth your time - nobody could say I didn't give it a fair chance), but one may be reassured that Ridley Scott's return investment in Prometheus/Covenant has restored some grace to the franchise. It is not clear yet precisely how these movies dovetail with the original encounter on LV-426 in Alien (there was a moment that was close in Prometheus, but then it was snatched away), leading me to wonder if these movies are not intended to be a fresh start - recycling some of the elements of the earlier movies, without being burdened by the limitations of connecting up with what's come before. But the timeline of these movies is marching towards the opening of Alien, and it appears that there is room for another potential title to follow Covenant. Only time, I guess (and box office figures?), will tell.

The Truman Show (1998)

Spoiler Warning: Nearly two decades old, I feel that the statute of limitations on spoilers for this movie is pretty much up, and this is not a movie that guards its secrets to begin with. Still, this review will contain spoilers, and so if you'd wish to remain perfectly naive as to this movie's premise or conclusion, you probably shouldn't read any further.

It's always nice when a movie you probably should have watched a long time ago, but just never made the effort, turns up on Netflix. The Truman Show, starring Jim Carrey, relies on a terrific premise - what if we took reality shows to the next level, and constructed an unscripted drama around the life of a star who doesn't realize he's even on TV? It's a great idea, although I think that the movie could have been far more effective as a mind-bending sci-fi, focused on playing with our understanding and expectations of reality. As such, its treatment of the obvious ethical issues involved with such a reality show are fairly superficial, and its criticism of TV audiences is hampered by the film's overall glib tone. I suppose I didn't really appreciate the comedic approach, which distracts from the drama inherent to the premise. I like Jim Carrey well enough as an actor, but I think he does comedy better than drama.

I was actually a bit surprised that, instead of keeping it a "twist" that this unsuspecting man's life is a TV show, they pretty much opened the movie with it. Obviously, that kind of a secret would be hard to keep for long (as anyone who didn't see The Sixth Sense on opening weekend must surely know), and I have a hard time believing anyone sitting down to watch The Truman Show at this late a date wouldn't realize that it's a movie about a staged reality. But that doesn't mean that such an approach wouldn't be worthwhile. In fact, I think it would have made for a stronger movie. Keep the revelation under wraps until the moment that Truman sails into the ocean barrier. Up to that point, the movie would be a psychological study of a man so bored with his normal, everyday life, that he starts questioning his own sanity. Coupled with subtler hints here and there (like the police frequency broadcast, and the stage elevator - but less blatant and more ambiguous), the viewer wouldn't be sure whether the reality he's being presented with is artificial, or if the perspective of the lead is just losing its grip on that reality.

I mean, one of the most powerful scenes, for me, was when Truman started suspecting that something was off, and he was stopping traffic on main street, potentially drunk with the sense of power that comes from believing that the whole world revolves around you. This could have been a fascinating study of solipsism. Until, finally, not just the protagonist's mindspace, but reality itself starts to fall apart around him, and he discovers, in the end, that his fevered conversation with "the creator" in the sky is actually the director of a television show, and that his entire life since he was born has been constructed as a convincing artifice. That would have been a truly brilliant movie. (I wonder if there's a cut of this movie - maybe a fan edit - that removes all of the behind-the-scenes and audience reaction shots. Although I'm not sure how effective it would be, given all the blatant spycam perspectives in use). This is not that movie. Still, it's not a bad way to kill a couple of hours.

The X-Files - S10:E6 "My Struggle II"

[ S10:E5 "Babylon" <<< Season 10 >>>  ?????? ]

Last week I said this season could live or die by its finale, but the truth is, it was already dead in my heart. It probably died six weeks ago, when the premiere failed to live up to my expectations. I don't want to see Mulder and Scully looking and sounding so old. I don't want another excuse for why the Smoking Man has escaped death and found another way to play the megalomaniac yet again, and I don't want to watch The X-Files in hi-def, with super-slick CGI. What I wanted was a revival of the good old days, and that's most decidedly not what this is. This isn't The X-Files seasons 2-5 revisited, this is The X-Files season 10, the one that comes after 9 (except that everybody's fifteen years older). The only bit of it that's worth watching, honestly, is Darin Morgan's episode - Mulder & Scully Meet the Were-Monster. Treat it like a one-off canonical modern spoof of The X-Files featuring the original actors, and forget that it's part of a dubious "revival".

Spoiler Warning: Yeah, the rest of this review is going to contain spoilers.

I suppose I should talk about the finale. To start with, it feels a little weird that all this stuff happened in the premiere, and then Skinner's like "do something about it", and reopens the X-Files (like, what kinda difference is that supposed to make?), and then they detour for four weeks, after which all of a sudden, pow! - time to wrap up those story threads! It's like they took a classic two-parter, but instead of sticking them together, they wedged a few episodes in the middle.

Tad O'Malley is back, but he exists literally to do nothing more than spout exposition on his little webshow. Sadly, Sveta did not survive that car crash like I hoped she would. Agents Miller and Einstein are back, too. I neither loved them nor hated them in Babylon, but they feel kinda like set dressing here, in spite of driving major plot points (because Scully could have done that science herself, and Mulder could have saved himself from the Smoking Man if the writers had so willed it). Weirdly, there's a non-cameo by a nameless thug who could well have been Alex Krycek's stand-in - to hell with plot consistency, they should have just brought him back! Oh, and Agent Reyes turns up. It's nice to see her again, actually (though it's a pity Robert Patrick wasn't available), but she doesn't do much of consequence either, except try to make excuses - both for being absent for the past decade, as well as why she made a deal with the devil (the way a certain Agent Fowley did once before her).

On the plus side (I guess), there are a lot of explanations in this episode, and we do finally get that global invasion (of sorts), that's been a long time coming (but don't expect to see any aliens on this show). We get to see how the Smoking Man was pieced back together after being incinerated (no matter how final that death seemed to be). And we learn a little more about the alien's plans. Or the conspirators' plans. Whichever. The aliens are indeed working in a The Day The Earth Stood Still capacity, intent on wiping out mankind before it becomes a danger to the rest of life in the universe. The Smoking Man, having made a deal with those aliens, holds the trigger to the device that will wipe humanity out. It's moderately clever - involving a global contagion in the form of not a disease, but actually a genetic invader (finally giving a purpose to all those hints about smallpox vaccinations in the original series) that deactivates a person's immune system, effectively making them susceptible to just about any disease on the face of the planet. They call it "the Spartan virus".

Scully and Einstein share a scene that's weirdly homoerotic.

Anyway, there's a lot of time spent in the hospital, as the world falls apart in a very Outbreak-like scenario (that we've all seen a million times before). Mulder has a confrontation with the Smoking Man (like we've all seen a million times before), that ends with neither one of them dead or in any different a position regarding their feelings for each other than they were before (other than the absence of any pretext obscuring the fact that the Smoking Man is indeed Mulder's father). And the episode closes on a dubious ending in which Scully runs through the streets to save Mulder's life by injecting him with the alien DNA inside of her (courtesy of her abduction experiments) that renders her immune to the Spartan virus. She babbles something about him needing stem cells (all of a sudden), that can only come from their absent son, William. Does this mean Mulder's doomed? Cue the deus ex machina, in the form of a UFO hovering above them, inside which I'll be damned if William isn't waiting.

Except, that's the end of the episode. Just like that. It's not even really a cliffhanger - you can't put "to be continued" if there's no guarantee that there will ever be any more episodes. (The tagline that replaces "The Truth Is Out There" at the beginning of this episode ominously - but probably insincerely - reads "This Is The End"). Except that Chris Carter had dispensed with using "to be continued" for his season finales going all the way back to Requiem in season 7 (season 5's The End, if you count tie-ins to movies - hint, hint). Frankly, I think he's gotten too comfortable with the uncertainty of knowing whether the series will continue or not. At least back then, his finales had a sense of closure, even as they left certain questions unanswered. Here, it's like a foregone conclusion that the story will continue - and that may well be the case, but it's still a pretty dickish way to end the episode and the season.

(On second thought, the last time a UFO appeared out of nowhere, it was to kill somebody else with alien DNA. What an ending that would have been if Mulder and Scully had been obliterated by the aliens as the human population teetered on the brink of extinction. As depressing as that would have been, it would have been a much better ending than simply cutting off right there, leaving us all guessing. Hmm, I smell headcanon).

Honestly, though - by this point, I'm just not that invested. I'll definitely watch if there are more episodes coming in the future (frankly I think doing one last big movie to end the series once and for all would be the best move). Maybe I'll even start to like it better now that I no longer have any expectations to be dashed against the rocks. In any case, this has been one hell of a long ride, starting back in June of last year, when I embarked on my series-long marathon. I'm damn exhausted, man, and let me tell you, I'm pretty much sick of reviewing X-Files episodes right now. It's time I had a vacation.

Did I mention that Scully's an alieum?

Memorable quotes:

Tad O'Malley: What may seem like science-fiction, but is science fact - the legitimate and verifiable discovery of alien DNA that's in virtually every American citizen.

(See, this is one of the things that really bugs me about this series. Misdirection is fine, and it's entirely understandable that characters will acquire faulty information and then spread it around like the truth - sometimes deliberately, in the case of the villains. But it gets to a point after a while, that this device has been used so much, it becomes frustrating. I know one of the major, underlying themes of this series is "trust no one", and that you often can't take people at their word. But given that so much of the show's mythology has been actually explained in dialogues that felt disingenuous (like the Well-Manicured Man telling Mulder just "what he wanted to hear" in Paper Clip - despite it also being the absolute truth), it makes an already muddled mythology that much harder to piece together. Come to think of it, the villains are more consistently trustworthy than the good guys - Mulder's informants included. In this case, you're clearly supposed to be strung along by this idea that every American citizen possesses alien DNA - which also dovetails with the whole "alien astronauts"/"more human than human"/"everybody has inactive DNA inside of them that comes from aliens" plot that we've encountered before. And yet, later in the episode, we learn the critical fact that not everyone has alien DNA - only a select few (like Scully, and Sveta) - and that having that DNA isn't what's causing the coming plague, it's actually the cure for it! In other words, Tad O'Malley's "legitimate and verifiable" discovery is complete baloney. Well, that just pisses me off).

(Also, later, they test Scully's DNA, and the alien DNA isn't there. But then they re-test it once more, and boom! - there it is. This could be a lesson on double-checking your work, but it really just feels like unnecessary padding).

Scully: While we share a faith in science, I have come to the understanding that the science that we were taught takes us but a distance towards the truth.

(I like Scully better as a skeptic than a believer, but it's a wonder she hasn't taken this perspective from the start. One of her greatest moments as a scientist was in End Game, where even if she didn't understand the alien toxin that was killing Mulder, she used science to save his life. Scientists aren't usually so hubristic as to assume that science has explained everything. A scientist might claim that science can eventually - or theoretically - explain everything. But just because a scientist encounters something that science hasn't explained, doesn't mean that the scientist will dismiss its existence out of hand - unless it's a well-established hoax, as most paranormal activity is in the real world (but not, as we've seen, in the world of the X-Files). No, in the face of apparent evidence suggesting the existence of "extreme possibilities", a scientist wouldn't stubbornly shut her eyes, she would get out her lab equipment and study it, in the hope of logging documented evidence of the phenomenon, and maybe extend science's reach a little in the process - just the sort of thing that might win a scientist academic esteem - especially if said scientist had previously tarnished her reputation by joining a paranormal investigative division. It would be the proof to redeem her decision in the eyes of her superiors who look down on her).

(Also, I know Scully is Catholic - to her detriment - but I don't like the phrase "faith in science". Faith is something you have in the absence of evidence. The whole point of science is that it backs itself up. You don't need to trust it, because whether it's right or wrong, it'll let you know either way. So rather than faith, one should have confidence in science - not as the truth, but the most reliable method that will lead to the truth).

Smoking Man: You see a man lying here - a seemingly weak man. But I am the most powerful man in the world.

Smoking Man: The world will go on - just in my image, instead of God's.
Reyes: You think you can play God?
Smoking Man: No, not God, certainly.

Smoking Man: Every man has his weakness. Mine was always just...cigarettes.

Smoking Man: Neither you nor I could save mankind from self-extermination.

Mulder: So you plotted your end game?

Smoking Man: I just changed the time table. Everyone still dies in the end.

Smoking Man: The ultimate irony: the defeat of the big-brained beasts by the tiniest, unthinking microbes.

(War of the Worlds much?)

Tad O'Malley: It would now appear...we go out...with a whimper...a frightful, deafening silence.

The X-Files - S10:E5 "Babylon"

[ S10:E4 "Home Again" <<< Season 10 >>>  S10:E6 "My Struggle II" ]

For better or worse (and I'm leaning toward better), this episode seems to split the difference between being one of Chris Carter's musical comedies, and a serious freak-of-the-week about a Muslim terrorist cell (how's that for some bread-and-butter FBI work?) that manages to intrigue even as it skirts dangerously close to the border of racial insensitivity (Scully's one-off remark about how not all Muslims are terrorists barely qualifies as lip service). You know, I never used to think of this show as being conservative, but lately...

And on that note, can I say that I liked Chris Carter's writing better before he found God, and his pretentious monologues were about things like environmentalism, the progress of man's evolution, and intelligent life in the universe? Because he uses this episode's subject of killing in the name of God to posit more religious questions (as opposed to those conspiracy questions), about man's capacity for love and hate. Please, when he settled on the concept of a mother's love as man's saving grace, I think I vomited in my mouth a little bit.

Speaking of which, shall we talk about Mulder's mushroom trip? Actually, it wasn't too bad, in the grand scheme of things. Certainly better than him dancing in front of the mirror in Dreamland. I was a little disappointed by The Lone Gunmen's cameo (you can barely call it that), however. I remember when I thought this revival was going to shake things up, and discard the junk in the original series' trunk, in order to revive the spirit and flavor of the earlier episodes. But no, no retconning here. Just a lot of wallowing in inescapable plot points that dragged the end of the original series down.

(This episode isn't actually about William, but half of this season's episodes have been, and I just want to point out the irony of the writers throwing William away in the ninth season because they didn't want to be burdened with him going forward, only to find themselves dealing with the aftermath of it now, after all. If William had stuck around, it wouldn't have been so bad - he could have been some cool alien hybrid or something. And if he never showed up in the first place, or if the writers chose to simply ignore the fact that he ever existed, I'd be fine with that, too. But I'm sick of all this wallowing. I hope it ends, one way or another).

So, in what I think is supposed to be the funny category for this episode, we are introduced to two young FBI agents who seek Mulder and Scully's help on the terrorism case, who could well be their doppelgangers. It's not the first time Chris Carter has played around with this idea (although the last time occurred in an episode not worth mentioning). I'm probably in the minority of longtime X-Files fans, but I think I would actually be more interested in seeing a reboot of the series with new actors in the iconic roles, than continuing to watch David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson in The Middle-Age Files. Sacrilege, I know. DD and GA are The X-Files. But if anything, this new series has proved that you can never step in the same river twice. And now you might call me a conservative, but it wasn't a continuation of The X-Files that got me excited for this revival, it was the idea that they were going to revive what made it good in the first place.

Now I feel like a grumpy, old man who's just complaining about how much better things were in "the good, old days". Honestly, hindsight is 20/20 and all that, but I wonder if I wouldn't have enjoyed this revival more if I hadn't just spent seven months watching the original series start to finish, and went in instead only going off of nostalgia and fond, faded memories. Because, to me, it hasn't been...what, eight years since Mulder and Scully were together working a case? 14 years since the series went off the air? And a good 18 years or more since the series was in its heyday? I just watched all of that stuff inside of the last year. So maybe some of the distance of age and time that informs these episodes, and the actors' portrayal of the characters, is lost on me. Because when Scully apes Mulder's first line to her in the pilot when inviting the two young agents into the basement office in this episode, I think it's cute, but I'm not melting.

Anyway, next week is the finale. In my mind, this series could very well live or die by it. Although I'm not expecting anything radically different from what we've gotten in the past five episodes.

Memorable quotes:

Agent Miller: Hello, anybody down here?
Scully: Nobody but the FBI's most unwanted. (I've been waiting 23 years to say that).

Mulder: It's a legitimate question.
Agent Einstein: There's a legitimate answer - no.

Agent Miller: I believe so many answers lie beyond the pale of the normal world in realms of extreme possibility.
Scully: I believe that you believe.

Mulder: I saw things, though, Scully - powerful things. I saw deep and unconditional love.
Scully: I saw things, too. I witnessed unqualified hate, that appears to have no end.
Mulder: How to reconcile the two?

The X-Files - S10:E4 "Home Again"

[ S10:E3 "M&S Meet the Were-Monster" <<< Season 10 >>>  S10:E4 "Babylon" ]

Spoiler Warning: This is actually another half-mythology episode. Not full-mythology, but half-mythology. Mostly William-related stuff. There will be some spoilers.

Well, as I suspected, this episode did lean more toward the horror, but aside from that, it was less a straight-up monster-of-the-week than a counterpart to James Wong's episode, Founder's Mutation, in that it was really a half-mythology episode, with the mythology elements once again relating to an absentee William, and the psychological after-effects of his adoption on Mulder and Scully (especially Scully), just further reinforcing my opinion that they should have dropped the whole William thing and pretended it never happened, instead of dragging it up in order to respond to fans' criticism that Mulder and Scully haven't expressed an appropriate quantity of grief for losing the miracle son they made together. (It's like the writers are engaging in penitent self-flagellation for their handling of the William story thread, when they just need to get over it already).

If there's one thing I can say about this new season so far, it's that it's very consistent. Unfortunately, it's not consistently good, just consistently mediocre. I guess that's better than being consistently bad, but it's still less than I had gotten myself excited for. In spite of the title, this episode is less an homage to one of Morgan & Wong's greatest monster-of-the-week episodes ever - Home (a murder scene set to the cheery song "Downtown" comes closest, but actually feels more like the disjointed tone of The Post-Modern Prometheus, when the Great Mutato dances up the stairs to a Cher soundtrack) - and more of a hodgepodge of themes that run the gamut from such questionable episodes as The Jersey Devil, Kaddish, and Arcadia. The monster du jour - dubbed the Trashman, and obviously taking cues from Clive Barker's Candyman - is some kind of disgusting golem willed to life by a graffiti artist, who kinda reminds me of the killer in Surekill, but tromps around like the one in Salvage, ripping people apart limb from limb.

That this mediocre "spooky" case is buttressed by a parallel story line in which Scully administers to her mother following a heart attack (in what shall presumably be Sheila Larken's last appearance on the series - though it's a wonder she'd survived this long) should be its saving grace, except for the fact that that other story thread isn't all that interesting - or as emotionally devastating as it should be. References to another one of Morgan & Wong's greatest episodes - this time of the mythology variety, One Breath - only reinforces how much better that episode was (as well as how much younger the actors were back in 1994).

The subject of William (also the name of Scully's brother, who plays an absentee role via the phone without actually being there - much like Mulder did in the ninth season of the original series) is ham-fisted in, prompting another flashback to Scully's birthing scene in Existence. There is also a final scene on the beach that reminded me of Doggett's moment in Release, and while that was one of the better episodes of the previously final season, it begins to show how much these new episodes are burdened with the weight of the latter part of the original series, instead of bypassing all that baggage in order to resurrect what the show was at its prime (which is what I thought and hoped this revival was going to do).

I also felt that the theme of people treating other people like trash was a little heavy-handed, and the fact that Scully's desire to will something into being was then turned into a central theme re: breathing life into a golem, and bringing William into existence, was a bit overbearing. There were some creepy bits to the episode, but nothing that's going to make it stand out in the annals of time. Only two episodes remain in the season, and both of them were written by Chris Carter. Only the finale has been officially designated a mythology episode, so I'm just hoping next week's episode isn't one of Carter's directorial experiments (à la The Post-Modern Prometheus, or Triangle, neither of which I liked all that much), or one of his notoriously fumbling approaches to comedy. Time will tell.

Is that...Lake Okobogee?

Memorable quotes:

Scully: Where was the victim found?
Detective Dross: Still here. He's there, and uh, his head...is in the trash can here.
Mulder: Not even in the proper recycling bin.

Scully: I don't care about the big questions right now, Mulder. I just want one more chance to ask my mom a few little ones.

Scully: You're a dark wizard, Mulder.
Mulder: What else is new?

Mulder: Federal agents! Open up! If you're in danger, we're here to help.
Voice: I am in danger! Now go away.

Scully: I believe that you will find all of your answers. You will find the answers to the biggest mysteries, and I will be there when you do. But my mysteries, I'll never have answered.

(What, are you fishing for sympathy here, Scully? "My grief is bigger than yours!" Even with the blind adoption, I have a hard time believing that knowing whether William's okay is a more unanswerable mystery than all the crap Mulder's been chasing for most of his life, especially after all of the non-answers, misinformation, and retroactive continuity they've been exposed to).

(And another thing, this exchange smells faintly of sexism. Men want to unlock the secrets of the universe, but women only care about how their kids are doing? It reminds me of a scene from Scrubs: "Most women end up in OB-GYN, Family Practice, or Pediatrics. It's like a rip-tide, sweetheart - pulling and pulling, and you can swim against the current all you want; but when Mr. Stork comes a-calling, you're not gonna be thinking, 'I'm Internal Medicine' - nope. It's gonna be, 'Ohhhh, look at the baby!'")

(By the way, does William even still need protecting, now that the Super Soldiers have been erased from canon and the alien agenda totally scrapped and re-written? (Apparently, when "the date [was] set" for the invasion, it was only penciled in). Or am I asking questions I'm not supposed to be asking?)

The X-Files - S10:E3 "Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster"

[ S10:E2 "Founder's Mutation" <<< Season 10 >>>  S10:E4 "Home Again" ]

This episode marks Darin Morgan's triumphant return to The X-Files (I could just imagine the thunderous sound of applause echoing from people's homes the nation over when his name appeared on screen). And while I would rate it more on the level of a War of the Coprophages, with the goofy humor of Humbug, than a masterpiece like Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space' or Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose, I don't doubt that it will receive plenty of (mostly well-earned) accolades from critics and viewers (if the side-splitting laughter of the person I watched it with is any indication).

This is classic Darin Morgan, mixing self-referential humor and parody with depressive misanthropy (less deconstructing the series than life itself), taking clever advantage of a novel twist on the concept of the "were-monster" in order to make more than a few well-placed jabs at the inherent absurdity (and disappointing nature) of the human condition. Exploiting the opportunity to poke fun at the underlying premise of the show, Darin depicts a disillusioned Mulder almost bored of chasing phantoms that rarely hold up under scientific scrutiny (increasingly so as time and technology march forward), while Scully is finally warming up to the work and almost relishes the giddy promise of going monster-hunting.

And to all the fans who have ever complained about Mulder not just whipping out a phone and taking photographic evidence of all the paranormal phenomena he encounters (although this issue was already somewhat addressed in Quagmire), this episode sees Mulder more than wizened up, chasing after the monster with a phone camera instead of a gun (or flashlight), to humorous - but otherwise ultimately unproductive, you'll note - effect.

In-jokes abound in this episode, from a tribute to one of the series' mainstay directors (the late Kim Manners, whose "colorful phraseology" infamously inspired the character of Detective Manners in Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'), to Mulder once again appearing in a red Speedo (more than twenty years later). The two unforgettable stoners from War of the Coprophages and Quagmire ("dude, you made me drop my toad") return for another appearance, clearly demonstrating that they've been doing little else besides whittling away their entire lives getting high. And, yes, there is even a mention of Queequeg!

In one scene, Mulder carries on an entire conversation without letting Scully get a word in edgewise - because he anticipates every one of her responses. But it actually feels funny, and reverential, unlike Chris Carter's self-conscious attempt to mix up the proceedings in season 7's Fight Club, which just felt tired and uninspired. Though I still haven't gotten used to seeing David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson looking (and at times sounding) so old, their chemistry in this episode is at a seasonal high-point (even if we're only three episodes in - yet this is the halfway point). It's a shame that had to be true for the comedy episode, but the actors always did seem to enjoy themselves and let loose more than usual in those.

I'm not really one of those fans that likes the funny episodes, generally. But I freely concede that Darin Morgan is a smart guy, and I appreciate his cynical perspective on life. So with any Darin Morgan episode, for me, it's all in the balance of the wit - between the humor and the wisdom. And this episode, though brilliant, leans a little too heavily toward the goofy. In contrast, it looks like next week's episode is going to be straight-up scary (finally!), so I'm looking forward to that. Leave it to Glen Morgan to truly take us "Home Again".

Memorable quotes:

Mulder: You see one serial killer, you've seen 'em all.

Psychiatrist: It's easier to believe in monsters out there in the world, than to accept that the real monsters dwell within us.

Guy Mann: I now possess the one Darwinian advantage that humans have over other animals - the ability to BS my way through anything. I mean, it's better than camouflage!

Guy Mann: Life's hopeless. A few fleeting moments of happiness, surrounded by crushing loss and grief. Why bother?

Guy Mann: I don't know how it works; I'm not a scientist.
Mulder: I'm just looking for some kind of internal logic.
Guy Mann: Why? There isn't an external logic to any of it.

Mulder: So, Hamlet is not just calling Horatio an ignorant idiot, he's calling us all ignorant idiots?
Guy Mann: It's a comforting thought, isn't it? Because if there's nothing more to life than what we already know, then there's nothing but...worries, self-doubt, regret, and loneliness. Fox, man, you've gotta put me out of my misery. I don't wanna wake up tomorrow and have to go to work!

Mulder: I got a little taste of my old monster-huntin' ways, and then I downed the whole bottle.
Scully: I take it you found your were-lizard.
Mulder: Yeah, it turns out it wasn't a man who turns into a lizard, it was a lizard who turns into a man.
Scully: I don't see the difference.

Guy Mann: Woah, I'm not a reptile - that's racist!

The X-Files - S10:E2 "Founder's Mutation"

[ S10:E1 "My Struggle" <<< Season 10 >>>  S10:E3 "M&S Meet the Were-Monster" ]

Spoiler Warning: This review may contain minor spoilers from this episode and from the series' mythology. But nothing major like the last episode.

Written (and directed) by James Wong, I honestly couldn't tell you if this was supposed to be a mythology episode or a freak-of-the-week episode - I guess I'll just have to mark it down as half and half. It doesn't pick up directly where the last episode left off (I'm guessing we'll have to wait till the season finale - though only four more episodes away - to conclude that story thread), but it does seem to concern itself with an update of the whole "alien hybridization" program the government is apparently still up to, and there are significant allusions made to William (who, nonetheless, does not appear, except in some confusing flashbacks to events that couldn't possibly have happened, and may represent Scully and Mulder's wishes and fears for the life they could have had had they not given William up for adoption when he was just a baby).

At the same time, the episode generally follows the freak-of-the-week formula, with an opening "teaser" that concludes with a brutal death (involving a high-pitched noise that is reminiscent of the one heard in Vince Gilligan's Drive), that precipitates the case that Mulder and Scully go on to investigate throughout the episode. There is even a scene of Mulder and Scully waving their flashlights about, but what the episode lacks is a good monster - especially touching, as it does, on the series' go-to subject matter of genetic mutations. The best it does is a gallery of freaks suffering from abnormal conditions, but they are only children locked up in the research facility run by this series' latest incarnation of a government-employed mad scientist. It all ties in to the experimentation with alien hybrids, but with a touch of the flavor of the ninth season mythology's inclusion of paranoid mothers (for better or worse).

I don't know if I would say that this episode is a vast improvement over the last one. I may have even liked the last one better. I haven't seen anything yet that's made me go "oh my god, this is awesome, I'm so glad The X-Files is back on TV!" But next Monday Darin Morgan's episode airs, so we'll have to see what that one's like. My overall impressions remain - I don't think I like watching TV in HD (or digital, or whatever it is that's making the show look so slick and clean). It just doesn't look right. I don't need to see every pore on every character's face. Even more so because it's kind of sad to see these three characters (Mulder, Scully, and Skinner) getting old. By the way, what's up with Gillian Anderson's voice? It's kind of distracting. Anyway, this may be a revival, but it's definitely not a repeat of the classic years of the show. I'm wondering right about now how other people (fans and non-fans alike) are receiving it - whether or not they're liking it, and whether or not it'll be popular enough to keep the series going past this 6 episode event. I'm not convinced yet that it should, but I'll withhold judgment until I see the rest of the miniseries, and at the very least, Darin and Glen Morgan's episodes coming up in the next two weeks.

Memorable quotes:

Lindquist: Unhand the hard drive, sir.

Scully: This is dangerous.
Mulder: When has that ever stopped us before?

Sister Mary: Desire is the devil's pitchfork.

Mulder: All we can do, Scully, is pull the thread. See what it unravels.

Scully: What you're talking about is changing the genetic makeup of a population. That's the next step in evolution.
Mulder: Every new species begins with a founder's mutation.

Jackie: They said I killed my baby. I didn't. I let him out.

Kyle's Mother: Bad things happen when the birds gather...

The X-Files - S10:E1 "My Struggle"

[ I Want To Believe <<< Season 10 >>> S10:E2 "Founder's Mutation" ]

To cut straight to the point of this review, I'll say from the outset that my overall impression of the first episode of this new miniseries is...lukewarm. Maybe I got my hopes up a little too high expecting it to be insta-classic X-Files, just add water. But it's only the first episode, and there's still time to improve. Besides, a lot of this episode seems to be setting up, getting us back into the groove. Perhaps we'll have Mulder and Scully shouting each other's names and waving their flashlights around more in the monster-of-the-week episodes. Regardless, I'm eagerly anticipating the episodes by Darin Morgan, Glen Morgan, and James Wong.

Spoiler Warning: The rest of this review is going to contain spoilers, both for this episode, and for much of the mythology of the series, to which this episode begins a new chapter.

So, my first impression as the episode began was that it didn't look or feel like classic X-Files. It's all very modern (and not just because of the hashtag in the corner of the screen). I see heavy usage of digital effects, and I'm not sure how comfortable I am about that. One advantage it may provide (although I've never been prejudiced against men in rubber suits), is that perhaps this series will actually have some aliens in it for the first time in like forever. Despite what I said during my marathon back around the time I reviewed the first movie, the series never really switched over to alien-alien characters. Right up to the end we were still dealing with alien replicants and Super Soldiers that looked, to the viewer's eye, entirely human.

And now we have an alien pilot crawling from the wreckage of a crashed UFO (Roswell, 1947, if I'm not mistaken). But it doesn't look like the crashed UFOs we've seen before. It's less esoteric - less glowing lights and men in hazmat suits, and more a broken saucer sticking out of the ground. In the first of many throwbacks to the series' earlier mythology, we see a presumed government agent executing the alien pilot, in accordance with Security Council Resolution 1013 (as alluded to by Deep Throat in E.B.E., and then addressed more explicitly in Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man).

I think the thing I like best that this episode has done, conceptually speaking, is restructure the entire conspiracy around which the show hinges. Even if that requires considerable retconning (one of the more eye-rolling examples of which is changing the date of the alleged alien apocalypse, as discovered in The Truth, to the date of the start of a countdown). The episode hearkens back to the fifth season's mythology quite a bit, even insofar as ostensibly placing Mulder in a position of doubt (initially). But while there has been alien contact, it is not the aliens that are the threat, but the government alone. Acting in a The Day The Earth Stood Still sort of capacity, the aliens have been drawn by mankind's achievement of nuclear warfare, and ever since 1947, the government has been stealing alien technology and hiding it from the public (creating ARVs - Alien Replica Vehicles, like the UFOs we saw in the episode Deep Throat), in a long-term plan to take over the world.

At least, that's what conservative talk show host Tad O'Malley (Joel McHale) is convinced of. And in true X-Files fashion, it's not altogether clear who one should trust. But Tad wants Mulder and Scully on the case, for obvious reasons, what with their background in fighting the conspiracy. It's not an easy sell, although, much like in I Want To Believe, Mulder seems more readily drawn to the action than Scully, who is again seen working as a doctor at Our Lady of Sorrows. Tad has been in contact with an abductee by the name of Sveta (a radiant Annet Mahendru), who appears to be exhibiting mind-reading abilities similar to those that Gibson Praise has demonstrated. Scully determines that she does indeed possess alien DNA, but then, as an abductee herself, she does, too.

Another thing that I think I like about this episode (in spite of myself) is how convincingly it seems to depict Mulder's obsession in an unhealthy way. I've always defended Mulder, and he'll probably turn out to be right yet again, but it really does start feeling like he's gone off the deep end. It doesn't help that he's getting older, and going gray, yet rambles (frequently only just barely coherently) more and more with the passing years. Tad - young and coiffed though he is - doesn't seem to be helping things, with his ultra-paranoid mentality (almost reaching levels witnessed in the episode Trust No 1; I daresay even The Lone Gunmen would call him crazy - and that's saying something).

No, don't kick it, Mulder!

As the episode opened, it was immediately clear that this series is sticking to its UFO-centered subject matter. But it really hammers on the paranoid conspiracy talk. A lot of it coming out of these characters' mouths sounds as obsessively paranoid as it would coming out of anyone's mouth. Similar to the fact that the best argument against conspiracies is that people are messy and prone to error, the fact that technology exists for perfect surveillance doesn't mean that we have the human resources (or inclination, necessarily) to use it that way. Just as the possibility of being seen when you pass a window doesn't mean that somebody will necessarily be looking at the instant you pass, the fact that there's a security camera on the street corner doesn't necessarily mean that you are or ever will be witnessed walking past by any human eyes. Similarly, Google may save all your emails, but somebody's still got to sit there and read through them all, and who has that kind of time?

Obviously, this isn't an argument against standing up for our privacy, because even if it's not ubiquitous, if the capability exists, there will be cases of people taking (selective) advantage of it. Power corrupts, and all that. Plus, if you throw into the mix the knowledge that computers are getting smarter, there may conceivably come a time when a machine could be up to the task of spending the necessary man hours (which would be considerably fewer computer hours), as well as an AI sophisticated enough to parse meaningful information. I guess, then, the important thing is a proactive defense of our privacy, laying the framework now, before it's too late (and the machines - or those that control them - take over)!

Which, I guess, is what's at the heart of the mythology in this episode. (And if it can engender this much discussion, maybe the themes are more on point than I realized). Questions still remain - as is ever the case when Chris Carter puts pen to paper. Who is in charge of this conspiracy? Besides the Cigarette Smoking Man, I mean - although his appearance raises even more questions. Like, how did he survive being incinerated to his very skeleton? He looks better now than he's looked since his surgery in Amor Fati, although he's never been as cool since he's had to smoke his cigarettes through a stoma. But if everything we thought we knew about the conspiracy - the Syndicate's plans, the aliens' agenda - is wrong, then there are a lot of contradictions that are going to need to be ironed out, unless we're being asked to ignore an awful lot of what this series has already laid out. Which I wouldn't be unwilling to do, but it would be helpful to know whether or not that's the case here. (And a brief reference to William would indicate that we're not completely jettisoning canon yet).

Anyway, I think the success of this episode will depend largely on how the rest of the miniseries plays out. And there's really not any other way that could be. The episode ends with the X-Files being re-opened (Skinner appears in a minor role that as yet may not do justice to the main credit he's nonetheless rightfully earned - otherwise, the opening credits sequence has been returned to the classic one, much to my relief), but in spite of the long passage of years, it doesn't feel as exciting (or as natural) as it did when it happened in Ascension, or at the end of Fight The Future. Anyway, it was a foregone conclusion, regardless, and as I mentioned above, I'm looking forward to seeing how this new series handles the monster-of-the-week episodes. (Me, looking forward to a Darin Morgan episode more than a mythology episode? My, how times have changed!).

Memorable quotes:

Mulder: We must ask ourselves: are they really a hoax? Are we truly alone, or are we being lied to?

(Great setup for the alien business, even if it doesn't feel as convincing as it did in the '90s - I'm not sure if it was the times, or just my youthful naiveté. Either way, the rest of this episode unfortunately undermines the pull of this opener by suggesting that the threat hanging over us is not in fact alien, but entirely human).

O'Malley: Do you miss it at all - the X-Files?
Scully: As a scientist, it was probably some of the most intense and challenging work I've ever done. I've never felt so alive.

Sveta: Who can I trust? They would call me a liar when they're the liars!

Mulder: Scully, listen to me. I've been misled - we've been misled. What if everything we've been led to believe in is a lie? What if there is no alien conspiracy?

(So, The X-Files was its own biggest conspiracy all along? I'd be more impressed if this ground hadn't already been tread in Gethsemane).

Mulder: You owe me some answers.
Skinner: Will you just...calm the hell down, Mulder - before we both get pissed off?

(Like old times).

Skinner: Since 9/11, this country's taken a big turn in a very strange direction.
Mulder: They police us, and spy on us, tell us that makes us safer. We've never been in more danger.

Informant: You weren't even close. Warring aliens lighting each other on fire, and other such nonsense.
Mulder: I was being cleverly manipulated.

(We were all being manipulated. Apparently. By Chris Carter).

Informant: Tell me something new.
Mulder: Alien technology being used against us. Not by aliens, not with aliens, but by a venal conspiracy of men against humanity.

Informant: The lies are so great, Mr. Mulder, the truth must be unassailable.

Informant: Roswell - that was a smokescreen.
Mulder: So I've been told.

(Between this and his reluctance to exterminate an alien pilot, I'd swear this guy is Deep Throat all over again. But without the magnetic presence of Jerry Hardin.)

Scully: I have seen this before. You're on fire, believing that you're on to some truth, that you can save the world.
Mulder: This will finally be their undoing.
Scully: It'll be your undoing, Mulder.

(If this wasn't The X-Files... Scully makes perhaps the most convincing argument yet, that Mulder's quest for truth is really just a symptom of madness. Tilting at windmills. As badly as we viewers want to believe in Mulder, all these years have passed and there is still no hard evidence. Even now, everything we thought we were sure of is evaporating into thin air. I'm almost convinced that the best true finale to this series would have Mulder realizing - or not, but the rest of us would - that there are no aliens, or conspiracies. That he's just insane. I know fans probably wouldn't like that, but I've always been fond of mindfuck endings).

Sveta: Why do such a thing and lie about it? Our own government?
Mulder: Your own government lies as a matter of course, as a matter of policy.

Scully: You can't say these things.
O'Malley: I'm gonna say them tomorrow.
Scully: It's fear-mongering, claptrap, isolationist, techno-paranoia so bogus, and dangerous, and stupid, that it borders on treason. Saying these things would be incredibly irresponsible.
Mulder: It's irresponsible not to say it.
Sveta: Especially if it's the truth.

(I'm not a fan of fear-mongering, but I'm a hard-line free-speecher, so my perspective is, crazy conspiracies like this should live or die by the evidence that supports them - or lack thereof. If Scully really wanted to dissuade them - even if she thought they were just paranoid delusions - she should have emphasized the danger over the "irresponsibility").

Mulder: Scully, are you ready for this?
Scully: I don't know there's a choice.

The X-Files - I Want To Believe (2008)

[ S9:E19/20 "The Truth" <<< The X-Files >>> S10:E1 "My Struggle" ]

Spoiler Warning: The following review may contain some spoilers. But it's not like this is the mythology we're talking about, and it's not that fantastic a movie anyway, so I wouldn't be too concerned.

If my previous review is any indication, I enjoyed this movie more the first time I watched it. Which was over a year after it came out - I had planned to see it in the theater, but it only stuck around for a single weekend (I swear to god), and I missed it. When I did finally see it, like everyone else, it was years after The X-Files had gone off the air. But I hadn't even seen the end of the series; I'd stopped watching (like a lot of other fans) when David Duchovny left the show. So, for me, I Want To Believe was a return to the days when The X-Files was about Mulder and Scully investigating paranormal cases, albeit as viewed from the distance of several years, like the characters (and the actors) themselves in this movie. (This is not the classic Mulder and Scully, but a Mulder and Scully who are alternately lovey-dovey, and alternately dysfunctional - in other words, a combination of their worst traits from the series). My expectations were fairly low. But now, having finished the series, and only just a week ago (and even more so with the revival looming, giving all of us X-Philes the hope of seeing a true return to form), I can say that this movie, while not terrible, is not especially good, either.

This is, inevitably, a very different X-Files movie than Fight The Future. I don't think it's the movie that was originally planned to follow that one up, and it's not the movie we all expected - that we had been promised - when the series finally did end 2-4 years later than originally intended. The movie itself was released four years after its earliest projected release date, and so it became less of a continuation of the television series, and more a chance to revisit two characters that had become a pop culture sensation, long after they'd dropped out of the public consciousness. Mulder and Scully have moved on in their lives - together - he, unshaven and holed up at home with news clippings all over his walls, like some mental patient; and she, pursuing her dream career of being a doctor (albeit at some kind of church hospital - I liked it much better when she was teaching forensic medicine at Quantico, as in season 9). It is only at the insistence of a young hotshot with stars in her eyes (Amanda Peet) for the legend of "Spooky" Mulder that they are dragged back to work a case again.

It's a framing story that's really little more than an excuse to give Mulder and Scully a case to work on, while largely jettisoning all the baggage of the mythology that should be catching up to them, considering that they did end the series on the run from the martial law of alien invaders. Sure, there's an offhand comment about the FBI willing to excuse Mulder if he would just give them some assistance on a random case (begging the question of where all these alien replicants wandered off to), and the subject of William does come up briefly during an intimate bedroom scene. But it's all lip service. No mention of the impending alien apocalypse - there's hardly even a hint of government corruption and conspiracy, despite the events of this movie occurring during the Bush administration. I can understand the need to sidestep all of that in order to do a low-key freak-of-the-week movie, but that's not really the movie I wanted to see. I know that fans had been clamoring for just that for years, but I never saw the appeal in doing an X-Files movie that was basically just an extended freak-of-the-week episode.

The television series had always applied a movie sensibility to its production, and it was really cool to basically see a mini-version of a sci-fi or horror movie on TV every week. But it doesn't really work both ways. The episode Ice, for example, makes for an exciting adaptation of The Thing on the small screen, but expand it to a feature length film, and do you honestly think it could hold a candle to John Carpenter's The Thing? Even with Mulder and Scully involved? I'd rather see an X-Files original concept - the mythology - done into a movie, like Fight The Future. And what's more, Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz, who wrote this movie, were never two of the series' best freak-of-the-week writers. They steered the mythology, but they could have used some help from, say, Vince Gilligan and John Shiban (and that cute tribute to the two of them, along with Rob Bowman, who directed the first film, doesn't cut it). For that matter, Chris Carter directed this film, and I was never super impressed with his directing efforts on the television series, as pretentious as they often were.

So this movie is just a typical X-Files case, but it's not even a particularly good X-File. There are no aliens - that's already been established - but there's hardly anything paranormal, either (I can't tell you how much cooler this movie would have been with a cryptid or a genetic mutant). An FBI agent runs afoul of a black market organ trade in snowy West Virginia (which looks suspiciously like Vancouver - that's one thing this movie did right), and the only reason Mulder is called in is because the agents in charge (a rapper and a fashion model - I swear, it's like she doesn't know how to button her own shirt; not that I don't like the look, but it doesn't really scream "FBI agent" to me) have enlisted the help of a psychic. But this is no Clyde Bruckman. It's not even a Harold Pillar. You know, the first few times Mulder disbelieved in psychics it made sense, because although he's a believer in paranormal phenomena, he's not a sucker, and a lot of psychics are just scam artists. But the more times we see him dismiss a psychic that turns out to be genuine, the less sense it makes for him to keep on distrusting them. But this psychic also happens to be a Catholic priest, and a convicted pedophile (because in this day and age, you can be convicted not just for what you do, but for who you are) to boot. He believes he's being given visions in a bid for redemption, but this has been done better before.

I imagine that Chris Carter must have found the concept of the pedophile priest irresistible. What better archetype to exploit in order to demonstrate a natural distrust of authority? And I can't fault him for it - it's a good idea. But Father Joe is just not a very compelling character (editor's note: I'm not very familiar with Billy Connolly, but judging from the "making of" special feature, he seems like a fascinating personality - that they managed to make his character in this movie so dull is a wonder). I know he's supposed to be despicable, but we only know that he's a pedophile because other people say he is. I'm not saying we have to witness him buggering an altar boy, but give us something (besides praying) to make the character more interesting, more nuanced, so that his desire for redemption engenders conflict in the viewer, and not simply a distanced, dispassionate disdain. It would also make it less frustrating when Scully - who has the most close-minded reaction to him - ultimately believes him when he just happens to tell her the one thing she wants to hear most. (I'm almost tempted to say that he exists only to challenge Scully's faith and compassion, and give Gillian Anderson an opportunity to emote. Although, after all the emotion she's shown in the series, it feels a little dry here. It must be hard under all that plastic surgery).

If you haven't guessed, this movie is not the most sympathetic towards sexual minorities. I'd read one fan's opinion that it was both homophobic and transphobic, so I was looking for evidence of that. Sure enough, the murderous villains are a married gay couple, one of whom wants to transplant his ugly male head onto a female body (because that makes sense). In its defense, its not very sympathetic toward the Catholic church, either, but I could just as soon do with an X-Files that doesn't put so much emphasis on the importance of religion, which is something that increasingly marred the series (and particularly Scully's character) towards the end. It's awfully convenient, as well, that the research involved with the black market organ trade dovetails so nicely with the stem cell therapy that Scully needs to (maybe?) heal the terminally ill boy she's so dedicated to saving (because he's William's age, why else?). Honestly, the movie drags on too long (I guess I made the mistake of watching the extended cut), although it's a treat to see Skinner at the end. I'm less certain about what to make of the final scene, with Mulder and Scully on a boat in a tropical sea, now that it's not the final end to their story. More so if they're really not going to be together in the revival. But, whatever. I've spent enough time on this movie. Bring on the new miniseries already!

Memorable quotes:

Scully: Do you think God hears your prayers?
Father Joe: Do you think he hears yours? ...I have to believe he does hear me, or why would he send these visions?
Scully: Maybe it's not God doing the sending.

Agent Whitney: I'm not the most popular girl at the FBI right now for calling you in, believe me.
Mulder: I wasn't exactly Miss Popularity at the FBI myself.

Father Ybarra: We are here to heal the sick, not prolong the ordeal of the dying.

Scully: I'm lying here cursing God for all his cruelties.
Mulder: And do you think God is losing any sleep?

Scully: This is not about finding an FBI agent, this is about you trying to save your sister!

(When I heard Scully say this, I swear I shouted at the screen, "what?!" They're still hung up on that? It makes even less sense now than it did in Oubliette. It's like Chris Carter is trying to have his cake and eat it too - you can't close the book on the Samantha case and then still use it as a dramatic element. And I'd just like to ask Scully - if Mulder's trauma causes him to want to go above and beyond the call of duty to save other lost girls, even after everyone else has given up, why is that a bad thing? You're only hurting yourself by believing this paranoid obsessive will ever lead a normal life. This is his strength; this is what he was put on this planet to do, if you believe in that sort of thing. So just roll with it).

Agent Drummy: I don't believe this.
Mulder: That's been your problem from the start.

Scully: I can't look into the darkness with you anymore, Mulder. I cannot stand what it does to you, or to me.
Mulder: I'm fine with it, Scully. I'm actually okay. I'm good.
Scully: Yeah, that's what scares me.

(Somebody's been watching too much Millennium. Excellent response, though, Mulder. I'm with you on this one. Scully seems to be fishing for drama).

Mulder: We'll get out of here. Just me and you.
Scully: As far away from the darkness as we can get?
Mulder: I'm not sure it works that way. I think maybe the darkness finds you. And me.
Scully: I know it does.
Mulder: But let it try.