The X-Files - S6:E16 "Alpha"

[ S6:E15 "Arcadia" <<< Season 6 >>> S6:E17 "Trevor" ]

From the pen of Jeffrey "The Rain King" Bell, we get this almost-classic X-File, which serves as sort of the dog version of season 3's Teso dos Bichos. A canine cryptid - supposed to be extinct - shipped from China gets loose in California, and goes on a rampage. We see it as a wolf with glowing, red eyes (say what you will, but given all the humanoid killers this show has featured, it's nice to have one that's an animal for a change). Andrew Robinson (who was the good guy, Larry, in the original Hellraiser) plays a temperamental cryptozoologist, and Melinda Culea plays an otherkin wolf spirit who is a bit of a shut-in, and draws Mulder to the case after meeting him on the internet. Apart from Scully's jealous vendetta, I'd say that her portrayal is fairly sensitive (I may be biased as a fellow antisocial loner, but misanthropy isn't automatically a negative trait in my mind), given the stigma that otherkin have in mainstream culture - despite being a social outcast (which is not necessarily uncharacteristic).

In a meeting of the minds between Mulder and his dog-loving friend, the latter says, "I'm just going by the facts," and it's more proof that the characters of The X-Files simply live in a world where this kind of stuff (a murderous dog with apparent human intelligence and possible shape-shifting abilities) is real. Scully could be less block-headed when it comes to her skepticism and scientific rationalism. I hate it when writers write her as being not just doubtful, but derisive of alternative explanations (and those who hold them). Instead of this attitude: "you believe this? Then you are a subhuman and I am so above entertaining your ridiculous theories," I have only to think of her enthusiasm in the pilot episode when she wasn't afraid to tell Mulder he was crazy, but was still intrigued enough by his crazy theories to go out and investigate them. Truly, the thrill is gone. Of course, in this case, it may be exacerbated by jealousy - but seeing Scully get jealous over Mulder giving any other woman attention isn't much more satisfying. These are some of the worst qualities of these characters. What do we need this kind of idiotic drama for anyway? Need the writers be reminded of the fact that this is not what this show is supposed to be about?

Mulder doesn't get off in this episode, either. I'm noticing a distinct change in his personality, in line with the series' recent change towards a more comedic tone. He's always fired off quips, but he used to be more serious, more critical of the squares who invariably scoff at his wild theories. Now, the humor is more self-conscious, with more of an emphasis on jokes and wacky behavior. Like a man with more confidence in his reputation than his character, he walks on screen like he's getting up on stage to do stand-up comedy. But it's a more low-brow sort of humor - not the kind that suited The X-Files' original reputation as a smart, serious genre enthusiast's television show. Throw the whole Mulder-Scully romance thing on top of that, and I guess that's the casualty of popularity for you - a dumbing down of principles in order to cater to the lowest common denominator...

All that having been said, it's perfectly decent, as far as run-of-the-mill monster-of-the-week episodes go - and it definitely feels more old-school than the majority of the episodes in this season. Plus, I must admit I'm touched by the fact that it features the restoration of Mulder's beloved I Want To Believe poster, that was destroyed at the end of The End.

Memorable quotes:

Mulder: Cryptozoologist?
Officer Cahn: Yeah, they deal with animals thought to be extinct, animals --
Mulder: Animals that aren't supposed to exist, like Sasquatch, or the Ogopogo, the Abominable Snowman...
Scully: Don't mind him, he'll go on forever.

(It would have been funnier if he did actually go on much longer, and list a whole lot more cryptids: Bigfoot, el Chupacabra, the Loch Ness monster, the Jersey Devil, Mothman, the Fiji Mermaid, etc.)

Karin Berquist: Dog eats dog catcher. Story's all over the news this morning. It's sort of uplifting.

Scully: Don't underestimate a woman. They can be tricksters, too.

The X-Files - S1:E19 "Shapes"

[ S1:E18 "Miracle Man" <<< Season 1 >>> S1:E20 "Darkness Falls" ]

Sometimes, "monster-of-the-week" is a figurative term - miracle healers, serial killers, pyromaniacs. Surely, people can behave like monsters. But sometimes, the term can be applied more literally (although even then, the monsters are often humanoid, probably on account of the limitations of the TV budget for special effects). This time, the monster is a kind of werewolf, preying on cattle in Montana, that Mulder traces back to the very first X-File (initiated by J. Edgar Hoover himself), and even further - to legends told by members of the Lewis & Clark expedition about encounters with shapeshifting Indians possessed by evil spirits. This isn't the last time we'll see Native Americans on the show, and notable is the scene where one of them points out the Native American origins of Mulder's first name (Fox).

Memorable quotes:

Lyle Parker: I can feel it. Something not human. Out there, watching me. The air was more still, the night animals more quiet, it was like nature herself was terrified. It gave me the creeps.
Scully: The creeps?
Lyle Parker: Yeah, the creeps. Don't you ever get the creeps?

(Did I mention how much I love the writing on this show? Although credit goes to the actors as well for really selling these lines).

Buffy The Vampire Slayer (Season Two)

Warning: This post contains spoilers from the second season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. If you have not seen the second season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer in its entirety, then continue at your own peril. For a spoiler-free introduction to Buffy The Vampire Slayer, click here.

Season two introduces Spike (James Marsters) - who will become a recurring character through to the end of the series - and his partner Drusilla (Juliet Landau), both vampires. They make a great pair: Spike, with his sadistic British rebel charm (and a look inspired by Billy Idol); and Drusilla, with her willowy voice and prophetic visions. They are the season's Big Bad, although they'll have to share that title with their old friend Angel (David Boreanaz) in the second half.

Season two explores Angel's situation - how he was one of the cruelest vampires in history, going by the name Angelus; how he was cursed by gypsys to have his soul returned to him; and the self-loathing caused by his recovered conscience. I know some people that don't like the Angel character that much, but I've loved him from the start. I guess I see something inspiring in his quest for penitence, trying to make up for the unforgivable crimes he's committed. That theme plays a central role in the coming Angel spinoff (more on that later).

What we also learn about Angel is that part of the gypsy's curse dictates that if he ever achieves a moment of pure bliss (interpreted as sex with a woman he loves), he'll lose that soul again (because god forbid - or rather, the gypsys forbid - Angel should ever be happy, after all the suffering he's caused). Unfortunately for the good guys, Angel has finally found a soulmate in Buffy, and they're getting pretty hot and heavy.

The episode titled Passion, after Angel flips, was one of the first truly memorable and standout episodes in the series. Narrated in voice-over by Angel, it involves the first death (cold-blooded murder, really) in the series of a major sympathetic protagonist. I really like Angel - or, rather, Angelus - as a villain. He's not just concerned with violence and physical torture, but in really making his victims suffer, emotionally. And he enjoys it so much!

Another landmark in this season is the introduction of the character Oz (Seth Green), who quickly becomes a werewolf (albeit a reluctant and sympathetic one), and gradually begins a really tight relationship with Willow. To be honest, I didn't like Oz at first. You'd think I'd relate to him, because he's so taciturn, but I just found it annoying to begin with. However, over time, I really got used to his succinct quips, and he really grew on me.

This season also introduces Ethan Rayne (Robin Sachs), a former friend of Rupert Giles', who provides insight into the latter's past. And, in the Halloween episode we learn that, contrary to popular belief, in the Buffyverse, creatures of the night actually consider it fairly tacky to get up to mischief on the night of Halloween. Although that won't stop the series from doing a few rather fun Halloween episodes during its run (this one involving people turning into the costumes they're wearing).

Continue to season three!

Ginger Snaps (2000)

Reading up on the movies I watch inevitably leads me to ever more movies to watch. And so it is that in the wake of watching The Company of Wolves, I was directed to Ginger Snaps, another werewolf movie that plays on the symbolism of sexual awakening - specifically, the onset of puberty. Unlike the former movie, this one is less an exploration of themes and more a standard narrative. Early on it plays up the similarities between lycanthropy and the changes initiated by menarche, and blurs the appetite for flesh with sexual desire (setting up at least one really good "infection" joke), but instead of maintaining the symbolism, it veers more towards traditional horror fare later on.

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. When the movie started, my immediate impression was that it feels like a cheap modern movie (in contrast to the classic and cinematic feel of The Company of Wolves, which is from the '80s), but it turned out, to my delight, to be actually highly watchable. Much of that is probably due to the dual leads, two teenage sisters, who, as gothic outcasts, are eminently likable (and ironically, much more attractive than the "popular" girls they are bullied by). One of their first orders of business in the film is the presentation of their school project, consisting of photographs of elaborately staged suicides by the both of them, as their response to the theme of "Life in Bailey Downs" (which is the name of the neighborhood they inhabit). Seriously, these girls raise suicide to the level of high art, and the teacher's moral indignation is especially egregious because any true artist with integrity would see - not just the talent of the girls' work - but the genius of their artistic vision.

Anyway, there's a mysterious beast loose in Bailey Downs, that's been knocking off the neighborhood's dogs in gruesome fashion. We never find out where this beast came from, or why it's stalking Bailey Downs, but one of our girls, named Ginger, gets bitten (in)conveniently on the night she gets her first (belated, at the age of 16) period. As it goes, gushing blood, strange desires, hair in unusual places, and monthly frenzies are par for the course for any lycanthrope - or adolescent girl. The rest of the movie deals largely with Ginger's gradual transformation into a confident and sexy young woman, albeit with an unusually violent temperament, and her more sensible sister Brigitte's difficult attempts to stick with her, while often having to clean up after her sister's impulsive messes. The movie grows to a rather tense - if a little drawn out - climax, leading to a sad and heartfelt ending. Ginger Snaps doesn't inspire quite like The Company of Wolves did, but it is entertaining nonetheless, and worth watching for fun.

The Company of Wolves (1984)

The Company of Wolves is my new favorite werewolf movie. Being based on The Little Red Riding Hood, it's more of an allegorical fantasy than a horror movie - which a lot of other werewolf movies are - yet it still manages to be genuinely terrifying. It actually succeeds at conjuring an atmosphere where wolves stalking the woods outside of a village are actually scary again. The cinematography is fantastically dreamlike, which becomes quickly apparent in an impressive nightmare sequence near the beginning of the film.

The story-within-a-story (within a story) structure of the narrative places an emphasis on the themes presented - the symbolism of the wolf as sexual desire, and the anxieties of a young girl entering puberty - rather than the whats and the whys of the characters' lives, which is an element that has attracted criticism from some viewers, but earns my enthusiastic support. Angela Lansbury stars as the old-fashioned grandmother, intent on warning her granddaughter about the wolfish desires hiding within every man. Sarah Patterson (who is remarkably actually 12 in this role) plays the pretty young girl who eventually dons the red hooded cape, with a confidence and curiosity that belies a strength and uncertain knowledge that Granny's outdated perspective on gender relations can't comprehend.

"If there's a beast in men, it meets its match in women too."

In fact, this seems to be one of the themes of this treatment of an ages old tale, which is rife with potential sources of symbolism. The morality is troubled at best, as even though the wolves (those that are hairy on the outside, as well as those that are hairy on the inside) are characterized as a threat, they are at times sympathetic, and almost human. This could perhaps be a statement on the ambiguity of feeling that accompanies one's sexual awakening - that one is taught to fear their animal desires, yet maturity necessitates taking ownership of them, and realizing that one's anxieties often exaggerate the perceived traumas of reality. The story of Little Red Riding Hood is an inspiringly deep wellspring of creative thought, and while no adaptation can comprehensively explore every facet of its interpretation, The Company of Wolves crafts a beautiful, haunting, and thoughtful meditation on some of its central themes.

Red Riding Hood (2011)

Red Riding Hood is, basically, The Little Red Riding Hood adapted for the Twilight generation. It's not a bad movie, but it's not a terribly good movie either. As a fantasy, it's not very convincing. As a drama, it's not very believable. It's too smooth to be very scary, although it works decently as a thriller. But the CG is distractingly obvious - horror requires grit and substance.

The film works best as a mystery - indeed, I was compelled to continue watching largely to find out who turns out to be the wolf. I don't know that it's a good mystery, because though there were many legitimate candidates for wolfhood (Red Riding Hood not excluded, with the woodsman ironically being the most visibly suggestive candidate), I wasn't invested enough in the fantasy world to care about following all the clues and making note of the 'rules' (assuming they're consistent), so I don't know whether it's actually intelligent or just lazy. But it is a mystery that wants solving, even if the paranoid atmosphere recalls much better films that have gone the "killer among us" route.

However, in spite of how it turns out, I'd be just as willing to believe that Father Solomon was running a racket, tricking villages into submission by introducing werewolves that only he knows how to effectively fight. I guess that shows you how unconvincing the characters were, that I'd just as soon believe them to be something else, rather than what the script apparently intends. I find it amusing in a not necessarily constructive manner that this is not the first film in which Gary Oldman has played a character who fights werewolves (harking back to Sirius Black in The Prisoner of Azkaban).

If not effective, it is a pretty film, helped in no small part by the luscious features of Amanda Seyfried as not-so-little Red herself. Although she is gorgeous, and has a more childlike demeanor than most women her age, I couldn't help noticing that she's not as young as her character is portrayed. Though she's not supposed to be a child, as she is in the prologue, when the narration jumps ten years into the future, it looks more like twenty years have passed. And I have a hard time believing that in this [admittedly make-believe] pre-modern era, one's parents would wait until a girl is twenty-five to arrange her marriage, and that, being as beautiful as she evidently is, noone else would have made arrangements of their own long before that time.

Now, I have no problem with an 'adult' telling of Red Riding Hood (actually, the original version is said to have been pretty gruesome already), but I've seen it done better before; and if you're going to make it 'adult', you might as well make it gritty. Red Riding Hood is sensual and romantic, but it's not sexy. It's mysterious and thrilling, but it's not really frightening. And most unfortunate of all, it tends to drag in the way that you feel like somebody had the idea to put their own spin on the story, but it's something that would have been better accomplished in a shorter format (or else with a better script) - here, the less-than-satisfying filling brings down those elements of the story that might actually be clever and/or original.

Trick 'r Treat (2007)

Trick 'r Treat is a nice period piece - not historical period, but seasonal period. It, like not enough films do, perfectly captures the atmosphere of Halloween. Indeed, the enthusiasm with which the town in this film celebrates Halloween makes me jealous that my own town isn't as dedicated to what is my favorite holiday of the year.

Trick 'r Treat is fun, and clever, and also scary. But what really sets it apart is its narrative structure, which has been compared to Pulp Fiction, in that it depicts several different stories involving different characters, occurring more or less simultaneously, all within the same locality, that often overlap. And in trying to capture the Halloween atmosphere, it provides us with a nice hodgepodge of thematic elements that serves as much to honor the spirit of Halloween as to revel in it.

And the greatest element of the story is its reverence of Halloween. The film opens with a Halloween-hater getting her comeuppance at the hands of an unidentified killer - and all I could say in spite of myself was, "this bitch totally has it coming." The rest of the film spends a lot of time showing the gruesome ways in which those who disrespect the holiday, and opt out of honoring Halloween's traditions (it is, as one character rightly explains, a holiday that predates Christianity), are punished, often by a mysterious sack-headed costumer no larger than a child (I suppose we are, ultimately, led to believe that he embodies the very spirit of Halloween).

I have to say, I might not rate Trick 'r Treat as one of the greatest movies I've ever seen, but as a Halloween movie, it absolutely delivers. It captures the spirit of the holiday, and to those of us who love horror and think Halloween is the greatest time of year, it's like a good friend who's there to pat us on the back when everyone around us is complaining about how much they hate Halloween. It's got vampires, and werewolves (hands down, the sexiest werewolf transformation I've ever seen), and ghosts, and serial killers, and zombies. There are Halloween parades and parties, and kids in costumes going door to door. Candy and jack-o-lanterns and Halloween lore. And scares galore!

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

Warning: this review contains SPOILERS from the third Harry Potter movie.

The Prisoner of Azkaban has a decidedly different feel to it than the previous two movies in the series. I figure that has a lot to do with the new director, and the shuffling of scenery at Hogwarts. I'll admit, the atmospheric environment of the shooting location is beautiful, and adds a whole new character to Hogwarts.

I suppose this movie is fairly popular, because nine times out of ten I've seen a Harry Potter movie playing on television, it's been this one. It is both a less childish movie, and one with a more nuanced, self-contained plot. Despite having seen some scenes from it out of context, that really didn't spoil the movie for me because the plot is rather intricate - friends who are enemies becoming friends that transform into enemies... It's all a bit confusing. (Seeing the "confrontation" scene in the Shrieking Shack for at least the third time - this time in context - only slightly helped me to understand just exactly what was going on and who was on whose side). And the time travel further complicates things, though it is a brilliant device. Everyone loves a good time traveling plot. And each time Hermione materialized in class out of thin air, that was so cute. She's amazing.

"You really are the brightest witch of your age."

The characters, now third-years, are visibly maturing. Emma looks a lot different in this movie compared to the previous two, and I suspect it's a combination of her growth (the little girl is now an adolescent), and the fact that the characters spend a lot of time in civilian clothes, rather than their school uniforms. But, Emma looks fantastic. Even bruised and cut up, and covered in dirt, her natural beauty shines through it all. Plus, that pink hoodie is cute.

"Oh yeah, I've been beaten loads of times."

I was so happy that Harry finally up and left his Muggle relatives. They are such insufferable idiots. Really, the worst kind of people. Although, his running away from home reinforces the fact that our little wizards are growing up and coming into their own. Harry is gaining confidence in his powers, and learning about his parents. Hermione's intelligence and diligent studying is really bearing fruit. And Ron, well, Ron is kind of becoming less funny and more annoying.

I have to mention how cool that map of mischief is. Oh, the trouble I could get up to with that and a cloak of invisibility...

It's interesting that this is the first story where Voldemort doesn't show up in some form. The super evil escaped convict turns out to be a good guy. The bad guys are a werewolf who is only a threat when transformed, and actually a good guy in human form, and a shapeshifting creep who hardly poses much of a threat beyond being a shameless betrayer. And the creepiest monsters in the movie were the Dementors (wannabe Ringwraiths), who are supposed to be serving the good side. (Oh, and there's the Executioner, who looked really badass). So I guess there's less of a clear "good and evil" thing going on, and the focus is on the characters' choices and their performance, proving their skills.

I feel like Dumbledore so frequently gets into positions where he has to condone a wrongdoing - like the execution of the hippogriff - because his hands are tied by politics, and he's unable to prove what he knows is right in his heart. I can't imagine how he puts up with it. But he's got to consider himself really lucky that he has such talented students like Harry and friends that are noble and talented, and so easily willing to break the rules.

I wonder where the series is headed, because I keep expecting some heavy developments that carry beyond each story's self-contained plot. Like in the last movie when Hagrid was sent to Azkaban, I thought that might be the setup for the next story, "The Prisoner of Azkaban", except Hagrid was released by the end of the movie, and PoA went in a different direction, rather than detailing some kind of harrowing rescue attempt. Maybe I'm expecting too much, but I guess I'll soon find out. At any rate, Emma's presence is enough to keep me engrossed. Although I wish there was more demonstration of her character and personality outside of directly plot-related activities. I know, it's a theatrical movie, not a reality show, but I just really want badly to be friends with Hermione. I want to hang out with her. She's such a cool person.

Emma Rating: Simply Stunning

Dog Soldiers (2002)

Dog Soldiers is a newer movie (2002), and it has that "indie" feel, complete with the occasionally shaky camera, instead of the "movie magic" sheen that bigger, mainstream productions have. But honestly, that's the worst criticism I have against this movie. It's a gritty story, with plenty of humor, and some good characters. Much attention has been paid to the homages this movie makes to other classic films, but I think it manages to remain fun and not derivative. Certainly, the plot is not original - soldiers holding out in a remote location - but the fact that they are in the Scottish Highlands, and fighting werewolves, adds a little spice to the recipe. It's not the end-all be-all werewolf movie that I'm looking for, but I recommend it to those who find the premise intriguing.

AMC's Fearfest (2008)

Note: This collection of mini-reviews was originally posted on Bridge To Better Days. I am reposting it here for archival purposes. It has been backdated to the date of its original posting.

This year's Monsterfest on AMC is shorter (if memory serves), with a worse lineup (where's my Hellraiser?!), and renamed to Fearfest. What's the tradeoff? We get a celebrity host in the form of Rob Zombie. Which is kinda neat, but I'd rather have more and better movies. Still, it's a whole week of horror titles, and there's bound to be something good in there. Following are some notes about some of the movies I've watched in the past week - mostly the ones I haven't seen before (though not exclusively).

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 (1985) - The first Nightmare on Elm Street movie is undeniably one of the great classics of the horror genre. This sequel, though unsurprisingly, doesn't hold a candle to the first installment. One thing it does have going for it, though, is the kickass rock music - which sounds great despite being very 80's.

Motel Hell (1980) - This movie was so great. The perfect combination of comedy and horror. It was funny without making fun of itself, and without killing the creepiness of the plot. The innocent motorcycle accident victim girl was very alluring throughout, and Farmer Vincent was delightfully demented. The climax involving a pig's head mask and a chainsaw duel was just totally outstanding. Two thumbs up.

Constantine (2005) - This is one I saw back in college a number of years ago. Really more of an action film featuring [supernatural] horror elements rather than a horror film, but entertaining just the same. I think I understood it a bit better this time through.

Panic Room (2002) - And this one's actually a thriller, not a horror. Jodie Foster and her daughter (her movie daughter, that is) hold out against three robbers looking to steal a fortune hidden in their house. Pretty tense, and overall an entertaining movie. Forest Whitaker plays very well the part of a bad guy who has enough morals to make you feel bad for him when things don't work out in the end. I liked it.

Pet Sematary Two (1992) - For once, a sequel that's actually pretty decent. Maybe even as good as the first. The Pet Sematary movies are so sick in that they play on that fear of children losing their pets, and then pervert it by adding a creepy zombie twist. Good stuff, though. I found the fat kid to be pretty easy to sympathize with, and the bully was just a real jackass. He totally has it coming when he gets done in later in the story...

House on Haunted Hill (1999) - Entertaining, and actually manages to sit outside the realm of crappy "no soul" remakes. This one claims to be "faithful" to the original, and while it's totally respectful to the original, and in no way "unfaithful", I just don't know if "faithful" is a word I'd use, since it adds this whole totally supernatural element to the story. Anyway, I love that the one actor totally pulls off the "Vincent Price" persona. It gives the film a whole 'nother layer of authenticity. Anyway, it's a fun ride, and who can say no to Ali Larter? Not I.

Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007) - Crap. Pure, utter crap. I couldn't even watch it. It's just got that whole sleazy, modern direct-to-video feel, meaning a crappy plot, with really crappy actors. Don't bother. (Still better than Pinata: Survival Island, though...)

Bordello of Blood (1996) - Taken for what it is (a Tales From The Crypt movie - and thus, not to be taken seriously), this was a rather entertaining flick about a vampire whorehouse hidden in the basement of a mortuary. Dennis Miller absolutely sells this movie, in the role of a witty private investigator. His quips are without a doubt the main feature (intended or not). By the way, watching another "tale from the crypt" reminds me how much I absolutely despise The Crypt Keeper. It's not just that his puns are absolutely terrible (which, let's face it, is true of most puns), or that you can see them coming from a mile away, but the way in which he hams them up so much just completely kills whatever impact they might otherwise have had... and his laugh is just so damn obnoxious! Moving on...

Jeepers Creepers (2001) - Wow, the first act of this movie is outstanding (by the way, note to Quentin Tarantino: the beginning scene in this movie is how casual chit-chat in a horror movie should be done). If only the rest of it stood up, this would be one of my favorites, but unfortunately the movie sort of descends into mediocre supernatural horror by the 1/3 mark or so. And that's ironic, because I usually say that I prefer a good supernatural monster flick to another run of the mill serial killer story. But this movie starts out as a really good serial killer movie, then drops to the level of a run-of-the-mill devil-on-the-loose story. Still worth seeing, though.

An American Werewolf in London (1981) - A classic of the werewolf subgenre, and, from what I can tell, frequently compared to The Howling, which I saw last year. I have to say, I much prefer the werewolves in The Howling - the ones in An American Werewolf look too much like bears, actually. But, the whole part in the moors, and the Slaughtered Lamb pub, is totally atmospheric and creepy. And the rest of the movie is pretty entertaining. I think I like The Howling better overall, but they're both good lycanthrope classics.

The Dark Half (1993) - Interestingly, a Stephen King novel adapted and directed by George Romero, about a writer (whodathunkit?) whose dark and gritty alter-ego literally comes to life. It's an entertaining story very well-executed, with lots of suspense and mystery, but as far as being strictly scary, I wouldn't necessarily call it a straight horror. The flocking sparrows did seem to channel The Birds just a little bit, though.

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (1993) - Mediocre at best. Too much plot, and not enough horny teenagers. Jason just isn't as intimidating hopping from one body to another. It was an interesting surprise to see the mysterious informant "X" from The X-Files (Deepthroat's replacement) playing the part of a bounty hunter who inexplicably knows all the details behind Jason's secret supernatural origin. What the hell was Freddy Krueger doing at the very end there? Was that supposed to be a setup for Freddy vs. Jason? That was weird.

Willard (2003) - A captivating story about a timid man who is driven mad by his jackass of a boss, and seeks revenge after befriending a host of rats he finds in his basement. But not all of the rats are so willing to follow the man's orders. Excellent acting by Crispin Glover in the lead role. Pretty darn good for a movie about rats.

Christine (1983) - Another Stephen King story, about a geek who buys a junk car (named Christine) and then turns into a cool cat practically overnight. Trouble is, the car is possessed, and a pretty jealous lover. Yeah, it sounds kinda silly, but this was actually a very good movie. And hey, it was directed by John Carpenter. I love how Christine always plays these old 50's-style rock n roll songs (she was "born" in 1957), and then the last line in the movie, by one of the survivors, is... "god I hate rock n roll". In most situations, I'd be annoyed by a line like that. But here, it just works.