Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973)

Invasion of the Bee Girls is very much a product of the '70s. It's also pretty much a softcore porno, and probably fits snugly into the category of exploitation cinema. Naked women abound, and it's not very PC. All the women (including the scientists) are supermodels, and all the men are sleeping around; there's even an attempted rape scene. Although that does express a central theme of the movie, which is a battle between the sexes. When men start turning up dead, apparently as the result of sexual exhaustion, city officials impose a curfew and suggest a course of abstinence (which, to their credit, the townspeople reject), inspiring resentment among a few of the local men towards women, who would seem to be responsible. It's eventually traced back to a nearby government research facility, and involves radiation and genetic mutation, where bee-minded women in lab coats (and nothing else) strip down and slather each other with ooze in an erotic group ritual, surrounded by flashing computers. Like I said, it's a product of its time.

Teeth (2007)

With a movie like Teeth, you can never be quite sure what you're getting. It's a great premise, but its outrageousness puts it at risk for being a low quality or comedic affair. Teeth starts out as being pretty bad, but once you settle into it, it becomes hilariously awkward. After I got over its general badness, I found myself being entertained.

The lead, a high school student and staunch abstinence crusader who discovers (intially to her horror) that she possesses vagina dentata, straddles the line between being average and pretty in a curious way, but her charisma sells the movie. She wears these hilarious anti-sex shirts ("WARNING! Sex changes everything") that I would love to wear ironically. I'm not even sure there's any merit in going into the morals of this movie (the inefficacy and general hypocrisy of promise ring crusades, the feminist underpinnings and misandry of male violence/female retaliation), because the film doesn't seem to take itself seriously enough; it's more of a 'sit back and enjoy' kind of affair.

As for the nudity, I was rather surprised by the emphasis on male nudity. The film's approach in this respect can be summed up by the scene where the sex ed teacher, after discussing the penis in detail (complete with diagrams), is incapable of even speaking the proper name for the "female privates", and the students all turn the page to find that a huge sticker has been systematically placed in their textbooks censoring the diagram of the female (but not the male) genital diagram. With one half-assed exception, you see lots of penii, but no real female nudity at all - and certainly not the titular orifice. I wonder if that has anything to do with the suspicion that this is a "feminist" movie and may either a) be targeted towards a female audience or b) be calculated to piss off exactly the type of macho homophobic males that typically perpetrate the sort of sexual violence the lead in this film is equipped to defend herself against (once she gets the hang of it).

But if there's an up side to this girl's gift, it's that she's still perfectly capable of being a stunning lay, as one romantic scene shows (until a bomb is dropped and the shit hits the fan) - she just has to want it. Which, for most men, is probably asking too much, but for a guy like me, that sounds just about right. And I guess that's the moral that counts, in the end.

(Though, as the one character's fate demonstrates, waiting patiently for years won't make a difference if you are, however, a supreme douchebag.)

A Serbian Film (2010)

I didn't go looking for this film, but when it was pointed out to me, I knew I had to see it. I'm drawn to controversy. And I'm interested in the way that cultures depict the extremes of human civilization. Not purely for entertainment value, though there may be some of that too, but for the intellectual fascination it provides. We talk about normality all the time, but the way we talk about the monsters and demons and specters among us is what really tells us who we are.

A quick look at the plot synopsis reveals that this movie is about a retired porn star who takes one last job for an art film that turns out to actually be a snuff film, allegedly involving elements of necrophilia and pedophilia. But the most shocking thing (and considering the plot keywords, that's saying a lot) is that it's actually a good movie! Judging from its description, I thought it was going to be trash, but I figured it was worth seeing to find out what, if anything, it had to say about the extremes of human nature, and because the idea of a film revolving around a porn star happens to interest me.

But get this: it's a good story. The characters are believable, and are acted well. And while a large portion of the movie depends on shock & gore, even that part maintains a sense of mystery - putting the pieces together, leaving you wondering just where it will all end. And before we get to that part, the suspense is palpable. From reading the description, you know you're in for a wild ride, but it starts out slow. You get the sense of, "I don't know what's going to happen, but it could be anything", and that's really creepy in a movie. When you don't know just how far the director is willing to go, there's a sense of uncertainty, and a lack of control. With most films, you can expect a certain level of intensity. Other films surprise you with something you hadn't anticipated. With a film like this, you know it's going to get rough, but you can only imagine what's in store.

The characterization of the porn star is very respectable, which earns points in my book. He's not stigmatized by what he does (not by the people close to him at least), his wife isn't jealous, and he has an honest but considerate approach towards his young son's questions about his work. The art director, who turns out to be undeniably insane, starts out rather reasonable, with some great insights about art, and how pornography can be lifted to an art form. (It's too bad he has such little concern, or rather, such intense enthusiasm, for the suffering of others). And the porn star's reactions to the shady art director's offer are very believable. He's suspicious, but he needs the money. He proceeds cautiously, and when things get too sketchy, he tries to back out. Unfortunately for him, he's already in too deep.

My favorite part of the film is the first couple days of the shoot for the art film. The major stipulation of the deal is that the porn star is to know nothing about the shoot - he must simply show up, follow instructions, and do his porn star best. So there's a whole lot of mystery. What will he be asked to do, and how will he react to it? Since the character has been humanized, you can empathize with him, and you know his reactions will be humane and likely on par with yours. The first day, they start shooting at an orphanage. Instantly, you feel uneasy. What are they doing there, of all places? There are a couple of women - a nurse, and a mother - plus a young girl. You feel concern at where the narrative is headed. Things get more and more uncomfortable. The suspense here is intense. Then the shit hits the fan and all hell breaks loose.

With all the suspense and the hype (yes, one person saying "this looks intense" counts as hype to me), I was wondering if the film would deliver the horror in the end, and I must say, it most certainly did. Very psychologically damaging, above all the gore and violent sex. And a very depressing ending. I do not know much about Serbia, but I've read that this film is something of an allegorical tale about its history. Something about its people being forced to do heinous things, and treated in kind. I knew nothing of this while watching the film, and still enjoyed the film immensely. Knowing this after the fact increases my appreciation for the film - that there is symbolism and meaning behind it, that there is a point for the extreme nature of it.

I cannot recommend this film to just anyone, simply for its graphic nature, which I know not everyone will be able to stomach. But neither would I advise nobody to see it (which in my case only attracts my curiosity), as I have seen others do. You must be able to get over the extreme nature of the film - specifically, the graphic sexual violence (and make no mistake, the sexual perversion in this film - a topic I have quite a bit of interest in - has little to do with anything other than brutal sadism, both physically and psychologically). But if you can, this is a very competent piece of film-making. Among other exploitation and shock-gorror flicks, this is a film of quality that stands out.

Caligula (1979)

Note: This review was originally posted on a message board forum. I am reposting it here for archival purposes. It has been backdated to the date of its original posting.

Wow. What a film. You know, for the reputation it gets, I thought it was quite good. Caligula is, obviously, a dramatized depiction of the rule of the infamous Roman emperor Caligula, and the story is a great demonstration of the way that absolute power corrupts absolutely, with the added twist of insanity. A lot of the film seems to embrace absurdism and pure hedonism, but at its heart it's the tale of a man who became God - or so he thought.

I think it's a great story, and the rampant deviance and sexuality is quite refreshing. In fact, the movie opens with the title card "Pagan Rome", and it goes all out in depicting the popular image of pagan "debauchery". Public orgies, rape, incest, hints of bestiality ("take my horse to his own bed")...it's got everything. In fact, you may have heard the controversy over the porn scenes spliced into the movie. There are, indeed, a couple places where the sexuality goes way beyond what's necessary. You can clearly tell, in these instances, that the sex is changing from either plot-driven or atmosphere-generating (both used extensively throughout the film), to a point where it's just shameless pornography. And, despite what reputation I may have for what I like to see in a movie, I thought the film would have been much better off without those particular scenes. I have no problem whatsoever with the sex being there, it's just that in those cases it becomes the emphasis, and goes from "interesting movie sex between characters" to "cheap porn sex between extras".

So yeah, I don't want to give off the wrong idea, because I'm thumbs up on most of the sex in the movie. It's just those couple instances where it just goes too far, and it takes away from the movie itself. Which, minus those porn parts, I feel is a really strong and enjoyable movie. Great characters. Caligula's sister was hot. I'm kind of disappointed they didn't end up getting married. "And now for Caesar's wedding gift!" Boy, Caligula totally went insane. Anybody fancy a game of "Almighty Caesar says..."?

I'd love to be more liberal in my recommendation of this film, but the bottom line is, you're not gonna like it if you're offended or in any way dislike explicit violence and sexuality. But if that doesn't bother you, I'd like to take this opportunity to say that Caligula has an entertaining and epic story to tell underneath all that. Despite what you may have heard to the contrary.

"Give him enough rope, he'll hang us all."

9 Songs (2004)

Note: This review was originally posted on Bridge To Better Days. I am reposting it here for archival purposes. It has been backdated to the date of its original posting.

I like the idea of this film. It's a story about the progression of a relationship (focusing on sexual encounters) interspersed with 9 live rock(ish) performances the way they would look if you were standing in the audience with a video camera. The problem is that the music is very uninteresting to me, and the girl was kind of a bitch.

The reason people are talking about this film is because the sex is not only explicit, but unsimulated - indeed, you see enough that they couldn't possibly be faking it. Some people argue that that fact alone makes it a porno, and other people argue the film's integrity for taking such an approach while still maintaining some sense of a coherent, artistic story.

The bottom line is, I think this film has some good ideas, but it's far (far far far) from the visionary masterpiece that some people are claiming it to be. I like how real it is - not just the sex but the interactions between the two characters and the concert scenes. But it's the content that leaves something to be desired.

Plenty of nudity for those who are looking - including things you'd normally only expect to see in a porno. But then again, there's plenty of sex, and most if not all of the nudity is sex-related. The couple actually get into some kinky stuff, including a little S&M, but it's not always terribly exciting. One thing I did like is how after they had sex one of the times, the girl stayed naked and walked around a bit. It's always bugged me when after a sex scene the girl gets dressed real quick, even while holding the covers over her body... You're naked, enjoy it, stay that way for awhile! Get up, walk around, quit being such a prude! Although, in those cases, I'll bet the only reason they get dressed so fast is because it's a movie and they can't afford to push the censors by having the characters walking around naked after the sex is done...